Daddy's Little Darlings
Love
I am waiting in the hospital, sitting on a low wall outside. It is raining, and black clouds have gathered overhead. Perfect. Matchs my mood exactly.
A car pulls up outside the hospital, and Dad and Danny get out. Dad has probably just finished his shift at the factory, and has come home to an empty house, bloodstained bedsheets and a message on the answer machine from a chirpy nurse. He is fuming quietly. Danny, of coruse, is different. I love my brother to bits, I really do. He is extremely pale, with blue eyes and dark brown hair cut in the latest emo style. He isn't in school uniform-he's wearing his fave pinstripe skinny jeans, Panic! At The Disco tee and green and white Van's. He dashes over and gives me a big hug, and we all go inside. Danny clutchs my hand, with nails painted black. Dad spots this and raises his eyebrows angrily. He walks ahead of us, so we don't show him up. We have to wait outside while he goes in to see Mum.
" Is she gonna be Okay?" I ask Danny, and he just shrugs. I curl up on a blue chair, rest my head on his knees.
" Mum tried to kill herself, Danny," I say. " She tried to kill herself because she's fed-up. Why can't we just run away?"
" He'd find us," Danny whispers. " You know that."
Dad spends another hour in Mum's room and then comes out, masking his anger with a sickly smile.
" Okay, kids? Let's go home. Mum's gonna be fine!"
He keeps up the act until we get into the car. I don't trust my dad behind the wheel-I prefer to walk. He grips the steering wheel with white knuckles.
" So," he starts, in a low voice. That's scary. " Your mother slit her wrists and throat. Who do you think drove her to that?"
Me and Danny stay silent.
" It was you two. You two make our lives Hell, always demanding things and being cheeky. You've disappointed us both, you do know that?"
He pauses for an answer. Silence.
" If you two hadn't have been born, our lives wouldn't be like this. We would be happy-"
" Mum would be happy with you pushing her around?" Danny snarls. Dad brakes, very suddenly, and my seat belt digs into my chest.
" I've done nothing! It's her fault-she deserves it! It's her fault, your fault, for not being what I want!"
Dad and Danny carry on screaming at each other all the way home and in the house. I curl up under my duvet in my room, pressing it against my ears. Eventually, I hear a door slam, and light footsteps on the stairs. I go out of my room and onto the landing. Danny's door is wide open and he is in his room, hurrying about. We hear the front door slam shut. Dad has gone to the pub.
" Danny, what are you doing?" I ask, tip-toeing into his room. He has got his big Emo Rnagers bag open on his bed, and he is tipping clothes into it.
" I can't live here anymore, Reilly. I'm sorry," he says, pocketing a wad of money. " I'm running away."
" What? No! Don't go! I need you here! Please, Danny, stay!"
Danny doesn't answer. He carries on packing, until his bag is buldging.
" I'm sorry, Reilly, truly. It's just.....he'll kill me if he finds out, and I don't want that to happen."
" Finds out what?"
Danny sighs.
" I'm gay, Reilly."
A car pulls up outside the hospital, and Dad and Danny get out. Dad has probably just finished his shift at the factory, and has come home to an empty house, bloodstained bedsheets and a message on the answer machine from a chirpy nurse. He is fuming quietly. Danny, of coruse, is different. I love my brother to bits, I really do. He is extremely pale, with blue eyes and dark brown hair cut in the latest emo style. He isn't in school uniform-he's wearing his fave pinstripe skinny jeans, Panic! At The Disco tee and green and white Van's. He dashes over and gives me a big hug, and we all go inside. Danny clutchs my hand, with nails painted black. Dad spots this and raises his eyebrows angrily. He walks ahead of us, so we don't show him up. We have to wait outside while he goes in to see Mum.
" Is she gonna be Okay?" I ask Danny, and he just shrugs. I curl up on a blue chair, rest my head on his knees.
" Mum tried to kill herself, Danny," I say. " She tried to kill herself because she's fed-up. Why can't we just run away?"
" He'd find us," Danny whispers. " You know that."
Dad spends another hour in Mum's room and then comes out, masking his anger with a sickly smile.
" Okay, kids? Let's go home. Mum's gonna be fine!"
He keeps up the act until we get into the car. I don't trust my dad behind the wheel-I prefer to walk. He grips the steering wheel with white knuckles.
" So," he starts, in a low voice. That's scary. " Your mother slit her wrists and throat. Who do you think drove her to that?"
Me and Danny stay silent.
" It was you two. You two make our lives Hell, always demanding things and being cheeky. You've disappointed us both, you do know that?"
He pauses for an answer. Silence.
" If you two hadn't have been born, our lives wouldn't be like this. We would be happy-"
" Mum would be happy with you pushing her around?" Danny snarls. Dad brakes, very suddenly, and my seat belt digs into my chest.
" I've done nothing! It's her fault-she deserves it! It's her fault, your fault, for not being what I want!"
Dad and Danny carry on screaming at each other all the way home and in the house. I curl up under my duvet in my room, pressing it against my ears. Eventually, I hear a door slam, and light footsteps on the stairs. I go out of my room and onto the landing. Danny's door is wide open and he is in his room, hurrying about. We hear the front door slam shut. Dad has gone to the pub.
" Danny, what are you doing?" I ask, tip-toeing into his room. He has got his big Emo Rnagers bag open on his bed, and he is tipping clothes into it.
" I can't live here anymore, Reilly. I'm sorry," he says, pocketing a wad of money. " I'm running away."
" What? No! Don't go! I need you here! Please, Danny, stay!"
Danny doesn't answer. He carries on packing, until his bag is buldging.
" I'm sorry, Reilly, truly. It's just.....he'll kill me if he finds out, and I don't want that to happen."
" Finds out what?"
Danny sighs.
" I'm gay, Reilly."