Be the Music That Saved Me
Oh brilliant.
As I came home from school, I dropped my bag into my room, and walked to the kitchen to get something to eat, I rolled my eyes hearing Anna's voice run through my head, the taunts about me being anorexic, it was stupid of her even to consider that, like what was the chances, sure maybe I was a little thin, but who would really care about that?
As for me being a cutter, it was a papercut!
I would never have got this at school, because at school in Ireland I had friends that didn't judge me straight away, Stephen was the only one who wasn't like them, but still he noticed to much, I took the bread out of the press, and made myself a sandwich, I looked at my hand, and decided that I should clean it and bandage it.
Hmm, what would Anna say when she saw that I was wearing a bandage, maybe she would give up on the part of me being a 'cutter'.
I rolled my eyes, as I ran my hand under the tap, "ow, ow ow.." I mumbled to myself, it stung like hell.
I dried it carefully, and bandaged it ever so carefully, mumbling to myself under my breath.
When I was done with my homework I looked at the clock, there was nothing to do, and It was still very very early, I sighed and took a book out of my bag, and curled up on my bed and started to read, I hardly noticed my aunt in the door watching me,
"Hello?"
I looked up, and put the book down, she seemed more irritated than normal, this was going to be a long night.
"Hi Susan."
"Yeah, hi. How was school?" She asked, although she wasn't really interested.
"It was...okay." I lied.
She nodded and walked out.
I pulled my iPod out of my pocket, shaking my head, wiping the tears that were now falling down my cheeks away with the back of my hand.
I let a sob escape my lips, ever so slightly, Susan wouldn't hear.
She was now my guardian, and she had always lived in england.
She didn't like it any more than I had when we found out that she was now my legal guardian after my mother and father had been killed in a car crash, the car crash that ruined my life, because of a stupid drunk on the road, a head on collision.
My parents never stood a chance against that.
I remember hearing about it, and now I can still see myself collapse onto the floor in tears, that eventually made me sick.
The mirror can lie
Doesn't show you what's inside
And it, it can tell you your full of life
It's amazing what you can hide
Just by putting on a smile
I don't wanna be afraid
I wanna wake up feeling beautiful
Today
And know that I'm okay
Cause everyone's perfect in unusual
Ways you see
I just wanna believe in me
I'm quickly finding out
I'm not about to break down...
Not today
I guess I always knew
That I had all the strength
To make it through
This was the first time, since coming to England a few days ago that I had cried properly, proper tears, ones that eventually use up all of your energy, it was only eight o' clock now, but I got changed and fell asleep quicker than normal, my iPod still in my ears, I wondered idly what would Susan say to me about going to bed so early, then again she wouldn't care, personally I didn't even know if she had went back out.
As my alarm rang in what seemed all too soon, I pulled myself out of my bed, and changed into my uniform, at least I'd see Stephen today, that was the only thing I was looking forward too, the weekend was fast approaching, what would I do during that time, stay here? No.
I walked to school again, after getting a small bowl of cereal.
Like yesterday, I watched my breath in the frosty air.
As I walked into the corridors, I could see more people than yesterday look at me with curious eyes, and then whispers, I had turned off my iPod, only they didn't know that.
Maybe Anna had gotten to them already.
"She's not only anorexic, but she's a cutter too." I heard a voice come from behind me.
"I know, shocking, it is. She should have just stayed in Ireland."
This hit me hard, if they knew, if only they actually knew why I was here.
I'd gladly go back to Ireland now, it's just the fact that I couldn't.
I quickly took my books from my locker, feeling eyes on me. I walked swiftly to my first class, and sat near the back, like I did in most of my lessons, but it didn't stop the others from looking at me, I looked down, pretended to be reading, until I heard the chair beside me being moved, I looked up to see Stephen, he looked upset over something, maybe this prejudice towards me was starting to rub off on him, well he didn't have to sit beside me.
"Lucy?" He asked, instead of his usual beautiful hello.
"Yeah?" I asked, almost saying it in Irish.
"Are you okay?"
I bit my lip, "Not quiet."
"Is it true?" He asked outright.
"What?"
"You're anorexic, and a cutter?" He asked, his voice was low, but I could see that people were eavesdropping.
I shook my head, "I'm not."
He looked at my hand seeing the bandage and raised his eyebrow,
"I got a paper cut yesterday, If you have been there when I went outside for lunch on time, you would have seen it." I said curtly.
"Lucy, I hate lies."
"Well, maybe you should learn which girl tells the truth and which one lies, kay?"
He stared at me confused, "You heard it from Anna, who hates me, put the pieces together."
I was saved when the teacher came in, but I could still see him glance at me, I guess that even the she devil can make one of the nicest guys I've ever met believe something completely false, or will he trust me?
