I Saw Her Standing There

“Darling are you okay?” My mum appeared in the door frame of my bedroom and gazed at me.

“Fine,” I muttered staring at the tv still and not looking up at her.

“Are you sure? Rhian you've been watching NCIS for the past three hours,” She sighed walking in and sitting down next to me.

“I know, did ya want something?” I questioned still not paying her much attention.

“Don't be like that with me, I haven't heard much about this Padge boy lately,” She added.

“We broke up,” I said it as if it meant nothing to me; but inside I had a totally different attitude.

“Oh Rhian I'm sorry,”

“Why? You hated him,” I snapped turning to stare at her. “Why be sorry you got what you want!”

“No, there was never a part of me that wanted my daughter heartbroken,” She brushed some of my hair away from my eyes. “I have never wanted you to be this unhappy sweetheart, I guess you really liked that one then?”

“Yeah something like that,”

“Sorry,” She muttered standing up slowly. “Can I get you anything?”

“Cup of tea?”

“Coming up, and Rhian,” She paused looking back at me. For moment I thought she was going to say something important, or something that really would be supportive; I was thinking words along the lines of You'll find someone else or It's not worth the tears but no...

“Don't forget your homework, I think this year is the year you should try a lot harder,”

“I won't,” I give in. My mum had been like that ever since she saw the exam results. I had to start college in a few days and she was going to make sure I did lots of work before I got back; apparently just so I was ahead before I got back. Not that I needed to be ahead.

“Oh and we're going to Asda in a minute,you're coming with okay?”

Not like I had much choice in the trip to asda.

“Rhian can you go get milk, single cream, cheese and some butter?” My mum said gazing over her list as we stood in Asda. “I'll meet you down by the fruit and veg,” I just nodded trailing off to find said foods. I walked down past the chillers, I had always hated how cold this parts of the shop was, when I was with Padge I'd just move closer and steal his body heat; when very much single and alone, it's a little harder to do. I sighed folding my arms around my body and going towards the shelf with the milk and cream.

I lent over to grab the milk, but mistakenly went for the same one as someone else, their hand brushed against mine and I pulled back instantly. I knew his touch, it's not one I'd forget.

“Go on, ladies first,”

“Since when were you such a gentlemen?” I muttered finally looking up at Padge.

“When was I not?” He questioned back. I nearly answered but decided it was better not to remaniss about our relationship. “You look nice,” He added gazing down at me, I shrugged pulling at my skirt slightly. “It's not too short,” He smirks knowing what I was like.

“Thank you,”

“You're welcome, you okay?” I nodded biting my lip slightly. “Taylor let something slip,” He muttered finally getting my full attention.

“Which was?” I questioned, not impressed Taylor had said something about me, I wasn't sure if I was ready for Padge to know how fucked up I was becoming.

“Rhian I'm worried about you,” Too late he knew.

“That's not you're job any more,” I was almost hostile towards him.

“It is, you still mean a lot to me,”

“Not as much as Fiona,” The childish side showing so clearly, no wonder he wasn't with me any more.

“It's complicated,”

“So she doesn't understand?” But he ignored me.

“She wasn't y-” Padge paused shaking his head as I looked down. “You know what I mean,” He sighed, I could feel his gaze over me.

“I'm sorry,” I always apologised when I wasn't sure what else to say. “You're buying fresh milk?” I suddenly asked realising Padge was actually shopping.

“Yeah, I don't fancy the milk that's sitting in the fridge,” He smirks as I just shake my head. “You're buying milk?”

“Mum dragged me out, apparently I'm mopping around at home feeling sorry for myself, so she's had enough of it,”

“Don't blame her,” He smirked as I just poked my tongue out. “Look,” He paused looking down at me. “Do you wanna catch up sometime?” I bit my lip, that was such a bad idea.

“Padge I dunno, I'm still meant to be hating you according to the breaking up with you plan and-”

“Just as friends,” He smiled at me. “I wanna make sure you're okay babe, when Taylor mentioned stuff it fucking worried me,”

“Not as much as it worried me,” I muttered causing Padges expression to change to somewhat confused. “Long story,”

“Tell me over lunch? Tomorrow you still have the afternoon off?”

“Yeah, sounds good,”

“I'll pick you up from college?”

“Yeah, okay, I should go now cause milk is turning my hand numb and I still have a list of stuff to find,” I smiled at him, an honest smile, I don't know if agreeing to go out was a good idea. I don't think he really knew what was going to happen, but I guess it's better to take a chance.

