Sex Drive

I lay in the bath, the hot water felt good on my skin. My house was silent except for the crackles of the bubbles around me as they melted into the hot water with me. I loved to take baths, they were my only place of solace. A place where I could think, relax, let all my stress and worries flow out of me into the water so I could watch them go down the plug hole when I was done.

Yeah, a bit gay I know, but it keeps me from going insane.

I wondered where my brother, Jay was today, probably crashed out at his girlfriend's house again. I lived only with Jay, since my parent's moved up to North Wales in the little beach house where they've retired. We used to go every summer as kids, but now, I haven't seen my parents since Christmas. It's now July.

I should be thankful that Jay and his girlfriend didn't crash out here, or I'd be listening in to one of their kinky sex sessions or something weird. My brother was 22, 4 years older than me. He lost his virginity at 14, so I was pretty slow up to him. And he never failed to tease me about it either. In fact, he never dropped it. A bit like Ian.

I sighed, facing my problems in my head again. I ran my fingers through my hair, splashing hot water in my face. Wash it away, I thought to myself, smiling slightly. Although, I did need to face this virginity thing soon. So I made a plan of action in my head:

1. Go to Oli's house
2. Talk to him about girls and sex (Shock Horror)
3. Get him to pinky swear he doesn't tell Ian or Matthew
4. Go out and meet nice girls who won't scare the shit outta me and make me think I've been raped

Smiling at my amazing plan of action, I squirted a blob of blob Lynx shower gel on my arm and began to wash, making sure all my innocent germs washed off and went down the plug hole with my stress.

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I took a deep breath, preparing a speech in my head about what I was going to say to Oli. I locked up the house, leaving the key under the doormat for my brother, and walking down my road, on the way to Oli's house.

On the way, I passed Ian's block of flats. I stopped, looking at it solemnly. Perhaps I should just ignore him for a while, make him say sorry to me? But I knew that wasn't gonna happen, and I was just gonna go back to him and apologise for not doing anything and he would just walk all over me again.

I sighed, making my legs walk on past the flats to the slightly nicer area of Cardiff, where Oli lived. He still lived with his Mum, so that was why. He wanted to move out though.

Oli was a good guy, when he wasn't with Ian. I knew he thought Ian could be an absolute dick head, but it confused me because all Oli would do was just go along with Ian again. But apart from that, Oli was a really good friend

I came to Oli's picturesque little family house in the sweet little cul-de-sac around the corner from the horrible, brown drugged- flats. I wandered down the perfect pebbled drive, coming the the door bearing the number 83, and knocking.

His mum answered, her hair in curlers. I tried to keep back the laughter.

"Hello Mrs. Sykes, is Oliver in please?" I said in my best, polite-parent tone. Oli's mum loved me, she called me Baby face. I hated it but you gotta be polite, don't you?

"Ohh! Hello Seany! My baby face," She giggled and cooed in her strong Yorkshire accent, grabbing my cheeks. "I wish my Oliver had a face like yours!" I laughed it off, praying Oli wasn't watching this from a cupboard somewhere. "Yes he is, come in my love, have a sit down. Would you like a cup of tea?" She asked, ushering me in. I took my shoes off, not wanting to ruin her perfect looking mint green carpet.

"Oh, err, no thanks Mrs Sykes," I smiled. "I just wanna talk to Oliver,"

Mrs. Sykes smiled. "Oh, Okay," She walked to the bottom of the stairs, preparing to call up.

"Oliver!" She shouted, Oli's room was on the top floor so she had to shout loud. "Sean is here to see you!" She cleared her throat, and waited for an answer. I heard a vague "Okay, send him up!" from upstairs. Mrs Sykes re-entered the room.

"He says you can go up," She beamed, ushering me toward the stairs. I always felt pushed around in this house, as if I didn't know where to go or something. I took to the stairs regardless, and went straight up toward the door with a 'METAL FANS ONLY' poster on it.

"Oli?" I knocked lightly, pushing the door which was slightly ajar open, to reveal Oli sat on his bed tinkling with his guitar. He looked up, smiling. His silver hoops enclosed on his lip glistening in the lava lamp light.

"Hey Sean, how ya doin'?" He smiled, standing up and placing his beautiful black electric Razorback guitar on the bed, to come man hug me.

"I need to talk to you, 'bout last night." I said, immediately. It sounded like we had sex or something. Oli's face fell, and he bit his lip rings.

"Oh, Sean I'm sorry..." He began, I stopped him.

"It's fine, Oli. I fell out with Ian, but it's fine," I smiled. Oli ushered me over to the bed, sitting down with me. Oli looked sympathetic.

"Why, what's he done?" He asked. I was surprised.

"Oli, you know Ian's a complete dick to me. He doesn't deserve me to call him my friend," I stressed, silencing Oli for a few seconds.

"I know. But I'm sorry that...Ronnie told you about..." Oli continued to fiddle with his lip rings, I nodded.

"I know...but Oli, that's why I need your help." I bit my own lip, wishing I had lip rings to bite. Oli stopped, looking into my eyes.

"Mate, anything you need, I'm here. I know that....Ian's a bit of a dick head," Oli started, hesitating. I suddenly felt guilty for making him choose between 2 of his best friends. "But I can't imagine how you feel right now. I mean I lost mine at...13, when I wasn't ready. So I in a way envy you," I flushed, nobody had ever said that to me before.

"Cheers," I stated, not knowing what else to say.

"It's fine, so how can I help you, Smith?" Oli smiled.

"Well, I am ready to you know...lose it," I said, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. Oli nodded. I respected him for being so damn understanding. "But I need to meet the right girl, I need to fall in love," I felt gay for saying that, but Oli wasn't the type of guy to point things like that out.

"Okay, that's a good start," Oli smiled. "Have you seen any girls you like?" I sighed, I hadn't seen a girl I liked for a while...I searched my memory. I only seemed to hang out with a load of guys, all the time. Girls never seemed to surround me, which considering the situation was quite depressing.

Then I remembered, the girl from last night. The barmaid, the one that seemed different...red eyed girl. Her beauty struck me immediately. Although, would I really wanna be with someone who worked at Ronnie's?

"You know last night, the barmaid with the red eyes?" I asked. Oli looked at his knees, where I spied a gaping hole in his baggy jeans. He seemed to be searching his memory, his eyes vacant for a few seconds.

"No, sorry mate, can't remember much of last night." Oli said, adding a nervous giggle at the end. I giggled with him.

"She had this, amazing slim curvy body, she had long flowing brown hair, sorta the same colour as yours, that came down to her waist. She wore this tight red vest top that had black lace around the edges and a sorta ripped tattered black skirt...and of course, the red eye contacts..." Thinking about how gorgeous she looked, I swooned. I needed to know her name. Oli watched me, bemused.

"No I don't remember her, but she sounds nice," Oli agreed. She was more than nice, I was about to defend her, but I decided against it. "Maybe we should try get in contact with her? Through Ronnie maybe if she's a barmaid there? Ron wants to help you doesn't he?"

"Yeah yeah, but I have no intention of entering Ronnie's after 10 again," I laughed, Oli laughing with me.

"Yeah, it was a bit sleazy wasn't it?" Oli smiled. "Well let's go now, we'll ask Ronnie where to find her."