Fake My Smile

“So where are we?” Jimmy asked as he peered out of the cab I’d booked for all of us.

“We are in Leicester Square,” I told him and passed the driver some money before climbing out. “And we are going to the Zoo bar.”

I waited on the curb for the boys to get out of the cab, shivering slightly as a cold wind rushed past my legs.

“Cold?” Zacky asked somewhat smug as he stood beside me.

I rolled my eyes and shot him a teasing smirk. “I wouldn’t be if you lot would move your fat arses.”

“I’m hurt and offended by that!” Jason called out and I chuckled.

“Come on. Let’s go,” I suggested, smiling as Zacky linked our fingers together.

I led them all, my heels clicking against the ground and I let my eyes scan around the familiar area. I missed London a lot. It was the one thing that always drew me back to England. And Leicester Square at night is pretty spectacular. There was so many signs lit up, bidding people to come in and enjoy what the buildings had to offer. From cinemas to clubs to ticket shops for the nearby theatres.

“So why Zoo bar? Out of all the clubs in London?”

I shrugged in response to Brian’s question. “Because you asked for a good club...Zoo bar is pretty damn awesome.”

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“My round,” Jimmy declared as he got up from the table we’d inhabited and went off to order our drinks.

I looked around the club for a second before sighing.

“What’s up Zee?”

I glanced to the side and saw Brian looking at me with his head tilted on the side.

“I want to dance.”

He chuckled and nodded before standing up and pulling me to my feet. I looked at him confused before grinning as he led me to the dance floor.

“Have I ever told you how much I love you?” I asked him, stumbling slightly as I had already had quite a bit to drink.

Brian laughed and nodded as we came to a stop. “You might have mentioned it a time or two.”

I smiled as we danced, Brian making sure that I was enjoying myself. The only time I stopped dancing was when Jimmy came over and gave us our drinks, something that I did admittedly jump on him and give him a sloppy kiss for doing.

After a while Brian poked me and I looked at him to see him nodding towards our table. I pouted but rolled my eyes as he pleaded slightly. I took his hand in mine and let him lead me back to the table. Just as we got there I felt a hand on my shoulder and I turned around to find myself squealing excitedly.

“Oh my God! Ben!”

I threw my arms around him and giggled as he picked me up. I pressed my lips to his cheek before looking at him as he put me back on the ground.

“How the...fuck how long has it been?”

Ben shrugged. “A good few years.”

I bit my lip and looked up at him, having forgotten just how good looking he was. His grey eyes sparkled with amusement as he grinned down at me, his dark brown hair now slightly floppy in his eyes.

“You’ve grown your hair,” I mentioned dumbly since he probably realised that.

“And you’ve chopped yours off,” he chuckled, tugging at the ends of my hair.

I nodded before taking a hold of his hand and turning so I could introduce him to the guys, who I noticed were all watching us carefully especially Zacky.

“Guys, this is Ben!” I announced as if they would know who he was.

“And Ben would be...?” Matt ventured.

I smiled as I looked back at Ben before looking at the guys again.

“I grew up with him before I moved to America and we kept in touch after I’d moved. When I came over during those summers, I’d always spend time with him. But we haven’t seen each other in so long.”

The boys all nodded before shuffling around to let me and Ben sit down. I turned my body once I was sitting so I was facing Ben more, not realising that I was blocking off Zacky.

“What have you been up to?”

With that single question, I managed to spark off a very long conversation between Ben and I about the last few years. We caught up on nearly everything before we went in on the conversations happening with the guys. It was nice seeing the guys all get on with Ben, though Zacky seemed quite hostile towards him. I shrugged it off, presuming he was just being his usual protective self.

We sat for a while before I grinned as a song came on that I’d always loved to dance to. I began to dance a little in my seat before Ben grabbed my hand and gestured to the dance floor.

“You want to dance?”

“Yes!” I shrieked excitedly before looking to my other side as I felt fingers curl around my wrist.

I looked at Zacky to find him looking at me with worry. I smiled and leant forward, pressing my lips to his cheeks.

“It’s okay. I know him, I promise.”

Zacky reluctantly let me go and I smiled at him before letting Ben lead me away from the table. We danced for a few songs before we began to get closer, our bodies beginning to rub against one another’s as we moved. I hadn’t quite told the boys the complete truth about Ben and I. I had known him since I was about six...but he was more to me than that. He was my first kiss. He was my first boyfriend. He was the first I’d slept with. Ben held a place in my heart and I don’t think he’d ever leave it.

I felt Ben’s hands grip my hips harder as I rubbed them against his, biting my lip and looking up at him. His eyes flickered between my eyes and my lips before he leant down, pressing his lips to mine. I let my eyes fall closed as I wrapped my arms around his neck, letting myself enjoy the kiss. His hands slid round from my hips and down to my butt, pulling my body even closer to his. I parted my lips, feeling his tongue move against mine.

Time stood still for a moment and I could feel butterflies beginning to form in my belly as various thoughts flashed through my mind. All of them involving Ben, myself and a bed...and not a lot in the clothing department.

I pulled away from the kiss and looked up at him, seeing a dark look that I knew well from when we were younger swirling in his eyes.

“You want to go to my place?” Ben asked, his lips brushing against my ear as he spoke.