“Okay, see you later,”

“Bye,” He went one way and I went the other. My mind working over time trying to work out what was going on.

“Rhian what took you so long?” My mum groaned as I finally found her picking up strawberries from the container.

“Sorry couldn't find the butter,” I muttered dumping it all in the trolley.

“I just saw that friend of yours,” My eyes flicked up towards my mum. “The boy, Michael,” I nodded chewing my lip slightly. “He looked quite cheerful for once,” My mum always thought Padge looked moody, she use to moan about how scruffy the facial hair was, and his clothing. Though apparently she thought his hair was in a much better state than mine; charming!

“Really?” I muttered, to my mums knowledge we hadn't spoken since the break up, and that's how it would stay.

“Yes, he seemed to have quite a healthy selection of food in his basket as well,” I rolled my eyes. “Shame you two broke up,” I groaned in disbelief, my mother was one of a kind, only now would she like the boy.

I guess I had that coming though. I liked him therefore she hated him, he now hated me and so she loved him. I forgot that life had to be complicated. I mean the man I loved hated me

I wasn't too sure if I was happy or nervous about meeting up with Padge or just about to have a fucking break down about meeting up with him. I missed Padge but at the same time I knew it was going to be awkward.
I stepped outside the college gates, lunch had just started and Padge had said he'd meet me at college, so this is where I presumed he'd be. I looked up and down the road until I finally noticed his car, Padge was stood outside it leaning against the side a cigarette in hand blowing smoke out into the clear sky.

“Hey,” I made my presence known as I got closer to him, his head turned and a smile graced his lips as he noticed me. I'd tried not to dress up, just normal clothes, pair of jeans a nice black gypsy style top and a pair of heels. Something I could wear round college and still look quite smart as well.

“Hey babe, you okay?” I nodded suddenly feeling butterflies going in my stomach. “Let's go then,” He smiled going round and opening my door as I stepped in, why did I feel like a school girl with a crush again?

I knew this was a bad idea.

“So where we going?” I questioned as he stopped at a set of traffic lights.

“I thought of going into Cardiff? Maybe one of the restaurants by the bay or in the centre?”

“Yeah that sounds nice, oh and I have something for you, but yeah probably better to give it to you when you stop,” I muttered as he looked over at me questioningly. “Just wait,” I smirked as he rolled his eyes. “And eyes on the road!”

“Alright Miss I-can-drive-better-than-you!”

“Oh you know it's true,” I smirked leaning over to turn the radio on. Padge let out a groan as Mcfly filled the air. “You love it really,”

“No you love it, I hate it with a passion,” He muttered making me laugh.

“I'm sorry who was singing along to it?”

“Only cause you had the dam song on repeat!”

“Excuses,” I smiled leaning back in the chair and relaxing slightly. Maybe this wasn't such a bad idea, we could be civilised towards each other, we could be friends surely?

It was only a 20minute drive to the centre of Cardiff, easy route, the only problem finding somewhere to park. The large multi storey was our only choice, but that was easy because it meant we were close to the shopping centre.

“Cafe G,” That was the name for the cafe giardino, cause neither of us could say it properly. “Or Cafe caribe, what is with these names?” Padge questioned as we left the car park.

“Cafe G?”

“Yeah sounds good,” He smiled as we walked through the centre of Cardiff towards the cafe, we had made a good choice cause the cafe was right next to the music store so it was predictable we'd end up wondering around that afterwards.

“I'll get this,” Padge smiled as we reached the counter, I just shock my head. “Okay maybe you didn't get that, Rhian you're not paying,”

“I so am,”

“Rhian,” He smirked as I went to get my purse but he grabbed my hand. “Don't make me tie you to that chair,”

“You are so mean,” I mutter bitterly as the guy behind the counter asked us for our order, I just rolled my eyes as Padge ordered for me.

“Go sit,” Padge muttered to me giving me a push in the right direction. I choose to sit at a table a little closer to the back, so we could talk in peace with out being disturbed to much. Padge joined me a few minutes later with our drinks.

“Thanks,” I smiled as he handed me the mango and passion fruit smoothie. He sat opposite me gazing at my drink and rolling his eyes. “What?”

“You're seriously going to drink it?”

