Born for This

Chapter Three: Things I’ll Never Say

xXShayne’s POVXx

Frankie and I walked for about twenty minutes until we reached the suspended field behind the old church. We hadn’t been there since last November, when the grass was dry and the flowers were long dead. Now, being early July, the crosanthimums were now back in full bloom and the grass was a decent shade of lime. Frankie gestured over to one of the church’s many benches, for this had once been the courtyard, and we both sat down.

For about five minutes, silence loomed over us. Frank traced the patterns the scratched on the iron bench arm made. I sat and fiddled with my small hands. I knew ?I had to tell her first. I’ve known her since we were four. Why shouldn’t I tell her?

“Frankie?” I started.

She turned. “Yeah?”

All of a sudden, my face started heating up. My hands went over my burning red cheeks immediately. God, why do I have to be showing that I’m scared and embarrassed? Shit, this is so hard. Just let it out Shayne. Let it out.

“Shayne,” Frankie sighed, “What’s wrong?”

I remained silent for the two minutes it took for my face to cool down. I didn’t realize Frankie said anything until she gave me a ‘Did you hear me?’ look. I took a deep breath in, held it, and let it out. It’s time to tell her.

“Nothing,” I replied, answering her question. “I’ve just had a lot on my mind.”

Frankie raised a brow at me. “You wanna talk about it?”

She always asked that. No matter what it was, she always asked if I wanted to talk about it. And usually, I said no. But today, today was different. There’s was something that needed to be said.

“Yes,” I told her, which threw her completely off.

“Okay,” she started shakily, “What is it that’s bothering you?”

“It’s not that it’s bothering me,” I explained, “It’s just... it’s been on my mind quite a lot.”

“What is it?”

“Well,” I took a breath. It’s now or never. “I’ve been asking myself something for a few months now. Since February actually. And I found my answer last night.”

“What was your answer?” Frankie asked, not even asking about the question. Does she get it?

“Frankie,” I started, “Can you keep a secret?”

Of course Shayne,” she answered, taking my hand and giving me a concerned smile, “Now please, tell me what’s going on.”

“Frankie,” I gulped down tears, “I’m bi.”

“What?” she asked. Oh no, she hates me!

I don’t know what happened next, but I started crying hysterically. Frankie wrapped her thin arms around me, pulling me close. She gently ran her fingers through my hair, and rocked me back and forth. “Shayne, please calm down,” she cooed, “I didn’t hear you. Can you please tell me again?”

I sat up and wiped the tears off my face. Well this was a little... melodramatic. But still. I’m an emotional person, so doesn’t crying make sense? If you think about it, it does.

“Frankie,” I started, wiping away tears as they fell down my cheeks. “I’m bi...”

Frankie didn’t say anything for a couple of seconds. My hands shook with fear and an overdose on caffeine this morning. I gulped nervously. Suddenly, Frankie stood up and said, “Thank you.”

“What?” I asked. I was completely lost.

“Wasn’t I the first you came out to?” she asked. I nodded. “I thought so. I feel honored that I was the first. So, thanks.”

“Um,” I thought for a moment, “You’re welcome?”

At that, we both laughed. Frankie held her hand out to me and pulled me off the bench. “You know you can tell me anything, right?” Frankie asked me. I smiled and nodded. “Good.” She looked over to edge of the cliff from where we stood a good five feet away. The park was pretty much right below us, along with the town. We could see someone waiting there. A boy. A familiar boy.

“Come on,” Frankie said, running ahead a few steps, “Let’s go!!!”

I nodded and hurried up alongside my best friend. I’m so glad I came out to her. If I didn’t, I’d still have too much to handle. From being on my toes from bad memories, to questioning myself, I can only say one thing:

Thank God for Frankie!