Fake My Smile


I ran through the hospital as I heard shouts and loud beeps. I felt someone try and pull me back but I shook myself away from them and carried on running. I knew where I was heading and I knew that it should take me just a few minutes to get there but for some reason it wasn’t. For some reason the more I ran the further away she seemed to be from me.

I pushed myself forward, forcing myself to get there. I couldn’t let her go through it alone. I had to be there for her. I needed to find out what happened. I needed to hold her, to make sure she was okay.

“Baby, there’s nothing you can do,” Brian cooed at me as I ran passed him.

I shook my head, tears pouring down my cheeks.

“There has to be something,” I choked out. “She’s my best friend. I can’t just leave her.”

I finally made it to her room and skidded to a stop with a shocked gasp as I took in what was happening.

“Get off of her!” I screamed but I couldn’t move.

My feet were frozen to the floor and all I could do was watch. All I could do was watch as Zacky stood over Rosie, his hands curled around her neck. Rosie’s hands were clawing at his, scratching at him to get him away from her but he wouldn’t relent. He was too focused on what he was doing. I looked to the side and saw Hayley standing there, dispassion etched across her face even as tears dropped down her cheeks and onto the floor.

“Why aren’t you helping her?” I shrieked, my attention flying back to Rosie.

I watched as Rosie’s hand movements slowed down until her head fell back against the pillow and her hands fell limply to her side. Zacky moved off of her, his hands covered in blood even though all he’d done was choke her. He glanced over at Hayley and she shook her head.

“Get away from me!” She screamed at him, throwing ring after ring at him.

I heard him plead with her but my gaze was still on Rosie as a loud beep ripped through the air and ripped through my heart.

I gasped and sat up, my body covered in sweat as I panted.

“Oh my God,” I choked out, tears beginning to fall down my cheeks.

I covered my face in my hands and shook my head, jumping as I felt a hand on my arm.


I shook my head and carried on crying, falling limp as Brian bundled me up in his arms whispering soft words to me as he kissed the top of my head and stroked my hair softly. My body shook as left over fear from my dream carried on pulsating through me.

It had felt so unbelievably real and I was terrified that at some point in the night Rosie hadn’t made it. But I knew we would have been phoned if something had happened but it didn’t stop the tremor in my stomach as I thought about what life could be like without her.

“Baby, you okay?” Brian asked quietly and I shook my head as I finally came back to life and looped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer to me.

“I was so scared,” I muttered, my voice thick still with tears and sleep.

Brian cupped my chin and tilted my head back gently so I was looking at him.

“Scared of what?” He questioned, his concerned gaze flicking across my face as he pushed some of my hair away from my face.

I took a deep breath, swallowing down some more tears before telling Brian about my dream. Brian’s brow seemed to only furrow more as my dream went on but by the end of it, his brow had relaxed.

“It’s probably just worry,” he pointed out. “You’re worried about Rosie and if anything did happen to her then you’ll blame Zacky. I know you will and to a point you’ll probably blame Hayley as well for letting it happen.”

“But why couldn’t I do anything about it?” I cried quietly, having calmed down a bit. “Why was I just standing there?”

Brian dropped a kiss to the top of my head. “Do you feel like you could have stopped all this?”

I shrugged. “I guess...”

“That’s probably it. It’s probably just guilt,” he replied before making me look at him again, his gaze firm on mine. “But you’ve got nothing to be guilty for baby. You couldn’t have stopped any of this.”

I bit my lip and shrugged before letting my eyes fall closed as Brian pressed his lips to mine gently. Brian was the one to pull away and then pulled me into his arms, simply surrounding me with him and letting me know I was safe.

I took a few more deep breaths, finding that my tears had now basically stopped. I looked over Brian’s shoulder to the clock on his side of the bed and saw that it was nine in the morning. I chewed the inside of my lip and looked back up at my husband.

“Can we go and visit Rosie?”

Rosie’s P.O.V

I felt like I’d been run over and then just to make sure the driver had reversed a few times over me too. I was in absolute agony and I didn’t know why. I couldn’t remember what could have caused me this pain...that was until I opened my eyes. On seeing that I was lying in a hospital bed, it all came flooding back to me.

Zacky drunk...kissing me...Hayley coming over...screaming at Zacky....yelling at me...slapping me...Hayley leaving with words of hate...Zacky pleading...me screaming...him leaving...me drinking...me...

“Fuck,” I muttered to myself as tears slowly built up behind my eyes.

I rose my hands but hissed as I felt a small tug on one of my hands. I looked down to see a tube in my hand and followed it up to an IV drip. I chewed my lip and closed my eyes, bringing up my other hand as my mind went through everything that had happened.

“Thank fucking God,” I heard breathed and I looked over to the door to see Lyndsey and Brian standing there.

I smiled weakly at them before I began to cry, my tears falling down the sides of my face as I laid back and bit down hard on my lip to stop my cries being audible.

“Rosie,” Lyndsey started as she walked over to me. “I’m so fucking angry with you right now but Jesus Christ I’m so happy you are awake.”

