When Forever Ends

I am sitting in this pretty kickass rental car. I’m parked right in front of Shayne’s apartment. It’s about thirty minutes past eleven. I don’t know. Maybe coming here was a mistake. Shayne obviously isn’t my biggest fan. I can’t blame her. Every time I’m around her I screw up and make myself into an asshole. Asshole is exactly the opposite of what I want to be. I want to be whatever it takes to break down Shayne’s barriers.

I take a deep breath and get out of the care. Locking Marley’s GPS in under the passenger seat. I grab Shayne’s black backpack and get out og the car, locking it behind me. I walk up to the door examining all the rips and tears in the black canvas material. Shayne had the bag since I’ve known her...it’s old as shit. I flip the bag over to see if my name is still written in silver Sharpie. The silver is faded and I only can make out the letters because I know what it says.

I hit the buzzer and wait. Looking around the pretty empty street. The blaring loud music from inside the apartment stops and the door flings open. I look down at the little boy. At Shayne’s son. He’s a fucking replica of her, down to the fucking way he stares at me with anger in his gray eyes.

“Go away.” he demands and goes to slam the door in my face. I put my foot in front of the door just in time to stop it from closing. His eyebrows pull together as he stares daggers at me. He was equally as good at making me feel like I need to die as Shayne is.

“Can I talk to your mom?” I ask nicely. He looks me over for a few seconds and the yells for Shayne. I fidget nervously as I hear Shayne scolding him for answering the door for a stranger. She stops when she sees me in the doorway.

“Gave, go play with your zombies.” Shayne says. Gavin shrugs and walks away. Shayne watches until he’s no longer visble. “What?” She snaps at me.

I remember hearing Shayne use this voice with people she hates. I always wpndered what people must feel like when she speaks to them in this tone. I never worried about being on the receiving end of her acidic words. Now that I am, I know what all the people she used this voice with before felt. The need to curl up in a ball and hide.

Soundlessly I hold out her backpack. She snatches it from me quickly and throws it behind her. “Bye.” She growls and pushes me before slamming the door in my face. I stare at the door. What just happened? I can’t process the events. The blaring of loud music makes me blink.

I should just leave her alone. She obviously doesn’t want me. There is no way I can changer her mind. No one can change her mind. I’m determined to be the first to change Shayne’s mind. I didn’t travel across the fucking country to settle on a few angry sentences. I want answers. I want her. I’m more likely to get answers.

I sigh and ring the doorbell. I wait. Nothing. I ring it again. Nothing. I hammer my fist against the door. Fuck this.

“Shayne! Open the fucking door!” I yell and hit my fist forcefully against the door.

The door flings open and she stands there with her arms crossed and her lips flattened into a thin line of anger. “Get the fuck in.” she mutters.

I walk inside feeling equally as angry as she looks. “What do you want?” she asks turning down the sounds pumping out of her stereo speakers.

“Answers.” I say simply, looking around the colorful apartment. “Like...why you lied to me. Why you didn’t tell me you had a kid.” I look to her then. She has closed tightly and she takes a deep breath.

“I didn’t lie to you.”

“The hell you didn’t! You weren’t a fucking virgin, Shayne! If you’re going to be a fucking whore you might as well be honest about it. You weren’t a virgin. You told me you were. That’s considered lying, you fucking slut!” I lose control. It really pissed me off that we promised to be each other’s first time and there I was, only God knows what time to her!

Shayne’s hand strikes my face faster than I could see. I stumble back a little holding the left side of my face where she slapped me. It stings like a bitch.

“You’re such an asshole, Ace. How dare you come into my house and say shit like that to me! You don’t know shit about me! Okay! You don’t!” Shayne yells at me.

“Oh! I suppose that’s my fault, right! It’s my fault you’re a fucking secretive bitch! So tell me since I don’t know shit about you! Tell me something I don’t know already? I’m completly aware that you’re a crazy bitch!”

“I was raped! Okay! Excuse me for not broadcasting that to the world! I apologize for trying to escape those memories! Oh! And I’m sorry still! I didn’t think being violated meant I had sex!” She screams at me.

It feels like the room shrinks around me. My heart drops and I feel my anger being suffocate by regret and guilt. I try to think of something to say. Anything at all that will express how sorry I am for what I said. “I’m uh I’m sorry.” I stutter.

“Save it. Just get the fuck out and don’t bother me again.”

“Mom?” a small voice asks. I turn my head toward the sound and see Gavin standing in his pajamas with a DVD case in his hand.

“Yeah babe?” Shayne asks smiling brightly at him.

“Is that my dad?” he asks. Shayne’s eyes grow in size.

“No, Gave.”

“But he’s a bad man. You’re yelling at him.” Gavin says looking up at Shayne.

“Yeah, I know. But this guy is just an asshole...he’s not you’re dad. Okay?”

“Kay.” Gavin says and walks back the way he came from.

“Leave.” Shayne barks at me. Shayne’s hair fell past her shoulder in her natural curls. I really just want to touch it. I really just want to kiss her. I must lose my mind momentarily because I give in to my needs. I pull Shayne toward me. “What the fuck are you doing?” she growls while I tangle my hand in her hair.

“Just shut up.” I say harshly and dip Shayne backwards and kiss her with pent up desire and passion. For the first minute of kiss Shayne fights to get me away from her but kissing me back for a few seconds. I don’t give up because I know she’s going to cave.

I’m wrong. I’m always wrong. Shayne pushes me away from herself forcefully. “Get out.” she growls and pulls the door open and waits for me to leave. I listen. I leave the apartment grinning. I wouldn’t say I have her, but I’m closer to it.