I'd Kiss You Goodbye If I Thought It Would Make You Stay

“When you go away, I get so low. Like temperatures when they’re at their coldest. When you go away, I get so lonely, and I’m stranded by the side of the bed.” – The Starting Line

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“What time is it?” she yawns, climbing into bed beside me after we dress again.

I admit; we’ve been making up for lost time with these few nights we have together.

“Three,” I answer, pulling her close and kissing the side of her head. “You should get some sleep,” I point out. She’ll be on a flight to L.A. in little over five hours.

“I’m not even tired. I’ll sleep on the plane,” she insists stubbornly, hiding another yawn as she buries her face in my shirt and wraps an arm around my waist. We fall silent and I listen to her breathe peacefully.

“I love you,” I murmur into her hair. The only response I get is her soft, barely audible breathing.

I resist the impulse to laugh; of course, she’s fallen asleep within minutes of her stubborn insistence.

I don’t mind; having her here next to me is enough. I automatically begin running my fingers through her already tousled hair, closing my eyes as well.

I soon fall asleep to the warmth of her smooth skin on mine and the soft patter of raindrops against the window.

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I bite my bottom lip as I look up at him. Most of me just wants to take him back to the bedroom for an encore of last night, but I have a plane to catch, so I settle for a long kiss.

I eagerly deepen it, but after a few minutes he gently detaches himself from my lips.

I look up at him in confusion.

“Keep going and I might not let you leave,” he replies, giving a soft laugh and pulling me back to his chest for a hug. I sigh, leaning into him comfortably.

I slightly dread the upcoming months; as soon as I get back to Chicago, we have a few more days together, then he’s off on another tour with the guys for a bit while I’m going to be busy doing promotional things with the band until next month, when Sub, Jude, Suzie, and I go on Warped Tour for the entire summer.

“Ready?” he asks, sighing.

“No,” I answer, but allow him to grab my small suitcase and lead me out the door regardless.

We’re silent for most of the long drive in traffic north to O’Hare, but I don’t mind.

I watch the raindrops race down the windows as Michael takes my hand in his. I squeeze his hand, and he takes a second to smile at me.

We arrive at the boarding gate with a few minutes to spare.

I kiss him one last time and he pulls me into a hug before releasing me. I head through the security gate, turning to give him a final wave.

I carry his wave and smile with me as I board the airplane with the reassurance that we’ll be reunited by the end of the week.

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“Rae!” Suzie and Jude exclaim simultaneously, jumping up from Seb’s couch and rushing to the door to give me hugs.

Seb enters behind me, dragging my small suitcase inside.

It’s a relief to be shooting the video in L.A.; it’s my second home, and we’re going to catch up with old friends tomorrow when we start filming. Also, we’d gotten hold of our friend that had directed two of our music videos from our first album to help us with this one.

But tonight, we just relax, eat junk food, and mess around at Seb’s apartment, as we tend to do upon our reunions.

Seb retires to his bedroom as it gets considerably late and Jude to the guest room as Suzie and I take the couches. Jude, being the gentleman he is, “called dibs” on the extra bed shortly after my arrival, but Suzie and I don’t mind; it gives us opportunity for girl talk.

“So I hear from a little bird that you and Chizzy have fucking finally gotten back together?” she demands, as soon as we’re comfortably settled on the couches with pillows and blankets.

“Did this ‘bird’ happen to be named Adam T. Siska or Andrew Mrotek?” I question, raising my eyebrows and lifting my head to look at her. She laughs.

“Nope. The one and only Beckett Williams,” she replies. “So I was wondering…why the hell am I last to know?!” she demands in a not-so-quiet whisper. In fact, she pretty much yelled it.

“Sorry, Suze. Just…a lot of stuff was going on, I mean-” I begin, referring to Michael’s accident, and realizing that I’d been so preoccupied spending time with Michael that I’d neglected to call her and forgot to tell her about it when she called me last week.

“Oh, right. Make-up sex,” she nods knowingly.

“Suzie!” I blush, shaking my head at my incredibly blunt best friend.

“Don’t pretend it’s not true,” she argues nonchalantly, and I don’t bother for once.

“What about you?” I prod.

“My love-life? Non-existent,” she groans, covering her face at the reminder. “Alex is back with his girlfriend,” she informs me suddenly. I roll my eyes; she’s been holding out on the hope that Alex would leave his girlfriend for good so she can flirt with him to her heart’s content without the guilt.

“Mike doesn’t have a girlfriend,” I blurt out before I can help myself.

“Rachel…” she groans, rolling her eyes at me. “Not this again.”

“You know Mike’s a great guy,” I continue.

“I’m just saying-” she begins.

“I’m just saying,” I interrupt, catching her off guard. After all, she’s usually the one interrupting me. “Mike really likes you, and it’s not like you’d be shooting yourself in the foot by just giving the poor guy a chance.”

She falls silent, and I can’t see her in the dark. I half regret bringing it up and hope she’s not mad at me.

“I’ll think about it,” she says finally, a few minutes later.