I Saw Her Standing There

Again

Rhian's POV
My arms linked around his shoulders, my legs wrapped around his waist as he pushed inside of me. It had never been this good before. The strength between us, it sounded insane but there was this connection; the connection was stronger than before.

I was losing my mind.

I loved this man. He was my everything, and he broke my heart; why was I letting him be this close to me again?

My head fell into the crock of his neck. Padge pushed harder into me, my hands tightening my grip on his shoulders as I moved my body in time with his. “Fuck baby,” He whispered in my ear pressing an innocent kiss behind it. His pace was slower than usual, a slow speed I could cope with, I was savouring every moment of being with him.

I'd been with him for just under a year and then we broke up, just suddenly broke up, I never got that last kiss or the last hug. I hated myself for not remembering, but today when Padge had touched me everything came flowing back.

We'd made out in the car, like teenagers, then I'd suggested my house. We'd ended up in my bedroom, my clothes quickly left at the door way, his soon to follow, before he pinned me up against the wall. I hadn't stopped any of it, the lust I was feeling was far too strong to ignore. I wanted Padge inside me again, I wanted to feel our bodies together, all my feelings right at that moment were driven by lust. But when the condom went on and he slipped inside of me everything changed. It was no longer just pure lust, I was in love again. Everything slowed down, both of us just savouring the moment.

It might sound stupid or just pathetic but I loved him with all my heart and I don't think I was ready to give all that up again. His lips grazed against mine, his eyes watching me waiting for me to make eye contact.

“You're beautiful,” He whispered pushing in a little harder this time, his thrusts matching with my hips, the movement speeding up now.

I love you

But I didn't have the courage to say it out loud.

I let out a groan as he hit a spot within me, pushing down hard, my body contracted against him. My head fell against Padge's shoulder, I pressed kisses against his shoulder and in the crock of his neck. A thing shine of sweat glistening over both our bodies.

“Fuck baby,” Padge groaned, his long hair falling across his face as his movements became more irregular. My body tightened around his, my finger tips grazing down his back, as one of his hands fell down my body pressing again any sensitive spot on my body; he still knew me so well. I bit my lip as he thrust in harder. “Let. It. Out.” He smirked gripping my hips and angling his own to bring us both to pleasure. I let my fingers run through his hair, I watched him groan and moan as I remembered every way to get a reaction out of him.

For a brief second I was back in time. We were perfect together and there was nothing stopping Padge and I being together.

“Fuck Michael,” I hissed my hips bucking against his, my body shaking, Padge reaching his own high seconds afterwards. A loud grunt from Padge was followed by my name slipping past his lips. The pair of us becoming a tangled mess of limbs, leaning against the wall. My head fell to his shoulder, trying to regain my breath as Padge rested his head on mine.

We stayed silent for a few minutes, Padge suddenly moving and shocking me slightly. His arms wrapped around my body hugging me tightly. He didn't say anything as he picked me up and placed me lightly on the bed. I wasn't sure what was going through his mind; I never really had mastered the talent of reading Padge's mind.

He laid down next to me, letting me curl up into his side, pressing a small kiss against the top of my head.

“Okay sweetheart?”

“Mhmm, you?” He nodded kissing me again. I leaned up my lips pressing against his, a small smile breaking across his face as he pushed my down leaning over me. “Good,”

“I like to think so,” He smirked his eyes fixing on mine.

“So,” I whispered biting my lip unsure if this was the right time to say anything.

“So,” Padge repeated before his eyes flickered over to his now vibrating jeans, the rocky theme sounding out from them.

“Should I be worried about you?” I whispered running my finger tips down his arms. “Get it,” He sighed rolling over the bed and grabbing his jeans. I watched him flip his phone open. I tried not to listen to his convocation but I couldn't help it, it was deadly silent in my room, and whoever was on that phone was talking pretty loudly. It sounded like Jay, though could easily have been Moose.

“Nah dude I'm kinda busy,” Padge sighed running his fingers through his hair. “Just stuff,” I watched him turn round and for a brief second smile at me. “No it can't wait, no I'm not with Fiona,” He suddenly snapped, I bit my lip as an image of that skank came flooding back to me. Oh fuck, they were still together? Of course they were.

