Fake My Smile

I knocked on his door, hoping that he didn’t have work today. I bit my lip and raised a hand to brush away my tears that were still falling. I knocked once more and listened carefully, wanting to hear the sounds of footsteps. I sighed and closed my eyes as I heard none before wrapping my arms around myself and turning to walk away. I heard a door open but I paid it no mind that is until I heard my name called out.

“Rosie?”

I slowly turned and came face to face with Ben, his expression falling to concern as soon as he saw me.

“Fuck, baby. Come here,” he gestured for me to come back to his apartment, so I did.

I gladly fell into his arms as he wrapped me up in a hug and kicked his door shut behind us. I broke down in his arms and curled my fingers into his T-shirt as pain ripped through me.

“Shh sweetheart,” Ben cooed me as he stroked my hair. “What’s wrong?”

I shook my head and whimpered quietly, feeling Ben place an arm under my knees and swoop me up before carrying me over to his couch. He sat down and placed me on his lap as he carried on stroking my hair and then down my back as he tried to calm me down.

“It hurts Ben,” I whispered through my tears as I buried my face in his neck.

Ben kissed the side of my head before placing his fingers beneath my chin so he could make me look at him.

“What does? Rosie, tell me what’s wrong.”

I took a deep breath and explained to Ben what happened in the few minutes that I had been in my hotel room. I could see as I explained that Ben was angry but I knew how he was. He would never hurt a fly unless he was completely provoked. But he also knew how much I hated violence so I knew he wouldn’t let his anger control him.

“And that’s all because of last night?”

I swallowed and nodded, brushing away some of my tears.

“I’m sorry,” he commented quietly and I laughed slightly.

“It’s not your fault.”

“Well, it partly is. But I think all you can do now is just let things go the way they should okay? I’m sure Zacky didn’t mean what he said. He probably just spoke in anger because he’d been worried about you.”

I bit my lip and shrugged before resting my head on his shoulder.

“I’m so tired,” I voiced shortly before yawning.

“You want to sleep for a bit?”

I nodded and felt Ben pick me up before he moved us to his bedroom. He placed me on his bed and pulled my shoes off of me, letting me curl up under his covers.

“You’re not napping with me?”

Ben chuckled slightly and shook his head. “I’ve got to go into work for a few hours. When I get back, if you’re feeling up to it I’ll take you back to the hotel okay?”

I nodded before pulling out my phone from my bag. “Can you quickly phone Brian for me? Tell him where I am?”

Ben smiled and took my phone from me before pressing his lips to mine quickly.

“Get some sleep love and I’ll wake you up when I get home.”

I smiled before closing my eyes and settling down for some much needed sleep.

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“Thank you Ben,” I voiced quietly as I looked up at him.

“No problem sweetheart,” he replied and pressed his lips to my forehead. “If you need anything then just give me a call okay?”

I smiled and nodded before waving as he got back in his car and drove off. I sighed and turned to face the hotel, not wanting to go in because then I’d have to face Zacky and I just couldn’t do that. But at the same time I knew I didn’t really have much choice. I took a deep breath before walking through the hotel doors, wrapping my arms around myself as I tried not to think about what could happen once I got upstairs.

“Rosie?”

I looked to the side and stopped walking as Brian came running over to me.

“You okay?”

I shook my head and leant against him as he wrapped his arms around me.

“So what happened?” He asked as he led me over to the stairs.

I shrugged. “You know I left last night with Ben?”

Brian smirked slightly and nodded before his whole expression fell. “Fuck, I forgot to tell Zacky where you went!”

“Yes you did. But he would have probably flipped out anyway.”

“Zacky flipped?”

I nodded as I felt tears beginning to build up again. I sighed and bent down to get my shoes off as we carried on walking up the stairs.

“I thought it was just because he hadn’t known where I was gone and he had a go at me for blaming you, which I wasn’t I was just saying that I presumed Zacky knew because you said you’d tell him,” I explained as I tried my hardest not to cry. “And then...then he accused me of basically sleeping about town and he called me a...”

I trailed off and shook my head, not wanting to say out loud what Zacky had called me because it still hurt.

“Called you a what?” Brian asked, his voice tense.

I bit my lip and shook my head as I carried on walking. “It doesn’t matter.”

“No it does. You fucking ran off Rosie. What the hell did he say to you?”

“He called me a slut okay?” I told him, stopping from walking and turning to look down at Brian as tears ran down my cheeks. “He told me that last night was possibly a mess up of mine and I don’t usually like going back to guys places. He called me a slut and it fucking ripped me apart.”

Brian’s eyes widened as he looked at me but it wasn’t long before I watched as anger darkened his eyes. I bit my lip and slouched against the wall as my tears increased. I didn’t want to cry but I honestly felt like someone had stabbed me due to Zacky’s words. The fact that he actually thought that made me feel sick.

“Come on,” Brian commented as he wrapped an arm around me. “Let’s get you to your room.”

I shook my head and raised my gaze back to Brian’s. “I can’t share with him.”

Brian nodded and pressed his lips to my forehead. “You can share with me. I’ll get Jimmy to swap.”

“You sure?”

“He won’t mind,” Brian assured me and led me up the stairs.

I leaned into Brian and felt that brotherly feeling that I always got when I was around him. I always felt protected when I was with him. I focused again as Brian pushed open a door and I walked in with him, seeing Jimmy sitting on the end of one of the beds his gaze steady on the TV.

“Jimmy,” Brian spoke up, gaining Jimmy’s attention from the TV.

“Yeah?” Jimmy asked before he stood up and rushed over to me, sweeping me up in his arms. “You okay?”

I shook my head and bit my lip as I looked up at him. “Would it be okay if we swapped rooms?”

Jimmy’s brow furrowed but he slowly nodded. “Sure. What’s happened?”

“Fight with Zack,” Brian explained for me.

Jimmy glanced at Brian before looking at me. “You want me to get your stuff?”

I shook my head and bit my lip. “I’ll have to get it ‘cause most of my stuff is randomly strewn about.”

Jimmy chuckled and nodded. “Okay, well I’ll get my shit sorted then we can swap okay?”

I nodded and leant up to kiss him on the cheek. “Thank you. I’m going to get my stuff then.”

“You want help?” Brian asked as Jimmy began to move around the room and get all his things together.

“Yeah please,” I smiled weakly before leading him out of his room and to what was mine.

I took a deep breath and stuck the key in the door before pushing it open. I walked in, freezing for a moment as I saw Zacky sitting on the end of his bed his head in his hands. As soon as he heard the door click shut, Zacky’s head snapped up and his eyes widened as he saw me. I shook my head and walked straight into the bathroom, grabbing my toiletries bag and checking that I had everything in it. I then grabbed my make up bag and checked that before zipping them both up and walking into the main part of the room.

“Rosie...”

“Don’t talk to me Zack,” I whispered as I moved over to my suitcase, shoving the two smaller bags I was holding in to it and then scanning the room for anything else.

Brian held out some of my clothes, the ones I’d thrown to the floor earlier as I argued with Zacky. I took them from him, my hands shaking and my smile of thanks weak as I stuffed them in my suitcase. I couldn’t see anything else of mine so I zipped my suitcase up, not surprised when Brian took it from me. I grabbed up my other bag and went to leave the room but Zacky stopped me by curling a hand around my wrist.

I rose my gaze to him as tears slipped down my cheeks and shook my head, taking my wrist away from his grip before wordlessly leaving the room. I made my way down to Brian’s room and knocked on the door, waiting for Jimmy to let me in