Born for This

Chapter Twelve: Save Us

xXShayne’s POVXx

“Hey Shayne!” someone called. “Wait up!”

I turned around slowly, just in time for Czaree to swing her arm around my neck, pulling me to face front again and walk with her down the hall. I turned and gave a meek smile. “Hey.” I said. She looked at me and smiled widely. I turned to face forward. Her face dropped.

“Hey, you know what you need?” she exclaimed. She pulled her arm off of my shoulder and pulled me out of the hallway traffic to her locker.

“What?”

“Well, Mo and Jules are having a party at their house this weekend. Their parents are away and already gave the ‘Go Ahead’. It’s just gonna be us, their cousin Jakob, and Emi’s bringing a close friend who’s visiting for the holidays.” The mention of a far away friend made my throat close up. I gulped. “So what do you say? Are you up for it?”

I stood for a minute, deep in thought. Should I go? I didn’t see why not. After all, I’d known these people for a good couple of months now. Going to their party was the least I could do. Who knows? Maybe it would take my mind of things...

“Sure.” I answered. “When is it?”

Czaree cheered and wrapped herself around me tightly. Two kids passed by in uniform, glaring and whispering to themselves. Czaree pulled away and shouted after them, but they were long gone. She turned to me again and smiled, and graciously told me the information. Then, she made her way to Biology and I barely made it to Studio Art on the third floor.

The day zoomed by, and soon enough, the week was gone and Friday night was upon me. I spent a good hour getting ready, putting on the right amount of makeup and draping myself in purple zebra stripes and gray and black houndstooth. I put a lace headband in my hair. And after all that was done, Mom dropped me off at the Cross’s humble home, just ten minutes away.

Mom was on a call, and therefore, wouldn’t hear my weak “Goodbye”. I chose to wave, in which she motioned me to get out of the car. I stepped onto the sidewalk, and, before the passenger door could fully close, she sped off back home. I watched after her a minute, and then went right up the walkway to the front door.

Mo answered the door, her curly hair tamed to be straight, and her sweater neatly smoothed over. She wrapped me in a hug and pulled me inside. I took off my Converse as I walked in, out of habit, and followed Mo into the parlor, where everyone was seated on the floor. I took a seat between Czaree and some girl I didn’t really know, who was talking to Julie’s cousin Jakob.

“Shay,” Czaree started. I turned to her. She motioned next to me. “This is who I was telling you about. This is Em’s friend from New Hampshire, Sakura.” I looked over at her. At that point, Sakura was now facing me. She had tiny rouge colored lips against fair, perfectly porcelain, skin. Her jet colored hair was to her waist, and perfectly straight. But none of that mattered. What got me was her eyes.

They were childishly big, but perfectly angled, making her look very wise, but deep in thoughts. The pupils were like black holes, sucking me in. And the irises. They were perfectly gold, with blue and green flecks. They moved up and down over me, and finally, the tiny smile appeared, subtle and cute.

“Sakura,” Czaree started, “This is the great and wonderful Shayne.”

“It’s nice to meet you.” she told me. Her voice was high and excited, but gentle, like the lake where Frankie and I used to play together on cloudy- Oh. Never mind.

“N-Nice to meet you too.” I stuttered. She smiled again.

The evening was fun-filled and somewhat peaceful. We played board games, like Twister and Trivial Pursuit. We played a good round of video games that involved zombie thrashing, cooking, and controlling people we made to look like us. We got some good laughs. We were happy together.

As the party continued, some of Jakob’s friends showed up, just to keep him company. There were three of them, Harrison, Brian, and David. They all sat down in a circle with us after Jakob introduced them all. Jakob sat closer to Brian than Harrison and David were sitting, giving me the impression they liked each other. It made my face heat up, reminding me of my recent dreams over the past two months. I was having them at least once a week now, and every time, I woke up crying. Alex heard me a few times, but never brought it up. She didn’t want to be too involved in my personal problems. She wanted to give me space after that first night. She now talked to this boy she liked on the phone at night, to keep her mind at bay.

As we sat in the circle, we were all discussing what to do next. Kelly suggested we watch a movie from Mo and Julie’s extensive collection. Harrison suggested we played some dance music on the stereo. David jokingly suggested we played strip poker. We all threw pillows and chocolate kisses in his direction.

Finally, after David stopped complaining about all the chocolate that went down his new sweatshirt, Czaree suggested we play Truth or Dare. She said that if one was to do a dare, they couldn’t back out. Period. End of story. Everyone agreed, and I prayed no one would ask me about a crush or anything pertaining to my love life.

Kelly ran off and grabbed an empty green tea bottle. She placed it into the middle and walked back to her seat between Brian and Sakura, across from me in the circle. We all then wrote our names down on paper and placed the pieces into Jakob’s beanie. When it went full circle, Jakob pulled out Mo’s name, and she went first.

Jakob asked her, “Truth or Dare?”

She said, “Truth.”

“What is your guilty pleasure?”

She thought for a minute. She answered, “Disco music.”

That got a few giggles.

Mo spun the bottle next, and it landed on Kelly, whom, of course, chose to do a dare. The dare was something ridiculous like putting on Jakob’s beanie while the paper was still in it. A couple of people giggled as the paper fell to the floor. Kelly kept Jakob’s hat on after that, giving him a big, childish, “Who has your hat now” smile.

I watched the bottle with weary eyes, still praying it wouldn’t land on me. It barely missed me several times, but still, I was yet to have a turn, which kept me content. Near the end of the game though, David spun and it landed on me. I gulped as he turned to me. I was now sweating bullets, apprehensive and shaking. He smiled at me, to try and calm me. I shook more.

