Just Jenny!

Hearing the door click shut behind him, I grabbed a nearby pillow and threw it in that general direction. Of course I completelymissed which only aggravated me further, but at least I'm not crying yet.

But what sucks even more than my pitifulaim, and vain attempts to avoid a crying hangover, is the fact that this was somewhat self inflected. I'm not some sort of masochist, but I didavoid him a little bit...Okay a lotbit. Not because I wantedany of this to happen, but I knew I was getting in wayover my head, getting a real-life-honest-to-goodness-I-could-be-happy kind of crush on a guy that is not only emotionallyunavailable (I don't do the sneaky thing), but the one guy in my life I'd reallyhate to lose. Oh, what's that? My plan failed, yeah thanks I noticed.

It's just...he's right, I knowhe is. Sure, he was harsh, but at the end of the day I amscared. Yeah, I'm jealous too, but not of him, of the vapid Barbie doll he's running back to. But that's not the point...the point is he knows, I mean he hasto...right? He practically demanded I come clean with my crush, and I froze. I couldn't do it, not even because I knowI wouldn't be happy with a secret relationship, or the fact that he can't have a public one, but because I was scared. In that split second where he raised his voice, that look in his eye, took me back to a place in my life I thought I'd finallyleft behind. It was just a split second, but that moment's hesitation was more than enough to ruin the best relationship I've ever had with a guy...and we weren't even dating. Oh look, there goes Kevin being right again...I ampathetic.

Pushing aside the empty food containers I wrapped myself in the mess of blankets left in our wake, and finally allowed myself to break down, knowing full well that it wouldn't happen again; at least not over tonight's events. No matter what lay ahead for Kev and I, I'd have to get up, dust myself off, put on some fierce shoes (because great shoes alwaysmake everything just a little bit better), and continue living my life.

Kevin's Pov.

I stood there in shock just looking at the door in disbelief. It could have been seconds, minutes, hours...I wouldn't really know. What I doknow is that by the time I left I was thoroughlydisgusted with myself.

Which is probably why I got in my rental car and made a beeline for the airport. That's right, I came all this way, potentially ruinedthe best relationship I've ever had with a girl I'm not even dating, just to head back home in the middle of the night, leaving Brittany a quick message letting her know we're over, and this isn't going to work.

Six and a half hours.

That's how long I had to think about what happened, Okayso I had a little more time, but at least in the airport I was able to play games on my phone and avoidthe subject. The plane on the other hand was a totally different story.

So after all this reflecting, I came to one conclusion...I messed up. Okay so there's more to it than that, like the startling realization that it hurt me more when Jen didn't ask me to pick her, than it did when she insulted Brittany.

Yeah, I knowthat's a big one. Here I thought I was over this stupid crush I had on her, only to realize I was using Brittany to replace her, which is why I called the brunch off, I'm not that kind of guy, I can't even use a girl who cheatedon me.