“Yeah, Moose, no I'll be there tonight, I said I would,” He paused listening to the phone and turning to smile at me. His hand trailed up my leg and across my thigh, sending me a small smile, squeezing my leg lightly. “Yeah bye mate,” He snapped the phone shut, dropping it back onto his jeans. “I have to get going,” I didn't really know what to say to him, I just nodded trying to smile, but right now I was more than a little confused. “I'll talk to you later yeah?”

“Of course, today was well yeah,” I wasn't sure how to put it, or the difference between feelings I should express and those that should stay hidden.

“I know,” He squeezed my thigh leaning over to kiss me again. I think I was starting to realise what I'd done with him, and becoming very self concious and even a little embarrassed. I pulled the covers over my body and watched him grab his own clothes to pull on.

What did all this mean for us?

“Rhian you sure you're okay?” He sighed sitting down on the bed. I didn't have to guts to tell him no, so I just nodded.

“Seriously go, I'll be fine! Just a little tired that's all,” Padge nodded sliding a random strand of my hair off my face and leaning in.

“Get some sleep you, I'll catch you later,” He kissed my lips lightly. “I'll let myself out,” I nodded watching him walk away, I waited for the front door to close behind him before I collapsed onto my pillow with a loud scream.

Why the fuck hadn't I said something?

I just let him go away, without a word. It was like two old friends catching up. It wasn't what I wanted. I wanted more!

Padge's POV
“Fuck,” I sometimes wondered what went through my mind. I fucking loved that girl and yet I kept fucking it up. I broke up with her, I just made out with her in a car (like a teenager in love), gone back to her house and fucked her and yet still managed to leave her with out a word. I don't have the fucking guts to ask her out, or to bring her back into my life. And why is that?

Because I fucking love her.

I sighed stepping out of the car and onto the pavement. I really need help.

“Baby you're back and I'm ready to go!” I opened the back door slowly as her voice travelled through the kitchen.

“It's like 7pm,” I muttered glancing at the clock to check I had the right. “We're not leaving to 8:30pm,”

“Well I'd thought I'd get ready quickly for you,” Fiona giggled walking towards me and wrapping her arms around my waist. Her lips pressed against mine, her tongue slipping across my bottom, the forceful nature of her kiss wasn't a turn on. I instantly felt guilty. Guilty for kissing my girlfriend.

I was so fucked up.

“Thought maybe we could have some fun before we go, if you know what I mean,”

You'd have to be fucking stupid not to know what she meant.

Her finger tips slipped under my tshirt going to push it off my body; I was not fucking her on my kitchen floor I had to live in the house after I chucked her.

“Fiona no,”

“Oh come on sweetie you know you want to,” She giggled her hand falling to my crotch, gripping my junk, with a sickly smirk on her face. “Come on baby, fuck me hard and fast on this floor,” She whispered kissing me again.

“Sorry I have to go wash my hair,” I muttered back away and wondering through the house.

“I can help you with that,”

“Nah I'm good,” I quickly got into the bathroom before she made it up the stairs, locking the door and ridding myself of my clothes. I needed a shower, I smelt of sex and I had far too much on my mind, a shower would relax me.

I think I'd learnt one thing today; I wasn't ready to give up Rhian. However stupid or immature I had acted today I really did love her. It wasn't just the fact I got to have sex with her again; not that I'm complaining. It was the fact I got to have her near me again, got to hold her again, got to watch her and talk to her again. It may not be the manly thing to admit but I missed her. Fiona was just there as some kind of plastic blow up doll, she didn't have a real personality. You could get her to lie on a bed and she'd make the sounds but that is where it ended.

Why the fuck was I with her?

Low standards. Bored. Fed up. Missing Rhian. God the list went on and on, none of the reasons good enough to explain why I was with that whore.

I gazed over at my phone one last time before stepping out of the shower and grabbing a towel. I knew what I had to do. Pressing 2 on the keypad the number instantly popped up and I held the phone to my ear, listening to it ring.