“No I was going to paint with it,” I mutter rolling my eyes. “Try some,” I pushed it towards him as he eyed it suspiciously. “Now admit it doesn't taste as bad as you thought,” I smirked as he sipped the drink.

“Maybe,” He smiled passing me my drink back. “So hows college going?”

“Same as before, just more fun I guess,”

“Really?”

“Yeah I dropped maths so I spend less time sitting down and staring at the text book in utter confusion,” I laughed. “Seriously hated that subject,”

“I know,I remember the complaining!” HE chucked. “But otherwise it's okay?” I nodded.

“The lessons aren't bad, there's just,” I pause I didn't really know if I wanted to tell him this.

“What?”

“I did something really stupid and well it's coming back to haunt me,” I muttered looking down, I really didn't want Padge to know about this, even if Taylor had mentioned it. He didn't push it, he waited for me to carry on, Padge was good at listening that was simple. “I wish I'd just thought before I went out, I wish I didn't do something so fucking stupid,” I kept my voice quiet because I didn't want anyone to hear how stupid, I felt, I'd been.

“You're not stupid,” Padge replied. “Far from it, you were hurt, and with good reason,”

“Could have dealt with it better,” I mumbled looking up as Padge nodded.

“Same here, I mean look what I went after,” That made me smile, even Padge smirked. “You were right, nothing changed over night,” It clicked what he meant.

“I can't believe I did the bloody accent,” He just laughed. “Seriously!” I whined but fell to silence as the waiter appeared with our food. He placed my wrap and Padge's panini down, before putting a set of chips in the middle. I gazed at the chips for a few seconds.

“According to a certain crazy girl you haven't been eating,” I groaned rolling my eyes. Sarah was in trouble.

“Do you know everything about me?” It sounded bitter, and I was a bit, I didn't like people telling my fucking ex all this shit.

“Rhian people were worried about, don't get angry with them, okay?” I nodded looking over and smiling. “Also that convocation hasn't finished,” I nodded knowing what he meant but food came first.
“Ya know last week Fiona dragged me into burger king,” I gazed up glaring at him, this better have a good point because there were two of my most hated things in one sentence. “And as soon as I stepped in I thought you were gonna jump out and kick my ass right there and then,” I laughed to myself. “And ya know the food isn't as good if you're not there moaning about it!” He mocked as I just rolled my eyes.

“You liked me moaning then,” I instantly regretted saying that because he just smirked and raised his eyebrows. “Shut up,”

“I didn't say anything,” He smirked at me.

“You don't have to,” Padge just shrugged, the two of us falling into silence as we ate, every so often one of us would have said something but it wasn't deep convocations.

“So what was it you had for me?” He questioned as I finished my wrap and he picked at the chips.

“Oh,” I paused this might not go down so well. “Well, hang on,” I put the last mouthful of food in my mouth and lent down to grab my bag. “I didn't know if I'd see you before, and I didn't wanna just appear at your house because it might be awkward so,” I paused him the envelope and present.

“Oh,” Padge smiled slightly looking over at me. “You really didn't have to,”

“I kinda did,” I smiled back and stole some of the chips. “It's what you do on peoples birthdays,”

“Oh she wants the chips now,” I just smiled innocently as Padge placed the present down. “Thank you,”

“Welcome,”

“Does this mean you're not coming to my party?” I looked up instantly feeling guilty.

“I kinda presumed you wouldn't want me there,”

“That's a load of bollocks and you know it,”

“No Padge I don't know it, because you broke up with me,” He looked at me. “I know its apparently for the best, but it's never once felt like that,”

“We've been through this, Rhian you nearly fucking failed last year because I was with you,”

“No because it was hard, Padge I struggled with and without you there,” I took a deep breath in before looking straight at him. “Having you there made it easier, because never once did you say I couldn't do anything, Padge you kept me going and now I don't have you and I'm fucking up,”

“You can't depend on me,”

“I don't want to depend on you, I just want what we had back,” He shock his head.

“It wouldn't work,”

“Why?” I don't think he had an answer or maybe he didn't have one he wanted to share. “Maybe I should go,”

“No,” Padge sighed gripping my hand that was on the table. “We need to talk,”

“I thought that's what we were doing?” He nodded. “Sorry,” I added, “I didn't mean to suddenly do a 360 on you, and the present is because I care, you mean a lot to me,”

“Hey look, miss 360, its okay, and thank you for this, wanna look around a bit?” I nodded gazing out towards the shopping area. “And babe, at least think about coming to my birthday?”

