I Saw Her Standing There

Crash

Padge and I had made it nearly 6 months now, it was getting closer day by day and I couldn't be happier with my life. Minus the fact my mocks had been horrific, I still didn't understand trigonometric equations in maths, if I evaluated one more lesbian feminists poetry in English I was going to kill myself, music involved more composing than I was fond of, and geography actually I was quite enjoying the maps and colouring.

There, of course, was still the original problem my parents. My parents weren't fans of Padge, they'd still to meet him but they disliked him. Couldn't help that I guess, I couldn't change their opinions. Not that they really knew him at all.

I was spending more time at my house though, Padge and I were in this amazing stage where we didn't need each other every five seconds but still loved seeing each other, it was odd but I liked it.

I lay there on my side just watching him breath in and out, his eyes flickering shut, as his finger tips brushed against my skin. He looked so peaceful just laying there, I sometimes wondered if there was anything going through his mind at all. Padge was one of those people that was always so laid back and clam about things, you'd think he had no idea what was going on at all. But on the contrary, Michael Paget, probably had more idea about what was going on than most.

According to the guys he'd always been one to think before he spoke, well spoken, and very thoughtful. But then they also blamed this attitude and way of life on the weed.

I gazed back up at him as his eyes started to flicker and his fingers rested on my waist, I presumed he had drifted off.

“Stop staring at me,” My eyes shot up as he spoke.

“I wasn't,” I glare at him, though he still had his eyes shut, it was kind of creepy that he knew I was watching him. He mumbled some kind of “meh” sound, I just moved closer to him and tried to shut my eyes so I wasn't staring at him.

I lasted five minutes. I closed one eye tightly and opened the other, Padge was laying in the same position eyes shut and looked peaceful. I smiled to myself gazing towards him again.

Have you ever looked at someone? Really looked and noticed different things about them?

I did this all the time, people I'd known for a while, just looked at them and saw differences. After the first few dates with Padge it first happened and was really surreal. I saw him in a totally different way, and pretty much that was when I realised I loved him.

“Would you quit staring,”

“Damn you,” I groan as he tightened his grip on my body, letting me move closer to him. “How do you do that?”

“Just can,” He whispers leaning down and pressing his lips against my forehead. “What's the problem?” I stared at him, how did he know there was something wrong? “You keep staring at me, there's something on your mind,” A little smile crossed my lips, before I quickly shook my head.

“It's nothing, just random things,”

“If you say so,” He mumbled closing his eyes again as we both drifted into silence. The good silence where everyone is comfortable and feels no need to talk to anyone.

“Padge?”

“Rhian?”

“I don't want you to go,” I mumbled running my finger tips across his chest. It's always better to say stuff and get it off your mind, apparently, because a problem shared is a problem halved. My experiences it's always a problem doubled. Like the first time I slept with Padge, I needed someone to talk to, so at the time my best option was Niki and Taylor.

Never talk to Niki and Taylor about anything like that.

I think the problem was the convocation was aided with a lot of alcohol, and by the end of the night they were discussing the finer points of bondage and I'd managed to get more sense out of a very drunk Moose.

Granted Moose was so wasted he had no idea what we were talking about, it ended up with the topic of discussion being “When do you know your ready to ride a roller-coaster?”

It was kind of helpful though. There area few similarities such as you just know when your ready.

So by the end of that night I was even more confused, Moose thought I was going to Alton towers, Matt and Jay thought they were going to get lucky with all this bondage talk, and Padge was more worried about his insane girlfriend than before.

Moral of that story is, never drink alcohol and talk about sex. Or something like that.

“Okay then I'll stay,” Both of us turning at the same time to look at each other, I rolled my eyes while he just smiled.

“I'll miss you though,” My attitude towards him going on tour had done a complete 360 in a matter of hours.

“It's not that long,”

“I know,” He turned onto his side to face me at eye level. “I'm okay honestly,” I answered his questions before he gets the chance to ask.

“I know you will be babe,” He leant down and pressed his lips against mine just as his phone went off, neither of us shut our eyes both smirking at each other.

