Just Jenny!

As predicted my eyes were swollen, my head hurt, and I was nauseous the next day. But other than that, there was really nothing out of the ordinary. I can't honestlysay that I felt like my life was over, only that a very important part of it was somehow gone. That is until my phone went off.

“Why, you wanna tell me how to live my life?
Who, are you to tell me if it's black or white?”blared from my cellphone startling me out of my daze.

“Hello?” I asked cautiously noting Nick's name on the caller ID.

“Hey Jenny, how're you holding up?” He asked throwing me for a loop.

“Um...huh?” I asked my eloquence at it's peek.

“Kevin just got here...and though I didn't stick around for the wholestory, I thought you might need to talk to someone.” Did I mention I lovethis kid?

“Thanks hon...but how much did you hear?” I asked a little nervous as to how I was portrayed, and not wanting to tell him anything to make him think less of his older brother.

“He went to New York to see Brittany, went over to your place, you kicked him out...and he never went to see her.” he said softly.

“Well you got the gist of it...” I trailed off, I don't know what he wants me to tell him.

“Okay...but why'd you kick him out? It must have been bigright?” When the heck did Nickget so chatty?

“Yeah...” I sighed, “It was pretty bad.” I finally answered flopping on my couch with my coffee.

“Do you...want to talkabout it? I know that's usually Kevin's job but...well I don't want you to think that it's over between you and the familyjust because of my stupid brother. And you know I'm happy to listen.” Aw!

“The Family?” I asked smirking while fingering the little sock charm, “You make it sound like you're the mob!” I giggled listening to him sigh. Nick really isthe most mature one of the bunch.

“You know what I mean...so...?” he trailed off.

“It was nothing...well obviously it was something, but I don't even know. We were talking about how we don't talk much any more and then out of nowherehe starts thankingme telling me he's reconnectedwith Brittany because I'm no longer around as much, and they're talking about giving it another go...and that's why he's in the city.” I ranted.

“So that's why you kicked him out? Wow, Jen I don't like her either and it waseffective, but wasn't that just a little rash?” he asked in disbelief.

“Uhh...that's not all, you curly headed dork!” I laughed. Rolling my eyes.

“Okay, so what else?” he asked seriously, giving me a slight glimpse at the guy who wrote A Little Bit Longer and Black Keys as opposed to the kid I tend to pick on.

“Um...” I started a little ashamed of this next part. “I told him she wasn't good enough....”

“Oh boy.” I heard Nick mumble.

“And obviouslyhe got mad, and told me I was just scared and had no right to...to be jealous that he wasn't going to end up alone.” I left out the pathetic, Nick is still Kevin's younger brother after all. That and I know I'm pathetic....even if it's not for the reasons Kevin thinks, plus I don't want to cry.

“He did what?” Oops, Nick sounds mad.

“Sweetie, it's fine, I told off his almost girlfriend, and I amalone andscared...probably always will be. Yes it hurt, and I kicked him out, but he's not the only one to blame here.” I can't be The-girl-who-broke-up-the-Jonas-Brothers.

“Okay so you didn't return all of his calls, and you told off Cruella, he still has noright to speak to you like that Jen. Nobodydoes. Especially....”Here he trailed off as if he'd said too much.

“Especially whatNick?” I asked my curiosity peeked.

“...Knowing whyyou're scared and consequently still alone.” He mumbled softly. Well I guess I don't have to wonder if Kevin ever told his brothers.

“Ah, that....” I sighed.

“I'm sorry if you didn't want me to know, it's just...” he started frantically.

“It's okay. I never expectedKevin to keep it from you all, it's not really a secret or anything. But even so Nicky, maybe he's right. I don't feel comfortable with a lot of people and the ones I dofeel comfortable with...”

“Tell you they want to date demon spawn?” he chuckled.

“Shut up!” I laughed, feeling just a tiny bit better and not caring that he basically outed me.

“At least you're laughing.” He laughed along with me.

“Psh! I was tricked into that!” I giggled, feeling a little less alone.

“Maybe. So...are you in love with my brother?” Wow talk about blunt! “Because, just so you know he can be a bit of a butt, and I'm not sure I want him hurting you anymore.” he added.

Well thatwas a little unexpected. “Nicky, he's your brother, I don't want to be the reason you don't get along.” I sighed, side stepping the question.

“I know he's my brother, and I'm not choosing sides, I'll always have his back, but I'm allowed to be cross with him if he hurts one of my best friends.” He stated firmly. “Plus that's not an answer.” I heard him smirk!!!

“Uhhh! You suck! I don't know...maybe?” Yes, I'm asking someone six years my junior to let me know if I'm indeed in love with his oldest brother...how pathetic!

“Why maybe?” he asked curious.

“You reallywant to hear this about your older brother?” I asked before I delved deeper into the topic....I mean I don't even know what might come out of my mouth!

“That's why I asked.” he calmly replied, all Kevin-clone like.

“Well...as ridiculous as it sounds, I've neverreally felt this way. Sure I've loved Kevin, and all you guys for a long time now, but this is different. I knowI could fall in love with him, I'm just not sure I should.” Because I'm more than scared, I'm terrified I added silently.

“Jen, I knowwhat I said, but Kevinwould never intentionallyhurt you, you knowthat right?” He asked almost shocked.

“Yes, a billiontimes yes, but Nicky I'm scared. What if he doesn't like me back? Of even worse...what if he does?” I all but whispered the last part knowing how irrational it all sounds.

“Okay nowI'm confused. First of all, highlydoubt he wouldn't like you back, and second whywould that be a bad thing? You said it yourself you love us, and you know we all love you too.” Uh that's just it! I can't help but think Kevinwould understand somuch better than his mini me over here.

“What if it doesn't work out? What if I'm not what he wants? Being the best friend....thatI can do. Girl friend? I kind of suck at. Actually right nowI'm pretty much sucking at the best friend part too. Nick, I was pretty badly broken before he came along...and only recently have I started to feel something close to whole...what if I'm not enough?” I asked. “You called me today because your brother and his friend had a falling out....but what about when I'm your brother's ex? What are the chances of you calling me then?” Okay, I'm gonna make myself cry again if I keep this up. I have got to stop this gosh darn pity party.

“I called because myfriend found out her crush was considering getting back together with his ex. And IFyou and Kevin break up, I won't call. I'll come over because my friend just broke up with her boyfriend.” He stated firmly.

“UH! Howbadly did I mess this whole thing up?” I asked feeling like the teenager.

“I don't know. You and Kevin are kind of weird...but I'm sure things will work out eventually.” Gee thanks.

“So...how are things going in yourlove life?” I asked getting up to refill my coffee.

“Smooth. The same, I'm not really seeing anyone right now, but I go out on dates now and then. I'm good though.” he chuckled. “so...will you be okay?” he asked.

“Yes, are you taking care of yourself?” I retorted.

“Uh! Yes MOM!” I bet I got an eye roll!

“You betteryoung man!” I mock scolded. “And thanks.”

“Any time. Now I have to go and make sure Joe doesn't do anything stupid. Keep in touch though, 'kay?” he asked waiting for my conformation.

“Will do. Bye hon.” I laughed.

“Bye!” he chuckled hanging up, and leaving me even moreconfused.