When Forever Ends

It’s like everything goes wrong anymore. First, my boyfriend breaks up with me. Then, my best friend leaves me to sit at home alone for months. I find out I’ve been impregnated, and now Jake is coming back to California! I can deal with my life being a mess, but it kills me that Jake is now a victim of bad luck as well.

Okay, I’m being slightly over dramatic here. Jake is coming back to California for a week to recovery, then that Dave guy is flying him out to wherever the van of skaters is. Still, he’s not going to be able to hop back onto his skateboard like nothing happened. It’s going to take a while before he can return to his crazy stunts. Shayne called me early this morning with that news.

My date with Vince was amazing. I prayed that it would be awful, that way I wouldn’t have to be worried with the thought of telling him that my eggo is preggo. Sadly, that didn’t work out too well for me. Vince took me to diner at a little Italian restaurant, I’m a sucker for Italian. Over diner we talked about everything. We talked about movies, music, school, work, our families, our dreams, just everything and anything that came up. After we ate we walked through a small tourist town, it was perfect. Shayne was overly happy to hear about that.

This morning I regret for two reasons. One, I have to go to work and be constantly reminded that my time spent with Vince isn’t going too last much longer, maybe a few more months until I get a bubble stomach. The second, I am currently throwing up last night’s penne with vodka sauce. I heave my half digested food into the toilet and flush. I sit near the toilet for a few minutes to make sure my morning sickness was done. Once I was positive that I wouldn’t be throwing up until tomorrow morning I brush my teeth about seven times.

I stand back and look at my reflection in the mirror. My hair sat in a messy bun on the top of my head, the last thing I need when I’m throwing up is my long hair to be in my face. My skin looks slightly paler than normal which is acceptable right now. I lift up my pink t-shirt to expose my belly, finding my stomach flat I cover my belly again. I wasn’t expecting any big change, I was only about a month and a half pregnant. That still didn’t give me any idea who the baby could belong to.

Dylan and I were drunk the night before he decided to move out. Things happened, and I know for a fact no protection was used. Then about two days later, I got drunk again and spent the night with Boy...that’s what I like to call him anyway. Boy sure as hell didn’t use protection. I clearly remember his slurring words. “Let’s go somewhere else.” I shiver remembering the feel of his breath against my neck. That’s all I know about Boy, he was plastered just like I was. There was no possible way I could have reminded him in that state of mind.

Another thought pops into my head. I was eventually going to be showing. Which means I will eventually be closer to my due date. Thus, meaning I’d be giving birth which normally results in a child. There is no way I’d consider abortion, nor will I consider adoption. I made the choice to get drunk and be irresponsible and I have make up for my bad decisions by doing the right thing, raising a child. If I have a kid, then my parents are going to eventually find out and be hurt by me keeping that from them. I have to tell them, no matter how scary it would be.

My parents are strict Christians. They frown upon anyone of different religions, they never let me date anyone who wasn’t Christian. I always had to be in by nine o’clock at night, even though my younger brother was allowed to stay out until eleven o’clock...they’re sexist as well. So basically, if they ever found out I drank, partied, stopped attending church, and had pre-marital sex they’d have heart failure.

My mom and dad always loved Shayne for some reason. Shayne was and still is the opposite of everything they believe in and she is like a daughter to them. My parents didn’t think twice before allowing me to move across the country with Shayne when we were only fifteen. We stayed with Shayne’s Aunt until we hit eighteen...then we moved out. Maybe I can tell them if Shayne is there they won’t bury me alive.

Who am I kidding, they’re going to freak out either way. Maybe I just won’t tell them, and I’ll show up for Christmas with a huge belly and say ‘Surprise!’ and send them into shock. Hopefully, they’ll be too stunned to scream at me and tell me how much I’ve disappointed them.

Might as well get it over with before it haunts my dreams. I walk into my bedroom, the feeling of dread is creeping up on me. I take my phone off the charger and throw myself down onto my bed I scroll through the numbers until I find ‘Mom & Dad’. I really don’t want to do this, but I have to. I stare at my phone for another five minutes. I’m a wimp. I can do this. Just as I talk myself into hitting the send button my phone emits a blare of music.

“Hello,” I answer after I jump from the sudden breaking of silence.

“Hey, Marley! It’s Bill, we accidently put you and Stacey down on the same shift today, so you don’t need to come in today.” Woo! Yes! That means I won’t have to torture myself by being around Vince! I love Bill!

“Oh, okay! Thanks for calling, I’ll see you Monday.” I say happily.

“See ya.” Bill responds before I hang up. Yes! I am one lucky girl! Just as that thought occurs my stomach lurches and I dash for the bathroom. Just when I think my luck is turning around I go and puke. Figures.

Plus, now that I don’t have work...I’ll have to spend the whole day battling with myself to call my parents. You know what? No. I’m going to do it now, and get it over with. I’m not going to waste anytime either, I’ll call and say what I have to say. No small talk.

I brush my teeth four times and then sit at the kitchen table, tapping my foot against the freezing cold tiles, damn this air conditioner. The ringing sound is really getting on my nerves lately.

“Hello,” my mom’s sugary sweet voice answers.

“Hey mom.” I have time for a greeting. My stomach twists uncomfortable as I think about how to say this.

“Oh Marley! How are you? I haven’t heard from you in months!”

“Uh...” How can I answer this. I can’ts say I’m good...because in my sistuation pregnant really isn’t good. “I know, I’ve been all caught up in work and classes but I called because I need to tell you something, okay?”

“Sure, honey. What is it?”

“Okay, I know you’re going to be really really mad so when I tell you can you please just take the phone away from your ear before you start to scream?”

“Marley Jo! Did you marry that awful Dylan?” Oh, she thinks that’s bad. Just wait until she hears what I have to say.

“No, mom. No. I....um...I’m pregnant.” I wince and pull the phone away from my ear in preperation for what’s about to happen.

“WHAT! You’re pregnant? Marley Jo Donahue! I am so disappointed and ashamed right now!” I let my mom scream at me for two hours straight. The last fifteen minutes of our conversation consist of her saying “You just wait until I tell your father!” After hearing that phrase worded in different ways I hang up on her. It goes just how I knew it would. I’m proud of myself for being able to actually accomplish something while being screamed at, I score 95% on Tap Tap Revenge on my iPod...on extreme! Skillz that killz.

I look around the kitchen and stare at a box of cookies. I think about resisting the urge to tear those cookies apart. Then I remember I’m with child and I go charging at the box. Oh the upside of being pregnant! No diet!