I'd Kiss You Goodbye If I Thought It Would Make You Stay

“I need to find a way, I need to find a reason. I need to find a place to rest my head and bring your heart back to my bed, I’m all for you.” – New Years Day

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It’s a few days later, and I’m chewing my nails apprehensively as the plane is landing.

William called this morning to tell me he would be picking me up, but he didn’t mention anything about any of the guys coming along, or Michael, for that matter.

William, Jack, and Sisky are there to greet me when I leave the gate with my two large suitcases. I didn’t bring much besides clothes with me; some of my things are at Suzie’s back in L.A. I had decided to buy new furniture here for my apartment instead of dealing with the hassle of driving everything from California.

I hide my disappointment that Michael isn’t here and smile widely at the three of them.

“Where’s everyone else?” I ask casually, but William gives me a knowing look before answering my question.

“Butcher and Mike went to a show tonight. Michael was…busy today.”

I sigh a little in relief that Michael’s still in the city, for now, at least.

“He’s staying with me and Jason,” Sisky pipes up, as him and Jack each grab a suitcase and we follow William outside and to the parking lot.

“Are you hungry?” William asks me.

“Yes,” Jack replies for me. I smile and nod in agreement.

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Michael

I’m pacing the length of Sisky and Jason’s living room nervously.

I was supposed to go pick up Rae with Jack, William, and Sisky, but I chickened out.

I look up as Jason enters the room, adjusting the sleeves of his button-down shirt.

“Hot date,” he smirks, answering my unasked question.

I force myself to stop pacing and sit down on the couch, grabbing the remote and flipping through the channels aimlessly.

“You’re not going out tonight?” he questions, when I don’t say anything.

“I was supposed to go with everyone to pick up Rae,” I inform him, shaking my head.

“And you didn’t because…” he trails off, waiting for my answer as he puts on his shoes.

“I…I’m not sure,” I reply helplessly, still staring at the screen, which I admittedly have no genuine interest in. He gives a single, short laugh.

“Dude. You got it bad,” he states simply.

“I know,” I agree, sighing.

“So then what are you waiting for?” she asks.

I have no straight answer, and he eventually leaves for his date, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

What am I waiting for?

She’s the only reason I’m still in Chicago.

Why would I willingly be somewhere she’s not?

What am I waiting for?