“You should answer it,” He nods leaning over me and picking up his mobile.

“Hello?” I stare at him as he stays in the same place, not moving just leaning over me, talking to whoever was on the phone. My finger tips trailed up and down his chest as he spoke to what sounded like Matt. Padge looked down catching my gaze as I smiled innocently my nails scratching down his skin, he glared at me as I giggled. “No she's with me why?” I stopped moving at the mention of me, I presumed it was me there was no other girl here with Padge. He looked up to me as he listened to whoever was on the phone. “Yeah I'll sort it, okay, thanks Matt,” He puts the phone down as he stares at me still, I couldn't read his expression, there was nothing there to tell me what was going on.

“Where's your phone?” he asked me simply.

“In my bag, on the sofa,”

“Your parents have been trying to get you,” I groaned as Padge stayed hoovering over me not moving. “Rhian your dad's in hospital,” My eyes flickered open as he says it with no emotion, gave it to me cold, as if he knew no other way of telling me.

“Hospital? But,”

“I don't know what happened,” He said simply moving to get up. “I'll take you there now,” I nod still staring at him, not exactly sure what was going on. Everything was on autopilot as I got out of the bed and tried to get ready.

And it really didn't hit me until I was searching for my t-shirt. I picked up my black shirt with “I'm the Stig” written on it and burst into tears. I guess I never realised just how much family mean. I sat on the floor in my skirt and bra just staring at the shirt, not moving, just crying. I don't know where Padge was at this point, but as soon as he walked into the room he sat on the floor next to me just watching me.

“Rhian we don't know what's happened,”

“I know, I over react,” I mumbled through tears as Padge takes my hand in his.

“Come on,” He pulled me up to collide with his body. “I recommend putting a shirt on because otherwise there's gonna be a few questions when you get there,” He muttered as I stay leaning against his chest not wanting to move. “Rhian,”

“I know, it's just,”

“Hey whatever is happening we can get through this, baby I'm here for you,” I chewed my lip looking at Padge who had that comforting smile on. “I won't let you go alone,”

I've never felt like this before, it is the worst feeling in the world, not knowing really is a killer. I sat there in silence, the worst thoughts going through my head about my dad, tears continued to fall as my thoughts became worse. I was remembering everything at once, the last thing I'd said to him, the last time I'd saw him, what he worse, what he liked, the people he worked with; everything flooded into my head and it was too over whelming.

Padge's hand slipped off the gear stick and onto my thigh squeezing it gently.

“It's gonna be fine,” He muttered moving away to slip down a gear, my hand fell on his just needing him with me at the moment, I didn't want to be alone. “I'm here whatever happens,”

“I can't remember the last time I told him I loved him,” I whispered, Padge just squeezed my hand tightly.

“He knows,”

“What if he-”

“Rhian he knows,” He repeated glancing across at me for a brief second.

“I should have seen him more,”

“Rhian please don't do this,” The car stopped and I never even noticed we'd reached the hospital. “He knows you love him, you and your dad have this crazy bond not even I seem to understand, he knows you'll be there for him whatever, okay?” I nodded as he leaned over and pressed his lips against mine. “Let's go sweetie,”

Padge's POV
“Mum!” Rhian let go of my hand as soon as she saw her mum standing in the ward a few people around her, I'd seen pictures of her parents but never actually met them, yes a five month relationship and still yet to meet the parents. Her mum was shorter than her, thin lady, with blonde hair, and no expression on her face. I was slightly scared to say the least. I stayed back, not sure if Rhian had even thought about what was going to happen now. I just wondered in after her, I had to admit I half forgotten her parents would be around, my main concern was Rhian. I watched some of the people around her mother, they started to gaze at me, and I instantly felt awkward. Rhian parted from her mum and turned, a look of fear etched across her face.

“Is that him?”

“This is Padge,” Rhian muttered as her mum starred at me letting go of her daughter. “He's my boyfriend,” This was never how we imagined me meeting her parents, there had been a thousand ways of doing it, this wasn't even on the list.