“Yes before you asked your lighter is sitting on my bedroom floor,”

“Wow, that's not what I was going to ask, but thanks anyway,” I chuckled leaning against the door of the bathroom.

“Oh, sorry I just thought maybe thats why yeah, anyway sorry you wanted something?” She questioned, I knew she'd be blushing right now, feeling stupid for assuming that's what I wanted.

“I wondered if we could meet up tomorrow?”

“We've just spent the whole day together,”

“Oh well I-”

“No I didn't mean it like that,” I heard her laugh to herself. “Not bored of me yet then?”

“I don't think I could ever get bored of you sweetheart,”

“That's good to know, but don't you have plans?” I sighed sliding down the bathroom door to sit on the cold floor.

“Yeah but I've changed my mind, I'd rather spend tomorrow with you, Rhian I think I made a fucking stupid mistake,”

“You're not the only one,” She mumbled, I don't think she meant for that to come out. “Sorry, but yeah I'm free tomorrow if ya wanna catch up?”

“Yeah I do, say, 10am, I'll meet you at yours?”

“Sounds like a date, I mean plan,” She stuttered making me chuckle. “Don't laugh at me Paget!”

“Would I do that? Anyway I've got to get going, but tomorrow at 10?”

“I'll be there, talk to ya later,”

“Bye,” As soon as I put the phone down I heard Fiona's voice shouting at me to get out of the bathroom so she could reapply her make up. God knows why she was going to put more on, I failed to see how any more make up was going to help her. “Hang on a minute women!”

Thank fuck I was going to see my friends tonight, all I had to do was lose Fiona some how, and I could have a nice night out.

“Why did you bring her?” Niki mumbled gazing over at Fiona who was propping herself up at the bar.

“Because someone opened their big mouth and told her,” I glared at Jay who instantly looked to the floor. Niki growled at him muttering something about killing him for it later.

“She's such a fucking waste of air!”

“You're telling me,” I mumbled, pushing my jacket off my shoulders and leaning back in the chair.

“So why the fuck are you with her?” I shrugged about to say something but was interrupted by Matt laughing and pointing at my shoulder.

“That is why! Fuck you must have got some,” I gave him a confused look, only to yelp when Niki poked my shoulder. Bitch.

“Dude she's left her mark on you,”

“Oh fuck,” I moaned grabbing my jacket and instantly putting it back on. “She's gonna flip,”

“What? Why would she flip?” Niki laughed but I caught Raychel's gaze who was sitting in front of me and she nearly chocked on her drink.

“You cheated on the whore! Ooo you're in shit now!” She laughed as Moose looked at his girlfriend.

“You've got another girl?” Niki questioned in shock. “How?”

“Oh thanks,” I muttered as she just smirked at me.

“You know what I mean, not how, but well yeah how?” I shrugged as the group had all leaned in slightly to hear the latest gossip.

“It's nothing,”

“So just another whore your fucking,”

“She's not a whore!” I groaned as Niki laughed.

“Which one?”

“Rhi-” I stopped intermediately realising what Niki had done, the proud smirk on her face showed she had succeeded.

“You're fucking Rhian?” I didn't say anything, Matt, Jay and Moose's eyebrows had reached their hair line, not that I blamed them.

“You've gone back to her?” Jay checked his understanding. I shrugged. “Well what then?”

“Yeah cause if you're fucking her around, I'd hate to be you on the receiving end of that Sarah chicks anger again!” Moose laughed as Raychel hushed him; dam women had told everyone then.

“I don't know what I'm doing with her,” I mumbled. “I, I just,” I shrugged picking up my beer.

“Don't fuck her around okay?” Niki muttered. I just nodded. “And off the record, I quite liked that one,”

“Fuck did you actually just say you liked one of Padge's girlfriends,” Niki just kicked Matt under the table for that comment.

“Speaking of girlfriends I like, where is yours?” She questioned Matt, who gazed round the pub with a small shrug.

