If You Say Goodbye Today

Franks P.O.V.

I made my way back out to my car, still a bit shaky.

I'd gone over to Mikey's to just talk to someone. Not really about Gerard, and what was happening, but just to talk. About anything and everything, life, family, Gerard, the weather, Alicia, books, television, you name it, it was talked about. Just kind of a guys night, to use a platitude.

We talked and joked around, Terminator 2, and the Texas Chainsaw Massacre on the television screen with the volume down, but loud enough that when we stopped talking there wouldn't be some kind of awkward silence between us, and we could just focus on the movie until one of us thought of something to say.

It was really kind of interesting because I was actually feeling a bit funny after walking out into the chilled night air. Was it just that I'd loaded everything out into the open air, and I was feeling literally lighter? Or was it because of the few beers Mikey offered me, and I guzzled down without a second thought?

I really never drank for Gerard's sake, but he'd really placated his craving for defiance, hadn't he? It didn't matter now. I shuddered, and shook my head, unlocking my car, opening the door, and settling into the drivers seat, both hands on the wheel, forcing myself to adjust to the new waves of dizzyness that washed over me.

I ran a hand through my hair, and willed myself to start the engine. I reached for the key that was inevitably resting in the ignition, just needing one little turn to make the engine purr, and run rampant for me. I half turned it a few times, knowing I'd make the inner workings of the car go haywire eventually, but the sounds and the lights that came with each turn were entertaining somehow.

The engine eventually caught and got started, so I proceeded to back out of the driveway and make my way to fuck knows where?

Skillfully, I managed to retrieve the case of CD's I have stashed in the glove compartment, and managed to get a Smashing Pumpkins album into the player.

I continued maneuvering the car along the basically empty road, it being just a long stretch of land ahead, the occasional car passing. I continued singing along to the album, turning the already loud volume even louder, and subconsciously raising the speedometer number by number.

When that disk ended, I reached for the case, but it was perched oddly on the dash, and it fell onto the floor around the passenger seat. Checking my mirrors, and making sure no one was coming, I leaned over, and used the gas pedal to extend myself to reach the case, and getting my hand caught on the inside of the steering wheel, jerking it, and consequentially jerking the car.