When Forever Ends

I wake up and find Shayne staring blankly up at her bedroom ceiling. It wasn’t exactly what I imagined waking up next to her would be like but at least she didn’t run away this time. The whole sex thing that happened last night wasn’t what I had planned at all. It was a though but...I never really though it’d get that far.

I was ready to shit myself from shock when Shayne kissed me back. The fact that we did more than kiss is mind numbing.

“Good Morning.” I say in the slightly deeper than normal voice because I just woke up. I kiss her cautiously in case she decides that last night was a mistake. I prepare myself to be slapped when I feel her body tense but much to my pleasure she relaxes into the kiss and tangles her hands in my hair.

“Are you okay?” I ask upon noticing her eyes looking deeper than normal, a sure sign that she’s thinking...which isn’t always a good thing.

“Fine.” Shayne says shortly and looks back up at the ceiling while slowly twisting her fingers out of my hair. I wish she would have just left them there. Her bedroom is freezing cold and her hand felt like fire against my skin.

“I have to leave in two hours.” I blurt out. Trying to hint to her that with one word she can easily keep me here. The only problem is...I don’t know if even wants to keep me here. The silence is comfortable and I keep my mouth shut as long as I can, enjoying the peaceful time with Shayne. I can’t hold it any longer, I confess my love once more knowing that it’ll probably cause her to freak the fuck out again. I wish she won’t. “I love you.” I say closing my eyes and enjoying the quiet and the closeness.

Instead of the string of denial I except Shayne to spit out, she stay pretty much the same. Still not speaking so rolls onto her side and stares at me. Really stares at me. “Say you love me too.” I beg her. It’s all I need to make me tear up my plane tickets and stay here with her.

“I can’t.” she says barely above a whisper.

“Why?” I ask nicely this time. I don’t demand an answer. I want one but I can’t force one out of her and expect her to have any feelings other than hate toward me.

“I’m afraid.” Shayne answers playing with a fraying edge on her comforter.

“Of what?” I ask nuzzling my face into her neck. She doesn’t answer. “Of what?” I repeat keeping my voice level while holding her face in my hands ordering her to look me in the eyes for maybe the third time since I’ve known her.

“Being hurt.” she mutters while I take in the blue flecks that dot her gray eyes. Why would she try to keep such beautiful eyes hidden?

“I’m not going to hurt you, Shayne. I would never intentionally hurt you.” I try my hardest to convince her of my words using my eyes and my voice. I think it works pretty well. Shayne pulls my face closer to her’s and kisses me hungrily. Only a crazy man would be able to resist a kiss like that.

Again, it wasn’t like this was all I was thinking about but sex just kind of happened. It was amazing. Mind blowing. Perfect.

“Where are you?” Jenna shrieks.

“On my way! Do you have my things?” I ask while Shayne speeds toward the airport.

“Yeah! Hurry up!” Jenna yells. Someone needs to calm down. I shift my eyes to the clock. Oh shit. She doesn’t need to calm down. I have fifteen minutes. Maybe I should purposely miss the plane.

“I love you.” I say after kissing Shayne at the gate. It’s my final chance to rip up my fucking boarding pass and stay with her.

Shayne bites her lip and looks at me with no emotion on her face. Just say. Just fucking say it. A final call for my flight is announced. “Shayne?” I ask desperately feeling tiny picks in my eye. She shakes her head from side to side keeping her eyes focused between mine.

“What about last night? What about this morning? Didn’t that mean anything you?” I can’t believe this. I thought I was more than a easy fuck to her? Obviously not. “Fine. When you finally break down your barriers and grow a heart call me.” I growl and turn away from her. I blink furiously all down the long hall leading me onto the plane.

I cannot believe a girl is making me cry...if only she could feel how much pain she’s causing me. She would be crying too. I wipe my eyes one final time before flopping down next to Jake and begin to slowly shut myself down emotionally.