When Forever Ends

When you hold things in, it creates pressure. Tons and tons of pressure. Eventually, the pressure gets so intense that whatever is holding the pressure explodes. That’s what happened to me. That’s why I burst out crying last week, it’s why I told Ace the one thing that makes cringe every time I think about it. I told him how utterly alone I feel in the world. I regret it.

“You okay?” Ace asks for the millionth time today. I’m about ready to punch him in the throat. Every single time I fall, trip, get cut, sneeze, cough, or choke on a root beer barrel Ace rushes to my side and asks me if I’m okay. Okay, maybe the last one is understandable...but still!

It’s my fault really. I shouldn’t have let my guard down. I should have sucked it up and moved on. It’s too late now. I’ve got Ace a.k.a. Dad watching my every move. I’m sick of it.

“Fine.” I growl and pick myself up off the asphalt. Asphalt...funny word. I smile to myself and continue what I was doing before Super Dad came to my rescue much to my dismay.

“Are you sure? You twisted your ankle oddly.”

“Jesus! Back the fuck off, Ace! I’m fine!” I yell angrily receiving attention from a few guys near by.

“You’re such a bitch anymore.” Ace growls and walks away.

“And you’re a fucking pussy anymore!” I yell after him. Seriously...what is with him? One minute he won’t look at me, the next minute he watches me like a parent watches their toddler walking for the first time. So annoying! Plus, we barely ever talk anymore. We occasionally talk about dumb shit like...fucking how nice out it is...or like how different people’s accents are. I can’t even remember the last time we talked something worth talking about. We used to have like fucking deep and meaningful conversations about music and like...Harry Potter.

“When’s Jake coming back?” Derek asks breaking the silence as we both sit at a table and eat lunch.

“Wednesday.” I say flatly. Fuck, it’s only Saturday! I need someone to keep me sane right now.

“How’s he feeling?” Derek asks shaking his head to move his dark hair away from his eyes.

“Fan-fucking-tasic...just quoting him.” I answer nicely, I’m not looking to fight with anyone else right now. “He’s in love or some shit like that.” I don’t really know why I’m telling Derek. I guess it’s just someone to talk to.

“How the fuck did he meet someone in a week?” Derek laughs.

I shrug. “I dunno, I guess he met my friend’s cousin and it was love at first sight. Sounds like a bunch of shit to me...but whatever makes him happy.” I say throwing one of my fries at a pigeon.

“Yeah, Jake’s like that though...oblivious and innocent...naive.” Derek says squinting from the sun. “I fucking hate this sun right now!” Derek hisses right as Ace sits on the same side of the table as me with a wide gap between us. Ouch. This really hurts me. Not being serious by the way, he’ll get over it.

“I love it.” I say with a small smile. “Because later, when we get in the van and the sun’s gone...my skin will still feel all warm. I don’t know...no one ever understands what I mean.”

“No!” Derek says happily. “I know what you mean! It feels like your skin is radiating warmth but you’re not sunburned or anything.”

“Exactly!” I scream and clap my hands together. I grin at Derek, he’s the only person who ever understood what I meant! “It’s like an invisible blanket kind of because even if it’s cold wherever you are you still feel all cozy and warm like you’re in the sun.”

“Wow. You are the only person who ever knew what I was talking about.” Derek tells me with a smile.

“Same.” I say smiling at my fries. Who would have thought that Derek and I could have a civilized conversation let alone have something odd in common? What are the chances? Fucking scary isn’t it?

“Figures.” Ace grumbles.

“What?” I ask sharply. I can’t deal with anymore of his remarks today.

“It figures two bitches like your selves would understand each other.” Ace says picking apart his burger.

“What the fuck is your problem?” I snap, screaming and jumping up from the bench. I even throw my arms up for emphasis.

“My problem?” Ace asks sounding almost shocked. “What the fuck is your problem?” he yells pointing his finger right in my face.

I slap his wrist before screaming “You! You’re my fucking problem!” I make sure to shove Ace.

“Okay, I’m gonna go check out those stairs.” Derek says as an exit and scurries away.

“What the fuck did I do, Shayne! What did I do?” he yells.

People are staring at us. People are whispering. Some people aren’t even whispering, they’re talking loudly. “Good, maybe they’re breaking up.” a chubby girl with bleach blonde hair says to her friend.

“Oh believe me, sweetie, I would never date this!” I scream angrily at the girl while gesturing to Ace. The girl’s faces burns red and backs away. Ace grabs my wrist and pulls me out of the park and to the van.

“What the fuck did I do?” Ace asks in a normal tone, running his hand through his sweaty hair.

“Really do you even have ask that?”

“Yes, I really do because I’m fucking lost. You’ve turned into such a fucking girl lately that I don’t understand a single fucking thing that you do!” Ace starts to scream at the end of this explanation.

“Oh shut the fuck up! You’re the one who’s been acting bipolar since like first week of this fucking thing!”

“Well I’m sorry, okay?” Ace says. “I don’t know what the fuck I did but I’m sorry!”

“How could you not know that you’ve been acting like a fucking overprotective parent for the last week?” I counter.

“That’s why you’ve been such a bitch? You’ve been a bitch because I’m trying to fucking help you?”

“I don’t want you’re help! Did you ever fucking think about that, shitface?”

“Shitface?” Ace asks with a smile.

“Shitface.” I confirm trying to keep a straight face.

“You called me shitface.” Ace says disbelievingly with grin.

“You are one.” I cross my arms becoming completely serious again.

Ace sighs. “I’m sorry. Really. I am, I didn’t mean to be over the top. I just want you to know that I’m always going to be here for you...no matter what.” Ace makes a point to look me in the eye, I instantly look away. I can’t look anyone in the eye...not even my best friend.

“Well, then I’m sorry I’ve snapped at you about three hundred million times in the last week.”

“Good, then we’re okay again?”

“I’d say so.” I say with a smile.

“Good, let’s go spit in Zack’s water.” Ace says with a posh accent, linking arms with me. I nod my head laughing and walk with him back to our table. We then procede to spit in Zack’s water bottle a few times each. Happy drinking, Zack!