I'd Kiss You Goodbye If I Thought It Would Make You Stay

I wanna go where everyone goes. I wanna know what everyone knows. I wanna go where everyone feels the same.” – Panic at the Disco

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All the guys are coming with to drive me to the airport, which is good, because I don’t have to carry any of my bags and because the long ride to O’Hare is always boring without them.

I hug Sisky, Butcher, William, Jack, Mike goodbye, even though I’ll see them again in a week or so. I’ve already said my goodbyes to my parents last night; we had all gone for dinner at their house, and I had even cleared up mine and Michael’s relationship to my mother, who thankfully didn’t make a huge deal about it.

I have to resist the urge to kiss Michael as I hug him too.

And that’s all I do. I can’t ruin the terms we had been on since we talked, and I can’t put myself out there so soon. I don’t trust myself with him yet.

“Bye,” I say, practically having to pry myself from his arms.

“Bye,” he says back, looking as if he’d like to say something else.

Instead, he lets me go and I continue through security and to my boarding gate.

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“Rae-rae-rae,” Jude sings, happily hugging me as I arrive with my bags to greet them after landing in L.A.

Seb picks me up in a hug and refuses to put me down, slinging me over his shoulder.

I hate when people do that. The only traits William and I share are our brown hair, ability for writing lyrics and singing, and being as thin as a stick. It’s really not my fault. Me and William even tried going on a reverse diet once. It didn’t work. On the other hand, I’m pretty short compared to him, which tends to give people like Seb, Jude, and Sisky the advantage of me weighing virtually nothing to pick me up without my consent.

I don’t bother to complain for once and let him carry me over to where Suzie is waiting for us. I vaguely wonder where Wes is, but he’s probably off doing tour manager stuff.

Suzie’s so happy that she’s hugging the life out of me as soon as he puts me down.

“We missed you!” she exclaims, and I know she means that in more ways than the obvious one. I laugh.

“Well, I’m back now, and back to normal, so don’t worry,” I say, letting go.

“Great,” Seb says, slinging an arm around mine and Suzie’s shoulders and leading us to the parking lot with Jude trailing behind with my stuff. “Let’s go out to dinner,” he suggests, unlocking his car. We all pile in, and it finally feels like old times again.

“Somewhere cheap where we can mess around?” I ask hopefully.

“Duh,” Jude states, sliding into the backseat with me while Suzie rides shot gun.

We pull up to our favorite food stop, which is conveniently located near all of our apartments.

We all order our usual, making small talk while we wait for our food, and watch Jude flirt with the waitresses that pass by, not to mention laugh when he gets denied.

“How are the guys?” Jude asks me, as he aims an ice chip at a group of nearby teenagers. It lands in some girl’s hair. “Yes!” he exclaims, high-fiving Seb enthusiastically.

“Jude!” Suzie scolds, hitting his arm.

“What?” he askes innocently, turning his attention back to the table. I smile, rolling my eyes.

“The guys are good,” I reply, answering his original question.

Everything is back to normal.

Well…for the most part.