I looked up at her, my vision slightly blurred due to my tears, and watched as she sat beside my bed and reached over to take my hand in hers.

“I thought I was going to lose you,” she admitted quietly as tears of her own began to slide down her cheeks.

I swallowed and took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry Lyndsey...I’m so sorry.”

“Why?” She asked as she looked at me. “Why did you do it Rosie? Did you mean to?”

“Mean to?”

“Try and kill yourself?” Lyndsey clarified for me before shaking her head with a humourless laugh. “Fuck. You did kill yourself.”

That stopped my heart for a moment.

“I...I...” I shook my head as more and more tears poured down my cheeks. “I didn’t mean to. I didn’t...not that. I didn’t want that.”

“Then what the hell were you thinking?” Lyndsey suddenly shouted, glaring down at the blanket that covered me.

Brian came over, shutting the door behind him, and placed his hands on Lyndsey’s shoulders. Without words he told her to calm down, nodding over to me as she looked up at him. My knees now drawn up to my chin and my face buried against them, I tried to block the world away from me. Tried to block the sounds from outside, tried to block the disappointed and pained looks I was receiving from both Lyndsey and Brian.

“Sweetheart, I’m sorry,” Lyndsey apologised quietly and came up to sit on the edge of my bed, tears choking her words as she wrapped her arms around me. “I’m so sorry.”

I bit my lip and shook my head, turning my head so I could look at her.

“I just wanted the pain to go away,” I told her quietly, my voice barely a whisper. “But the alcohol wasn’t doing it. I just wanted, for one moment, not to feel anymore. I couldn’t bare it. It was ripping through me and I just...I can’t fake it anymore Lyndsey. I can’t pretend it doesn’t hurt every time I wake up and realise that he’s just my friend and he’ll always be just my friend. But after yesterday I just...it hurt so much. When the drink wouldn’t do it I just...I needed it to stop.”

Lyndsey listened to me patiently, her hand stroking through my hair as I explained what had happened for me to react like this. Brian now sat where my feet were, his chin propped on my knees now that I’d straightened up a bit.

“And she told me she didn’t want me in her life anymore. That I meant nothing to her,” I paused as another hiccup ruined my already stuttered speech. “Then she called off the wedding and walked out of my apartment. Hayley didn’t believe a word I said...and Zacky...he just stood there. He let her believe it because of his own dumb mistake. I’ve lost my sister because of him and I’m never getting her back.”

“What did Zacky say when Hayley left?” Brian asked, seeing as Lyndsey was beginning to look rather livid with the whole situation.

I shrugged and picked at the blanket as I lowered my legs, curling them beneath me and smiling weakly when Brian nearly toppled over.

“I asked him why he didn’t stick up for us. Why he let her believe what she did and he just,” I took a deep breath. “He said he remembered us kissing and I lost it. I screamed at him because I hadn’t done anything. I was the one that pushed him away the moment he kissed me. I told him to get out and he did...once I had thrown my vase at him.”

Lyndsey chuckled and pressed her lips to the side of my head. She opened her mouth to say something but the door opening cut her off. We all looked over to see a doctor had walked in, a warm smile on his lips.

“Ah, Rosie, you’re awake.”

I nodded as he walked over and picked up the clipboard at the end of my bed, his eyes glancing over to the machines around me as he scribbled things down. He placed the clipboard back into it’s holder and looked over at me.

“How are you feeling?”

I shrugged. “Like I’ve been run over a couple of times.”

The doctor nodded as he glanced between all three of us. He ran a hand through his hair and I watched as his expression fell serious.

“Rosie, in these kinds of cases I have to offer you help. We have many counsellors who work in this hospital or I can...”

I shook my head. “I don’t need that kind of help.”

“Rosie,” Lyndsey started but I shook my head and looked at her.

“Lyndsey, I don’t need help. I’m not,” I looked at the doctor. “I didn’t want to kill myself. I didn’t mean for it to happen and it’s not going to happen again.”

“I understand that that may be how you feel right now...”

“No,” I cut of the doctor. “I appreciate the offer but no. I don’t want it. If I start to...if I need it then I’ll ask for it, I promise.”

The doctor sighed before nodding. “Okay, I can’t force you to take the help. Just...please Rosie, you’re surrounded by great friends. If you need to then talk to them.”

I nodded silently and let him walk out of the room. I looked to the blanket and brought my knees up to my chin.

“I want to go home,” I muttered.

I felt Lyndsey sit on the side of my bed again, her hand coming up and stroking my hair.

“I know sweetie, but you can’t.”

I turned my head to look at her, raising my blurred gaze at her. “Why not?”

“They need to keep you in for at least a week,” Lyndsey explained. “It’s just a precautionary thing because of everything that was in your system.”

I sighed and nodded before turning my head so I was burying my face in my knees again trying to block myself out from the world.
♠ ♠ ♠
She's awake...so whoop!!
Not a lot else to say, so I won't = )
Hope you liked this one!! Not long to go till the end now.
Comments make me feel groovy =D x