When Forever Ends

I am dumb. Okay, maybe I’m not dumb. I sure am unobservant though. Nevermind, I’m dumb. How could I have not noticed this earlier? Why didn’t this thought ever occur to me? How could it be true? Once again, alcohol can be my best friend or my worst enemy. Lately I think it’s more of an enemy.

“Are you positive?” Shayne asks in a whisper. Oh please God, let her be alone. I don’t want to risk anyone else finding about this.

“Obviously!” I reply sputtering with tears falling down my face. This was never in my plan. I have a strict plan for life...and this is not part of it!

“Okay, sorry! Bad choice of words! Are you sure?” Shayne asks again.

“Yes! I’m sure! I took the test and it’s positive!” I sob into my cell phone.

“Shit.” Shayne curses under her breath. “Shit!” she repeats louder. “What are you gonna do?”

“I don’t know!” I yell with my face soggy with tears, my nose running, my body shaking, and my eyes narrowed on the positive pregnancy test.

“Do you want me to come home? I’m not that far away, it won’t take that long. I’ll come home.” Shayne babbles. It’s just like her, always putting me before herself...like my protector.

“No! No! No! You have to stay with the guys! This is too good of a chance for you to give up on just because I’m a dumbass. I’ll be fine.” I say trying to comfort both Shayne and myself. How can I possibly say I’m fine at a time like this. I’m pregnant with only God knows who’s kid. It could be Dylan’s...or it could belong to the mystery man I spent the night with at Shayne’s. God, I’m so stupid! Damn alcohol.

“Marley, you’re the worst liar.” Shayne says sadly, I can just picture how she’s pouting her lips. “You know you’re more important than skating.”

“Listen to yourself! You can’t turn your back on living your dream because of me! I’ll be fine. I promise you.” I reply. I am not going to be the cause of Shayne’s short lived happiness. She’s always there for me, and now I need to be there for her. I can’t let her come home, no matter how much I would love to have her here.

Shayne sighs into the phone. “Fine, be stubborn. If you need me to come home, don’t be afraid to ask. I’ll turn around instantly.”

“I will.” I say biting my lip. How long would I last without breaking down and calling Shayne to come home?

“Promise.” Shayne demands.

“I promise.” I mumble while sitting on the bathroom floor.

“Good, now get yourself to a doctor and be tested again. This whole thing could be a false positive. If it’s not...then you still need to go to the doctor. So do it or I’ll find out and I’ll come home and drag you there myself.” Shayne orders knowing very well about my fear of doctors.

“I’m going today.” I sniffle into the phone. “I called yesterday.” I kick the box from the pregnancy test across the cold titles of the bathroom floor.

“So what time is your date tonight?” Shayne completely changes the subject. Is she crazy? She has to be crazy! It’s the heat, it’s offically boiled her brain.

“Shayne.” I say disapprovingly.

“Marley.” she replies in the same tone.

“I can’t go on a date! I’m freaking pregnant with my ex’s kid or my one night stand’s kid! I shouldn’t even be debating about this because I can’t go on a first date while I’m pregnant! That’s just weird!”

“It’s not like he’s gonna know.” Shayne says casually.

“Yeah, he won’t know now! But it we go on a second date, then a third date, then a fourth date, and so on and one day he picks me up and I have a bubble for a stomach I think he’ll notice!”

“Relax, maybe he won’t care.”

“Psh! Yeah. Okay. When as a guy ever not been freaked out when a woman says ‘I’m pregnant’? Just imagine how freaked out he’ll be!” That’s that. No date.

“Fine. Whatever makes you happy.” Shayne sighs. “I have to go. You should probably get ready to go to the doctor’s and call that guy.”

“Alright, bye. I love you.”

“Love you.” Shayne says before she hangs up. Quickly I reapply make up and leave for the doctor’s.

I always expected to go, get tested and leave. Then have them call me back with the results. That’s not really what happened. I pissed. I sat on a table in the examining room for a while and then my doctor came in the room. Perky as can be, he told that I was pregnant. What I already knew was confirmed. Great, just great.

I don’t cry after I find out. I nod my head, set up my first appointment. Then to Shayne, Ace, and Jake’s apartment to feed Charlie/Dumbledore. I sit around with the cat for a few minutes. I had to cal Vince and give him some reason. I might as well just flat out tell him that I’m pregnant. It’d be better off that way.

I scroll through my contacts until I find Vince’s number. I wait nervously as his phone rings. Charlie/Dumbledore swats at my fingers as I tap them against the couch nervously.

“Hello,” Vince answers.

“Hey.” I say casually into the phone.

“Oh! Hey!” Vince sounds just as happy as I feel when I hear his voice.

“Umm, I just wanted to call and ask what time tonight?” God! I backed out! Why? Why couldn’t I have done the right thing? Why do I never do the right thing?

“Right! Seven?” he asks. “Is that good?”

“Yeah, that’s perfect.” I have three hours to get ready.

“Alright, well I’ll see you later.” Vince says.

“Alright, bye.” I say smiling. Why am I smiling? I just screwed up once again. Can I do nothing right? I’m beginning to think the whole point of my existence is to mess up. At least Shayne will be happy.