“Of course,”

“There's something else,” He sighed running his fingers through his hair. “And I really can't understand why,”

“Why what?”

“Why didn't you tell me you thought you were pregnant?” I groaned sinking into the chair.

“Because I was scared you'd leave me if I was,” He exhaled deeply as I chewed my lip. “Guess I shouldn't have worried about that really!”

“Sorry,” I shrugged. “No I am, you shouldn't have gone through that alone, you should have told me even if you weren't, I mean fuck that can't have been easy,”

“I had Sarah,”

“That girls alright, sometimes,” He added rolling his eyes. “Can't believe she floored me,”

“I can,” I smirked slowly standing up and slipped my coat on as Padge pushed my chair in, following me out of the cafe.

“Thanks! You should have controlled her!”

“Like Sarah ever listens to me!” Padge just laughed shaking his head and guiding me towards the left.

“Music store?”

“Yeah sure,” It was kind of awkward walking with him, it use to be easy, but now I felt myself walking a little away from him. The pair of us walked in silence into the shop, both walking towards the metal section, and browsing around. It was predictable that we'd end up in the metal section, but I let myself trail off into other types of music leaving Padge in his element.

“Do I smell?” His voice was quiet but close enough to my ear.

“Pardon?” I turned to realise he was only a few centimetres away from me.

“You heard? What's with the 2meter radius?” He questioned leaning closer to me, his arm stretched out to pick a cd up. I just shrugged.

“You don't smell,”

“Thanks,” He chuckled putting the cd back and moving away from me.

“Well a bit,” I mock catching his cocky expression.

“Yeah well so do you,”

“Oh mature Padge!” I laugh poking my tongue out at him.

“Says you, I swear that's your answer to everything just poking your tongue!” He mocked sticking his tongue.

“Really shouldn't do that unless you plan on using it!”

“Miss Lewis!” He mocked, “I am utterly shocked by your proposal that I would ever use my tongue,”

“You are not innocent!” I laughed as he just jabbed my sides, I know he didn't miss that blush that took over my cheeks. “Whatever Michael! Or should I call you Padgie as well?”

“Seriously that names burns with that bitch,” He groaned making me giggle.

“Wow don't you sound like Niki! Why did you ever get with that girl?” I asked as we both decided to go towards the exit of the shop. Padge shrugged walking closer to me than we had before, it kind of felt different, we seemed more comfortable, like friends again. We'd broken the ice once again, things were okay at the moment.

“I was trying to forget, but it didn't fucking work, and I was horny, but she was shit,”

“I know that feeling,” I muttered shuddering slightly, as Padge's eyes went wide.

“The trying to forget feeling, not the horny feeling,” I mumbled making Padge laugh.

“You are not innocent either!” He retaliated as I kept my innocent smile up. “I know you're not, its no good smiling like that I-” He paused realising where we were about to enter. “Oh you've got to be joking,”

“You know you wanna!” I smirk walking into New Look while Padge grumbled about the shop. I had to agree I wasn't the biggest fan but sometimes they did good stuff. I trailed towards some brightly coloured tops which caught my eye. Padge, who was following me, got caught back though.

“Oh you're from bullet for my valentine, can I have your autograph?” I think it shocked him more than me. Padge opened his mouth to say something as I just giggled from behind a clothes rack. “I saw you play in Cardiff, and I've got you're album you guys are awesome,”

“Thanks, did you enjoy the gig?”

“Oh totally, you were so amazing,”

“Thanks,” He signed whatever she asked, and then called me over when the girl wanted a picture. “Rhian, mind taking this?”

“No that's fine,” I smiled as I appeared in front of the girl who looked at me a little confused. She passed me the camera as I took the photo, she looked pretty, Padge on the other hand is not photogenic.

“Good photo?” She questioned as I shrugged slightly.

“You look pretty, him not so much,” I smirked, she just laughs taking the camera. Padge rolled his eyes nudged me in the ribs as I mocked him. The girl was watching our interactions with a little smile.

“Well thank you for this, hope to see you guys play again soon, and-” She paused looking between as if debating whether to say something. “You make a cute couple,” I went to say something but Padge just smiled and muttered thank you as the girl waved and walked away.

“I didn't want fans knowing my personal life that's why,” He added staring down at me.

“It's okay, and I'm nearly finished,” I gazed around the shop to see if I'd missed anything, and of course I had, they had a large shoe section at the back.