“Right,” That's all she said before stepping away from her daughter and walking down the corridor, leaving the group in silence.

“I'm Eve,” A lady about Rhian's height, with dark brown hair cut in a bob smiled at me. “Friend of the family, it's lovely to meet you,” She walked towards me, away from the group, and spoke to me alone.

“Michael, nice to meet you too,” I manage to say little shocked by this women accepting me so quickly.

“Don't worry about Sue, it's just hard,”

“I understand, I probably should go,”

“No, stay, I think Rhian might need you here,” We both looked towards Rhian, as another tall thin women with greyish hair hugged her tightly.

“That's Linda,” I nod knowing I wouldn't remember these women.

“What happened?”

“Haven't you been told?” I shock my head, as Eve sighed “Does Rhian know?”

“No, we just got told her dad was in hospital,” Eve nodded, walking towards Rhian as I followed behind, not sure exactly what to do right now.

“Boo,” Eve whispered to Rhian who was trying to put on a brave face but it really didn't work.

“What's wrong with him?” She whispers as I grip her hand in mine, Linda eyeing us both up, obviously accepting me wasn't easy.

“He had an accident, a car went straight into him on the roundabout,”

“On his bike?” Rhian whispered gripping my hand harder. Eve nodded as more tears slipped down Rhian's cheeks. I wasn't even aware her Dad rode a bike, to be honest I wasn't aware of much about Rhian's family, I knew who they were and what they did but I couldn't tell you much else.

I didn't know what to say to make this easy, I don't think there was anything I could say.

“Do you want to go and see him?” Linda asked as Rhian nodded letting go of my hand. “I'll take you,” she muttered leading Rhian away from me. I stood there once again alone and feeling very awkward.

“Best thing you can do for her right now is to be here,” Eve's words caught my attention.

“You think so?”

“Of course, she needs someone to support her. The state her mum's in she can't support Rhian, I'm going to be here if she needs me, but you,” She pauses gazing at me. “I'm guessing your close,” She smiled, as I just nodded not sure what to say. “How long have you been together?”

“6months,” Eve didn't even seem surprised she just nodded.

“Just look after her, I don't want to see her hurt,”

“I'd never hurt her,” I mutter quietly, as Eve smiles at me. “I love her,”

“Sue will understand,” I half chuckle at that comment.

“I don't think if it was my daughter I'd understand,” I add, knowing that my relationship with Rhian wasn't what most parents would want for their child.

“How much older are you?” I sigh shaking my head.

“That's fair enough, I'm sure when you are more comfortable with the gap you'll let people know,” Linda said, as she appeared back with out Rhian, her words stopped me.

“I'm fine with the age gap,”

“But you can't tell people because you know their opinions are right?”

“Maybe this isn't for now,” Eve spoke up as I shock my head about to speak but was interrupted.

“Maybe you should leave,” Linda told me, as Eve sighed, her eyes scanning over me. “This is a family matter,”

“I'm here for Rhian,”

“Rhian has people here for her,” Linda spoke stepping away from me and walking back towards where she'd taken Rhian.

“She's just doing what she thinks Sue would want, you should stay,” Eve told me as I shock my head.

“Tell Rhian I'm outside if she wants me,” She nodded smiling sympathetically at me. This women seemed to have accepted me straight away and she knew nothing about me, and yet she liked me. Very trusting women.

Rhian's POV
“Where's Padge gone?” I mutter to Eve as I walked out of the room, I couldn't stay there and stare at my dad's body with all the tubes and drips going into him

“He said he'd be outside,” She whispered to me, as if we weren't allowed to speak to him. “Linda isn't a fan,” I nod understanding what she meant.

“I'm going to go find him,”

“Okay beau, do you want a drink or anything?”

“No I'm okay, thank you,”

“Rhian?” I turn to look at her noticing a look worry on her face.

“You are being careful with him aren't you?” I raise my eyebrows unsure of what she was hinting at. “I mean the age difference, and just in general,” She must have been thinking that if my real mum wasn't going to take an interest she should at least try.