“She came in with me, but you know Taylor, she's her own person,” Matt exaplined gazing around again but couldn't spot her. He needed have looked though because only a moment later a scream erupted from the girls bathrooms and Fiona came flying through the door.

Yes literally flying, there was air behind her.

“Ever talk about my friends like that again and I swear to all that is unholy you're be a dead mother fucker!” Taylor's American accent boomed round the now silent pub. “Do I make myself clear bitch?”

“Fuck you!” Fiona was stupid enough to fight back. I groaned watching Taylor's fist connect with Fiona's face. Fiona instantly falling backwards, taking a tray of drinks which had been resting at the bar with her, the liquids split all over her causing a shrill scream to escape her lips.

“That's it, I quit,” I mumbled to myself standing up, I think everyone thought I was going to separate the two girls, but honestly I'd rather Taylor did the damage. I heard Matt shout after me, something about sorting Fiona out, but she was no longer my problem. This was the end of it.

Rhian's POV
Being in love is totally punk rock. You know I'm starting to agree.

When you spend most of your life around someone, and base so much on them, it's really odd when they are no longer there for you. I was lost right now. I had no compass or map to get me out of this because this was all new territory. I had never lost someone I loved.

The first few days I coped because it was like I just hadn't seen him for a few days, but then after a week I was a mess. And now, the fact I'd had him back and yet wasn't sure if that meant anything or not was driving me insane. I had no idea what to do with myself in the evenings. My phone didn't go off with texts from him after he came home wasted or I wouldn't wake up a realise he'd left me a message. I'd lost my best friend.

“Oh come on Taylor is the loudest!” Raychel laughed passing me another can of soda. “She shouts all the time and when her and Matt are together!” We were carrying on the arguments from camping as the girls tried to cheer me up; it wasn't really working.

“Not like you and Moose are quiet exactly!” Taylor snarled back opening the bottle of Jager and taking a swig. Oh good, drunk Taylor, a maximum security risk if ever you saw one.

“I second that,” Sarah groaned. “Jason and I had to leave the freaking house!” Raychel's cheeks tinted red but was smiling proudly none the less.

“Let's be honest though we all know whose the loudest, she's in her own league,” Raychel spoke up gazing at me I smirked and nodded.

“Queen of scream,” I gazed up as Niki walked in with more alcohol and food.

“Yeah?” She questioned.

“You win,”

“At?” She questioned sitting down between Sarah and I.

“Being the loudest, disturbing everyone else's sleep, pissing people off by the constantly screaming? Need I go on?” Taylor asked as the smirk grew even bigger on her lips; she was proud of her title.

“You know it bitch,”

“Congrats,” I smiled leaning back on the chair as the group started talking again. I kind of zoned out, I had a lot on my mind and none of it was willing to move on. Sarah had dragged me out of the house, after Raychel decided we would meet up at hers. Obviously her house because there was no chance the guys would be there. At least I had the girls to keep me in the loop with the latest gossip. Or at least I would have them when I started paying a bit more attention. At the moment gossip was really the last thing I cared about.

Padge said he'd meet up with me this afternoon and we'd talk again, I got the feeling the girls knew about this as well cause they hadn't once asked how I was coping without Padge. Every other time the girls had met up they'd questioned me, but this time not a word.

My gaze fell on the dvd player, mainly the time display, I'd been here an hour and still hadn't really spoken a word.

“So Rhian what you up to this afternoon?” Taylor questioned gazing over at me. I shrugged.

“Just stuff,”

“Don't fancy coming shopping then?” I shock my head with a small apologetic smile.

“I've got to meet up with Hue and Sam,” Sarah raised her eyebrows but didn't say a word. “We havent just hung out in ages,” Sarah this time glared at me, god this was going to take some explaining. “Hue said he asked you,” I mumbled to her, why bother lying?

Because I didn't want the girls to know about Padge.

“Yeah then he said you weren't coming either so him and Sam were going into Cardiff,” Oh she knew. “And on that note I'm gonna get going!” She winked ruffling my hair, just to piss me off. “I'll see you later, and try not tog et your heart broken again, hey ducky?”