“Finally,”

“We've been in here five seconds,” Padge's smile fell and he mumbled something about it being unfair as lead him towards a different part where the shoes were.

“Five years more like, oh no,” He pauses realising we were arriving in the shoe area. “You are not allowed in shoe shops,” He groans as I smile sweetly.

“Technically a clothes shop, with a shoe section,” I smiled wondering round aimlessly, I just liked looking at shoes.

“Same thing,” He muttered accompanying me none the less, I knew it didn't bother him that much. “So what do ya wanna do after this?”

“I don't mind,” I smiled gazing towards him but at the same time picking up a pair of shoes. “Wonder round more? Or go? Or whatever, I'm happy whichever,”

“Wonder around more sounds good,” I nodded putting the pair of shoes down as Padge screwed his nose up at them, he might be my boyfriend but I value his opinions. “They looked tacky,” He explained as I just smiled pushing him out of the shop.

We did spend the rest of the afternoon wondering around the shops, not really buying much, but having fun. It was good to be around him again, even if it wasn't going to end how I wanted to, I liked having this moment with him. It might have all seemed pathetic but just having him as a friend helped. We talked and I knew he was trying to get certain bits of information out of me.

We ended up at the cinema, probably a bad choice but I don't think either of us really were thinking, we were acting more like friends than anything else. We'd choose the only movie that kind of looked okay, there really wasn't much on at all, we picked Lords of Dogtown. Then of course we'd filled up on ice cream, that was the easier choice, even choosing the seat was easier than choosing the movie. There weren't that many people in the theatre either so we had it pretty much to ourselves.

For our own safety, I think we both silently decided the back row was a stupid idea, and placed ourselves a few rows down from the back.

“How do you know that ice cream doesn't have dead animal in it?” Padge questioned as the adverts were still rolling and the lights were still up. I looked at him and just rolled my eyes.

“Of course it doesn't,” I muttered but he kept staring at me.

“But how do you know?” I shrugged, thinking about it for a few minutes then gasped.

“Shit what if it does?” I paused staring at the ice cream, while Padge looked at me with a dead serious stare. “D'ya think it does?” I questioned him, but he shrugged getting his spoon and stealing some of my ice cream.

“Fuck knows but it tastes good,” I just growled at him moving the ice cream out of his reach, stupid man and his stupid tricks.

“You are so mean to me!” Padge just smiled and shock his head.

“It's just fun winding you up babe,”

“Whatever,” I huffed gazing up at the boring adverts at the screen.

“Rhian?”

“Yeah?”

“This guy,”

“What guy?”

“The one you slept with,” I groaned looking over at him, and I didn't want to talk about this and I was sure as hell he wasn't keen, what was the point of bring it up?

“It was one big mistake, and I regret it so much, I was drunk, and he hurt me and-”

“Hurt you?” He questioned, there wasn't really an emotion to read, he kept the expressionless gaze.

“Not like forced or anything,” I quickly added. “But it hurt,” I laughed awkwardly. “The bruises weren't pretty, and some of the things he said,” Padge let out a deep breath he'd obviously be holding before staring towards the screen, no longer looking at me. “Padge?” I muttered, he didn't want to hear about I know, but he did fucking ask! I sighed running my finger tips across his arm. “Don't be angry,”

“I'm not,” He muttered bitterly, that was some crap acting, his finger tips grazed over my hand. “I just don't like seeing you hurt, I wish I could have stopped you,”

“I wish I'd stopped me,” He nodded, our eyes met, and I realised how I much I'd let myself and him down. People being angry can hurt sometimes but when you've disappointed someone or let someone down its the most painful thing I've ever been through. I'd seemed to have go through this process of disappointing people far to much this year.

“Things happen, fuck,” He groaned gazing at me. “Rhian I still have-”

“Don't its not fair,” I sighed turning away. “Because you'll only say it can't happen, and I don't want to have to go through this much pain all over again,”

“I know,” He didn't let go of my hand though. “Sorry,” The lights dimmed and we both turned away from each other, my heart beating faster and faster as the sparks coursed through veins, all of that just from his hand holding mine.

He kept his hand there for most of the movie, moving every so often to get some ice cream, something you can't do easily when holding hands. The movie was okay; but soon I lost interest and became, subconsciously, more interested in Padge's hand. He didn't seem that bothered, he didn't stop me as I ran my finger tips across his palm, the callus on his finger tips, and the small scars on the back of his hand that had always been there. I soon realised what I was doing, and pulled away from his hand trying to concentrate on the movie again.