I shuddered and nodded, remembering that he lived just a few minutes away from here. Ben kissed my neck gently before pulling away and grabbing my hand in his. I smirked but tugged him so he’d look down at me.

“I need to find one of the guys to tell them where I’m going,” I told him. “I don’t want them to worry.”

Ben nodded with a warm smile and we both looked around for one of the guys. I smiled as I saw Brian coming from the direction the bathrooms were in. I pulled Ben over to him and stopped Brian.

“Brian?”

Brian turned and smiled at me, his eyes flicking to Ben and then to me a smirk falling on his lips as he saw how flushed I looked.

“Yeah?” He chuckled.

I rolled my eyes slightly before looking at him again. “Can you tell the rest of the guys, especially Zacky, that I’ve gone back to Ben’s? I’ll be back in the morning.”

Brian saluted before wrapping his arms around me.

“Be safe okay?”

I nodded and pressed my lips to his cheek. “See you tomorrow.”

“See you.”

I waved before looking up at Ben and smiling, letting him lead me out of the club and to his place.

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I bit my lip as I unlocked my hotel room door, hoping to slip in quietly as I didn’t know if Zacky would still be asleep or not.

“Where the hell have you been?”

Guess he wasn’t still asleep then.

I pushed the door closed and turned to see Zacky standing in the middle of the hotel room we were sharing, his arms crossed over his chest as he glared at me slightly.

“You know where I was Zacky. I bumped into Ben last night and...”

“You didn’t fucking tell me anything Rosie. I know you bumped into Ben but then you just fucking disappeared,” Zacky seethed slightly and I wasn’t entirely sure why he was getting so angry with me. “I was going out of my fucking mind wondering where the hell you were.”

“Okay, I’m sorry. I should have gone and found you but I told Brian where I was going. He said he’d tell you so you wouldn’t worry,” I told Zacky as I pushed passed him and went over to my bag to get some fresh clothes for the day.

“What that’s it?” Zacky asked and I looked at him wondering where he was going to go with that question. “You’re just going to blame someone else and think I’m going to just be all ‘oh, don’t worry about it then’?”

My brow furrowed as I straightened up, holding a pile of clothes in my hands.

“What the hell is your problem this morning Zacky? I get that you’re upset I didn’t tell you where I was but I’m...”

“I’m not upset. I’m fucking pissed off,” he growled slightly and stepped closer to me. “I spent half the night up waiting for you to fucking call or answer your fucking phone and what? You were just out fucking some random guy you met last night.”

“He’s not some random arse guy,” I pointed out quietly as I went to walk to the bathroom. “I know him.”

I didn’t want to talk to Zacky whilst he was angry because I knew that one of us would end up saying something that we didn’t mean. Zacky, however, seemed to have other ideas. He grabbed my arm and turned my back to him.

“Don’t walk away from me whilst we are talking about this.”

“I don’t want to talk about this,” I grunted as I wrenched my arm from his grip.

“We’re talking about this.”

“What the hell is there to say Zacky?” I shouted at him, throwing my clothes down and looking at him in disbelief that he was prolonging this more than it needed to be. “For God’s sake! I said I was sorry. Yeah, okay so I should have told you or phoned you to tell you where I was but I thought Brian had. I’m sorry that you were worried about me, I really am. And I’m grateful that you worry about me but Jesus Christ. I’m an adult now. Stop treating me like a fucking teenager who can’t be trusted!”

“Can you be trusted?” He shouted back. “’Cause you did just kind of walk off with some guy that none of us know last night. He could have been anyone. You say you know him but how the fuck do I know you do?”

I glared at him and pointed a finger at him. “Don’t you dare try and pull that one. Don’t you dare. When have I ever just fucked off with some guy I don’t know? You’ve known me for what? Twelve years? Name one time I’ve ever bloody done that.”

Zacky shrugged as he matched my glare. “Maybe last night was a mess up. Maybe your slut ass usually prefers not going back to people’s places.”

I felt my heart break as Zacky said that and all anger I had been feeling towards him faded away as tears welled up inside my eyes.

“Do you really think that of me?” I asked quietly, fearing my voice would crack if I raised it any higher. “Do you honestly think that’s who I am?”

Zacky shrugged again. “You tell me.”

I bit my lip and took a breath as one single tear fell down my cheek.

“I shouldn’t have to,” I whimpered slightly before turning on my heel and walking towards the door to our room.

“Rosie wait.”

“Fuck off Zacky,” I cried slightly, pulling myself away as he tried to touch me. “Leave me and my slut arse alone.”

I opened the door and stepped out of the room, slamming the door shut in his face before leaning against it and letting my tears fall down my face. I closed my eyes and leant my head back, wishing to be anywhere but here and away from Zacky fucking Baker.

“Ah, she finally drags herself back.”

I opened my eyes as I heard that chuckled and turned my head to see Brian and Jimmy walking down the hallway towards where I was. Their smiles fell as they saw the tears running down my face and they quickened their pace towards me.

“What the fuck happened?” Brian called out, his voice getting a bit high in the middle due to the shock of probably finding me like this.

I shrugged and swallowed before pushing myself off the door.

“Apparently I’m a slut that can’t be trusted,” I muttered before walking away from them, not paying them any mind as I made my way through the hotel.