“I won't promise,” I smiled, I was pretty sure Sarah wasn't a big fan of Padge at the moment. Not that I blamed her, she didn't know the half of it, but she was right to be worried.

“So Rhian whose is the mystery man?” Niki smirked as I felt my cheeks burn slightly; I hated being caught out. I sighed chewing my lip as all four girls gazed at me with knowing looks.

“Oh you all know,” I muttered as Raychel just looked blankly at them.

“Why would we know?”

“Because he's told you,”

“Who?”

“Pa-” I paused glaring at Taylor who had tried and succeeded in out witting me. The triumphant smirk on her face was telling; they half knew but he hadn't told them, the girls had guessed and tried to get it out of me.

“SO you and Padge, where's that going?”

“Same place as before?” Niki questioned with a little wink. I rolled my eyes and just smiled.

“I'd like to think so but who knows,”

“Well ya don't have to worry about that whore he was banging any more,” Taylor snarled, showing her slightly nasty and unpleasant side.

“Why?” I prompted a little worried she was about to tell me she would be going down for murder.

“She said some stuff about us lot,” Taylor muttered bitterly. “Stuff that she now regrets since I punched her to the floor,” I didn't bother questioning it any further, I didn't want to anger an already slightly pissed off looking Taylor.

“She was bad mouthing you, and Taylor, Raychel and I, to put it simply,” Niki muttered.

“She says beat her to the floor,” Raychel spoke up with a smirk. “Fiona went home with a bloody nose, two cracked ribs, and then queen of bar fights,” She pointed to Niki who just smirked. “Caused the black eye,”

“Oh gosh,” I had to hold back the laughter. “What did Padge say?” The three of them looked around smiling slightly. “Come on what happened?”

“He left,”

“He left,” I repeated. “What just walked out?”

“Yeah seriously, he was all I quit” Taylor did a perfect welsh accent. “And then upped and left!” I just nodded, he was usually so laid back and relaxed, the moment he walks out of somewhere is a defiant sign he's pissed off. “It was pretty wow,” She added.

“M thoughts exactly, and how did she take it?” Taylor just laughed.

“Not good, she went to hospital, but not making a complaint against me in fear I'd actually kill her,”

“Oh lovely,” I mumbled pausing as I felt my phone go if in my pocket, the little message sound that followed caught everyone's attention.

“Ooo I bet it's Padge,” Raychel smirked as her and Niki gaze over my shoulder watching my phone. “Knew it!” She shrieked as Padge's name flashed up and one knew message.

Hey trouble. We really need to catch up. This afternoon still ok? xxx

I smiled but instantly turned red when I realised the girls were reading over my shoulder.

“Oh that's so cute!” Raychel laughed gazing up at me. “Text him back!”

“Alright, give me a chance,” I laughed back noticing a smile on Niki's lips. “What?”

“Aww he's falling for you all over again! You two will be back before you know it sug!” I shrugged, not wanting any false hope, there was a chance it would never happen again. This was my a level year, I fuck this up and I wouldn't get to university, was I that willing to get back with Padge after I failed last year?

Hey! And yeah 1.30? Sounds good, still meeting at yours? xxx

“Right however much I love gossiping with you lot I need to get going,” The three of them just rolled their eyes.

“Are we not good enough for you then?”

“Obviously not Tay, I mean we don't have what Padge has to offer,” Raychel smirked.

“And on that note I am going!”

“Have fun!” I heard Raychel shout, but ignored the more crude comments from a hysterical Niki and Taylor.

As I walked back to my house I let my thoughts about Padge and I enter the front of my head. There was. of course, two sides to my argument. One, I wanted to get back with him because I loved him and always had done. But then I could hear my mums, Padge's, and Taylor's voice in the back of my head; this is the most important year and looking at last years exam results am I willing to risk that happening all over again for a chance of being in love.

It was the old, head vs. heart argument.

I wasn't sure which would win.
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Sorry it took a while.
Took a break from becoming an expert on all things Bach to update....ugh back to the creepy composer now...I hate revision!!!!
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