“What did ya think then?” He questioned as the movie finished and people started to leave. I nodded with a smile.

“Yeah was good,”

“Really, I thought the blonde kid was good,”

“Yeah me too,” I muttered following him.

“Which one?”

“Huh?” Padge just laughed gazing at me with a smirk.

“Glad you found my hand interesting,”

“Very,” I blushed gazing down at my feet. He could still do that to me, turn me into the blushing school girl. “It's been a good afternoon,” I added feeling a need to make light convocation with him.

“Yeah it has, but-”

“Yeah I should get going to,” I smiled ending his convocation. “Sarah and I have a project due in tomorrow, and Hue has to help,”

“Sounds fun,”

“It's on sports, and not even the kind you play on the wii,” I mumbled making Padge chuckle.

“Oh so you and Sarah are screwed,” We both laughed, it was true, we would fail if it wasn't for Hue's help tonight. “I think the guys are going out tonight, so that should be painful,” I raised my eyebrows questioning what he meant. “Fiona wants to come with,”

“Oh, good luck,”

“Niki's gonna kill her,” He groaned as we walk into the lift trying to remember where we parked.

“I wanna say level 2?”

“Yeah could be,” He smiled, I leant over to press the switch, as Padge's eyes travelled down my body before falling to his feet.

“Thank you for today by the way,”

“You're welcome, I had to make sure you were okay,” He muttered making me smile slightly, though it sounded as if he was doing this as a chore not out of choice. But I noticed the sweet smile on his lips, Padge had these cute moments that no one really saw because that wasn't the manly thing to do. As the lift shuddered to a stop my eyes shut, I was not a fan of lifts.

Padge's hand rubbed up and down my arm, he must have moved his body closer to mine and then spoken to me. “Doors open babe,” I could hear his amusement in my fear, his hand pressed against the small of my back pushing me out of the lift. “You really hate them don't you?”

“Have you not seen the movies where people die in lifts and there's fires and you cant escape and there's no one to protect you and-”

“You worry to much,” My gaze fell on his smirk, I just rolled my eyes following him towards his car, watching him dig into his pockets for the keys. He opened the door for me, waiting for me to get in, and then walked around the other side. I let a small groan out before he got in the car. I was slowly getting over him but now, after all this, that had gone out the window.

“You alright?”

“Yeah,” I smiled turning to see Padge gazing straight at me. “Just thinking, but it's nothing,”

“Thinking about?”

“Something going out the window,” Padge just nodded, he was use to me making no sense. “So am I okay?” I questioned, that had been bothering me ever since he said he had to check I was. Padge looked at me again, his eyes falling to my chest then back up, typical man.

“I don't know,” He said simply. “Are you?”

“You can't answer a question with a question,”

“Well I just did,”

“That's not fair! That's like agai-” But I didn't finish because as the silly mutterings had started both of us had been edging closer and closer to each other, till I finally made the almighty mistake of leaning in and kissing him squarely on his lips. Sometimes in life you just don't think about the repercussions of an event because it feels so dam right at the time, this was one of those moments.

Don't ask me how, cause I was never sure how, but I ended up on Padge's lap. The fierce make out session showed no signs of stopping any time soon. His hands fell from hair and onto my shoulders, pushing my top off my shoulders exposing my bra to him. I should have probably remembered that this was a public multi-storey car park, but it didn't click. His hands were everywhere, touching every bit of exposed skin, mine were no better.

His lips broke from my mine, but it wasn't over, he kissed down my neck, biting and sucking at the sensitive skin, he still knew every part of my body. He suddenly bit down on my shoulder the pain snapped me out of the fantasy world I'd been in. The bite brought me back to reality, a harsh reality I wasn't comfortable with.

“No,” I whispered pushing away from Padge. I moved backwards hitting my side on the steering wheel.

“Rhian?” Padge looked up, worry etched across his features. “Babe what's wrong?”

“We shouldn't be doing this,” I whispered actually feeling tears start to prick in my eyes. “I can't do this,”
Padge sighed his hand linking with mine. His other hand cupped my face bring me closer to him; he pressed a delicate kiss on my lips.

“But you want to,”

“Doesn't make it right,” Padge shrugged his eyes scanning over my face.

“Doesn't make it wrong,”