“Shayne, is it?” he asked. I nodded. “Truth or Dare?”

Scared, and avoiding questions, I said, “Dare.”

He thought for a minute and then looked up. “I dare you to kiss....” I gulped as his eyes scaled the room for the perfect person for me to lock lips with. He smiled as he found someone. “Sakura! You have to kiss Sakura for...... three minutes.”

My eyes widened as I looked at Sakura. She sat up a little and put down her the glass she was drinking out of. She got on all fours and took one step towards me. My body tensed. Luckily, Czaree spoke up and said something. “Wait!” she started. Sakura and I both froze to look at her. “Shay shouldn’t have to do this if she’s not comfortable. Neither should Sakura. Besides, you’re probably only doing it to prove whether or not Shay likes girls or not probably! Therefore, do to the situation, Shayne shouldn’t have to play tonsil hockey with anyone if she doesn’t want to.”

“No! She has to!”

“No, she doesn’t.”

“No,” Mo started. We all turned to her. “He’s right Czar-Czar. She has to. You said yourself that no one could back out of a dare, no matter what the circumstance! You can’t go back on your own word, love. That goes against everything you stand for.”

“I know!” Czaree exclaimed. “But I didn’t think anyone would actually do something like this! It isn’t fair to Shay.”

“Then it’s not fair to the rest of us that we couldn’t back out at the last minute. It’s not fair to Julie, who had to eat wet looseleaf paper. It’s not fair to Jake, who kissed Brian ten minutes ago.” Jake blushed a little, but smiled. “Czar, it’s too late! If Shay is willing to change to Truth, then that we’ll look over, but otherwise, nothing changes.”

“But Jake liked-” Czaree stopped herself and sighed. She turned to me. “Sorry to put the pressure on you,” she joked. No one laughed. She coughed to clear her throat and sat back in her spot, for she had stood up to stand up for me. “Shay, do you wanna switch?” I thought for a minute, looking down at my hands in my lap. “If you switch to Truth, you can’t go back to Dare. And if you choose to stay, the dare will stand as is.” I remained silent. “Well? What do you say?”

I really gave it thought, and honestly, I would rather have a kiss that meant nothing rather than have anyone find the skeletons in my closet. I nodded aimlessly, even though is wasn’t a “yes” or “no” question.

“I’ll go through with it.” I told her. “It’s fine.”

David sat there, fiddling his thumbs and said, “I’ll reduce the time by a minute.”

“Okay,” she replied, sitting on her knees. She placed her hands in her lap. “Then there’s nothing I can do.” I smiled at her to thank her for at least attempting to save me from complete and utter embarrassment.

Sakura started to crawl towards me as I crawled towards her. We met in the middle, both leaning on their knees. She leaned in that little bit more and smiled at me. I shut my eyes quickly as my face heated up. She chuckled a little and kissed my temple. Then my cheek. Then my nose. And finally, my lips.

Her lips were soft and plump, like ripe cherries. She moved around my mouth gently, waiting for a response. I almost didn’t want to respond. Upon impact, I remembered this was my first kiss.

I moved anyway, just going along with her tiny mouth. I moved my bottom lip up a little bit and opened my mouth for air, only to be greeted by her anxious, but caring, tongue. She moved me closer to her with her graceful fingers, and suddenly, I felt pressure against my tongue and behind my teeth. I lifted my head up and a subtle moan escaped my throat. I strained to hold them back, but it was no use. I was in my own world, where a different girl was kissing me. Another girl....

I pulled away as it hit Sakura and everyone else what had happened. Sakura looked at me with vacant eyes. I covered my mouth to restrain a sob caught in my throat. Tears began to fill up my eyes.

“Shay....” Czaree started. “Um, I don’t mean to intrude, but, um.... who’s-”

Before she could finish I ran upstairs to the bathroom Mo and Julie shared. I sprinted into the dark room, throwing on the lights and locking the door behind me. I slid down the closed door and started crying. The kind of crying that wreaks havoc on your body and mind, killing you from the inside out. The kind of crying that makes it hurt to breathe, and also, makes you forget how. The kind of cry someone needs once in a while.

There was a knock at the door. “Shay...” they started. It was Czaree. “Look, I’m real sorry love. You have to understand I couldn’t do anything! I tried to stop it! I really did! Please, just come out. We’ll talk about this.”

“Fuck you!” I screamed. “You didn’t do anything!”

Czaree sighed a tiny sob. I heard her run down the stairs, and immediately regretted what I had said. I wanted to get up and run after her, but my body was weak from crying, trapping me inside the sage and white tile. The fact that I couldn’t run after my new friend killed me, and it made me start to cry harder. I curled up in a ball and buried my face into my knees. I wanted to avoid all contact with the world. It hurt to much to use my senses at this point. So what was the point?

After a long time of learning to breathe, see, and touch again, I weakly picked myself off the floor to wash my face. My makeup was smeared. My lips were swollen to match my eyes. I looked crazy. I turned around and faced the full length mirror against the wall, that was probably used when Mo was straightening her hair. I checked my body. My body was a mess. I unzipped my sweater and examined my stomach. It still had that roll of fat. it was terrible. It made me cry harder.

Suddenly, I was in a haze. My eyes glassed over and I didn’t know what I was doing. My hand floated up to open the medicine cabinet mirror behind me. I reached up and towards the top shelves, where the pills and antiseptic were kept. Suddenly, my hand caught a box that fell to the floor. Shiny pieces of metal flew out. I picked one up and twirls it around on my finger tips. I looked up into the eyes of the ugly girl’s eyes. She took the metal from my hands and moved sideways, taking the edge to her hip. She made a small slice on the pale skin.

And it oozed crimson.

And I had a scar to match.