“I love him,” A bright smile broke on her face.

“He loves you too,” She wrapped an arm round me hugging me tightly. “He seems a very nice young man,”

“I'd say so,” I smile through the tears that still fell with my dad in the front of my mind. I made my way through the hospital, leaving my family and friends behind. I knew they'd always be there for me but I needed more than just kind words and nice comments right now; I needed Padge.

As I stepped through the hospital doors the cold wind hit my body. I folded my arms across my body staring down the pathways leading from the hospital. I couldn't predict which way he would have gone, though I didn't have to, down the end of one of the pathways leaning against the wall was a medium height figure, hood up, with strands of hair poking out, a pair of ripped up jeans hanging off their body and lit cigarette between his lips; he looked like a homeless person half the time.

“Padge?” He looked up as I jogged towards him, finally reaching him and literally jumping at him.

“I love you,” he whispered wrapping a single arm around and pulling me into his chest. “You are so fucking amazing,” His lips pressed against the top of my head as I clung onto his body resting my head against his chest.

“Don't leave me again,”

“I thought you might want to be with your family,”

“My mum wont talk to me,” I mumbled, “My dad is unconscious, family friends hate you, Eve is the only one who understands, but I need you,” I admit looking up at him as he blows the smoke from his lips. He drops the cigarette butt to the floor as I glare at him.

“Littering,”

“Shh,” He mumbles kissing my lips pulling me into him closer, if it was even possible. His sent was comforting, the cigarette smoke, hint of cologne and shampoo. “I'm not going anywhere,” He let go of me for a few seconds to delve into his pockets for what I presume was his cigarettes. “Except to get more fags,”

“What's with the smoking?”

“Nervous wreck,” He smirks. I raise my eyebrows, I've never seen Padge nervous about anything, and even now he's not a wreck he's pretty calm.

“Really?”

“I just met your mother, her friends, and to be honest it didn't go well,”

“Eve likes you,”

“Well that's a start,” He sighs lighting his last cigarette. “Come on I need smokes,” He takes my hand in his leading me back to the hospital.

“They don't sell cigarettes in hospitals,” I hated to point out the obvious but he did do stupid things at the times.

“True, I might have to go to the newsagents,”

“I fancy a walk,” I admit as he gazes down. “I need distracting,” He nodded squeezing my hand and leading me out of the hospital grounds. “Padge?”

“Yeah huh?”

“Can I stay at yours tonight?”

“You don't have to ask,” He muttered rubbing his thumb across the back of my hand. “You can stay there whenever you want, I would never turn you away,”

“Surely you want you're own space, or get fed up of me,” He just laughed looking straight at me.

“Rhian the only time I've ever got fed up was when we watched two seasons of buffy all the way through, and did I complain?” I shock my head. “Because I love you, and being with you makes me happy no matter what we're doing or who else is there, as long as it's you I'm fine,”

“Aww Padge,”

“No don't start that women!”

“Behind that heavy metal crap you really are cute!” He growled at me as I continued walking but got stopped. Padge pulled my arm sending me flying backwards and straight into his body, his lips caught with mine pressing me against the wall.

“So help you love if you call me cute again?” He mumbled against my lips as I just giggled.

“Cute, adorable, sweet, pretty, precious!”

“That's it!” I just continued to giggle running away as he followed me down the street, I should have remembered I don't do sport. I have no talent for running, where as Padge could at least out run me. In only a matter of seconds he caught up with me grabbing my waist and pulling me backwards.

“Love you,” I squealed as he tried to tickle me. “Padge!” He finally stopped turning me round and just kissing me. There was no warning, no cute moment or gazing into each others eyes, he just kissed me, quite forcefully. That kiss made everything go away, for a brief moment there were no problems and everything was fine just like it always had been.
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So apparently if I write something it happens........though its usually just the bad parts of stories...though....
in the future if Niki ends up with Syn or Taylor ends up with Matt Tuck I am taking full credit...okay? =D
As I said at the beginning this story is personal, now its even more personal so be nice.
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