As for me being a cutter, it was a papercut!
I would never have got this at school, because at school in Ireland I had friends that didn't judge me straight away, Stephen was the only one who wasn't like them, but still he noticed to much, I took the bread out of the press, and made myself a sandwich, I looked at my hand, and decided that I should clean it and bandage it.
Hmm, what would Anna say when she saw that I was wearing a bandage, maybe she would give up on the part of me being a 'cutter'.
I rolled my eyes, as I ran my hand under the tap, "ow, ow ow.." I mumbled to myself, it stung like hell.
I dried it carefully, and bandaged it ever so carefully, mumbling to myself under my breath.
When I was done with my homework I looked at the clock, there was nothing to do, and It was still very very early, I sighed and took a book out of my bag, and curled up on my bed and started to read, I hardly noticed my aunt in the door watching me,
"Hello?"
I looked up, and put the book down, she seemed more irritated than normal, this was going to be a long night.
"Hi Susan."
"Yeah, hi. How was school?" She asked, although she wasn't really interested.
"It was...okay." I lied.
She nodded and walked out.
I pulled my iPod out of my pocket, shaking my head, wiping the tears that were now falling down my cheeks away with the back of my hand.
I let a sob escape my lips, ever so slightly, Susan wouldn't hear.
She was now my guardian, and she had always lived in england.
She didn't like it any more than I had when we found out that she was now my legal guardian after my mother and father had been killed in a car crash, the car crash that ruined my life, because of a stupid drunk on the road, a head on collision.
My parents never stood a chance against that.
I remember hearing about it, and now I can still see myself collapse onto the floor in tears, that eventually made me sick.
The mirror can lie
Doesn't show you what's inside
And it, it can tell you your full of life
It's amazing what you can hide
Just by putting on a smile
I don't wanna be afraid
I wanna wake up feeling beautiful
Today
And know that I'm okay
Cause everyone's perfect in unusual
Ways you see
I just wanna believe in me
I'm quickly finding out
I'm not about to break down...
Not today
I guess I always knew
That I had all the strength
To make it through
This was the first time, since coming to England a few days ago that I had cried properly, proper tears, ones that eventually use up all of your energy, it was only eight o' clock now, but I got changed and fell asleep quicker than normal, my iPod still in my ears, I wondered idly what would Susan say to me about going to bed so early, then again she wouldn't care, personally I didn't even know if she had went back out.
As my alarm rang in what seemed all too soon, I pulled myself out of my bed, and changed into my uniform, at least I'd see Stephen today, that was the only thing I was looking forward too, the weekend was fast approaching, what would I do during that time, stay here? No.
I walked to school again, after getting a small bowl of cereal.
Like yesterday, I watched my breath in the frosty air.
As I walked into the corridors, I could see more people than yesterday look at me with curious eyes, and then whispers, I had turned off my iPod, only they didn't know that.
Maybe Anna had gotten to them already.
"She's not only anorexic, but she's a cutter too." I heard a voice come from behind me.
"I know, shocking, it is. She should have just stayed in Ireland."
This hit me hard, if they knew, if only they actually knew why I was here.
I'd gladly go back to Ireland now, it's just the fact that I couldn't.
I quickly took my books from my locker, feeling eyes on me. I walked swiftly to my first class, and sat near the back, like I did in most of my lessons, but it didn't stop the others from looking at me, I looked down, pretended to be reading, until I heard the chair beside me being moved, I looked up to see Stephen, he looked upset over something, maybe this prejudice towards me was starting to rub off on him, well he didn't have to sit beside me.
"Lucy?" He asked, instead of his usual beautiful hello.
"Yeah?" I asked, almost saying it in Irish.
"Are you okay?"
I bit my lip, "Not quiet."
"Is it true?" He asked outright.
"What?"
"You're anorexic, and a cutter?" He asked, his voice was low, but I could see that people were eavesdropping.
I shook my head, "I'm not."
He looked at my hand seeing the bandage and raised his eyebrow,
"I got a paper cut yesterday, If you have been there when I went outside for lunch on time, you would have seen it." I said curtly.
"Lucy, I hate lies."
"Well, maybe you should learn which girl tells the truth and which one lies, kay?"
He stared at me confused, "You heard it from Anna, who hates me, put the pieces together."
I was saved when the teacher came in, but I could still see him glance at me, I guess that even the she devil can make one of the nicest guys I've ever met believe something completely false, or will he trust me?
♠ ♠ ♠
Okay, this was really just so you'd all know why she moved to England.so it has taken a turn that I wasn't expecting, but I like it..
Please Please Pleaseeee comment?
Pretty please?