It's Really Happening

I slowly walked down the hall, keeping one hand on the wall to ease my dizziness. Luckily the booth hadn’t been locked and I had the good sense to stop hollering before I passed out. I walked straight through the house to the kitchen, where Abby had been joined by Couch and Alex, and ignoring the other two, I hugged Abby tightly.

“I’m very sorry I had to do that,” I muttered, pulling back.

“Don’t be,” Abby sighed. “He’s the one who should be sorry.”

I rolled my eyes, laughing slightly as I hugged Tiffany as well. “After what I said to him, he’d better be.” I sighed and rubbed my eyes; when I opened them, Alex was standing there with his arms open. I considered him a moment. “Ah, what the hell.”

Alex gives good hugs.

“Hey, d’you know where—Oh.” I looked over Alex’s shoulder to find Zack in the doorway. “There you are.”

“Why’s your face all red?” Jack asked, strolling in and grabbing a beer from the fridge.

I touched my face sheepishly and sidestepped to kiss Zack on the cheek. “Has anyone ever told you that you lack tact?” Abby asked, chuckling.

“The fuck’s tact?” He cracked the bottle and I deftly swiped it out of his hand on the way to hopping up on the counter beside Abby. “Hey, that was mine!”

“Dude, were you just in the same room as I was?” Rian asked, joining us in our kitchen party. “You really wanna mess with her after that?” Jack looked at me, arching an eyebrow at him as I swigged down half the bottle, and shook his head, diving back into the fridge.

“Seriously, that was one of the scarier things I’ve ever witnessed,” Alex confessed.

I rolled my eyes to the ceiling innocently and returned my lips to the bottle. Abby leaned her head on my shoulder. “Even though we know you’re actually a nice person,” she added. I smiled. I was there to tell her fiancé that he was a spineless goon and she was there to reassure me I wasn’t a psycho hose beast. “Alex ordered Chinese.”

“So what’s the plan for tonight?” Couch asked with a wide grin.

We all thought for a moment. I hopped down to the floor and set my empty beer on the table. “Gentlemen, ladies,” I announced. “Let’s get wasted.” That got cheers and rousing support. “But not in the kitchen.”

“Did you just chug that?” Jack asked as we migrated back to the living room. I pressed a finger to my lips, grinning.

We decided, after a few minutes of stunted conversation, that a movie drinking game was in order. While Rian and Jack went to collect booze and shot glasses, Tiffany and Abby went to pick a DVD. I rolled my head onto Zack’s shoulder. “Would you be horribly offended if I paid more attention to my best friend tonight?” I asked quietly.

He thought for a moment. “You’ve been doing that all weekend,” he pointed out.

“Well, yeah…” I licked my lips. “But under the circumstances…” Zack half-nodded. “Plus I think the guilt of cussing out her fiancé might kill me.” He laughed and planted a kiss on the side of my head.

“Billy Madison!” Couch exclaimed, waving the plastic box around, at the same time Jack bounded in with his arms full.

“I just got a great idea!” Alex cried once we’d set everything up. “Shot every time someone swears!”

“Uh, how about when someone says fuck?” Tiffany suggested instead. “Some of us are kind of small.”

“And cannot hold their liquor,” Abby added with a grin. She swatted at Couch’s hand that tried to smack her.

“Done.” Alex poured out the whisky into the glasses. “By the way, you just said it. Drink up!”

I glanced around at everyone after taking the shot. “This is going to be a long night, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, but we probably won’t remember it,” Rian replied.

The Chinese arrived soon enough after we started the movie, which gave some of us the opportunity to get food in our stomachs to prepare for the onslaught of alcohol. I sat on the floor poking around my orange chicken and snickering at the boys talking about their deep connection to this movie.

Yeah, we were all amazed they’d graduated high school too.

Around the time Billy got to college, Zack tapped me on the shoulder and handed me my iPhone, which I’d given him for safe-keeping. I frowned slightly, but he simply went back to eating, so I examined my phone and found I had a text. From whom, I had no idea.

“Hey,” I said, holding the screen out to Alex, sitting across the table from me, “Do you know who this number is?” He looked at it a moment before shrugging. “You’re no help, Alexander. Abby?”

She leaned forward and peered over my shoulder. After a second her expression brightened. “It’s Dave!”

I rolled my eyes. “Prob’ly stole my number from Jimmie,” I muttered, opening the text. Wtf is going on? How delightfully vague! I wrote back, asking what he meant and oh thanks for telling me who this was, Dave.

Alex shot me a curious look and I just rolled my eyes. I was done being angry for the night. Luckily someone in the cast said fuck, so we all had to drink. Abby was getting giggly and Tiffany was already drunk, despite both having switched off hard liquor.

I leaned against Zack’s knee as I picked up my phone again. Josh is flipping out 4 no reason cursing your name an throwing shit, whatd u do?

I was tempted to reply, “He knows I’m right,” but that would probably just lead to more questions. Make sure he doesnt break anything and let him get it out. He’ll get over it.

When the movie ended, we hardly noticed. We all were laughing too hard about the story Rian was telling. Then Jack declared, “I am not drunk enough! We need to play a game!” And the only game that would do was, of course, I Never.

“I have never sworn in front of my parents,” Rian said about ten minutes in. Of course, everyone else except Zack had.

“You fucking boyscouts, Jesus,” Couch laughed, poking Rian’s cheek.

“Hey, I like my fucking boyscout, thank you very much!” I retorted. I turned around and smiled at Zack. “Not that I don’t know better.” He smiled back and tapped his lips.

Abby was next, and she had to think for a while before she came up with something. “I have… never flashed someone,” she said, “In public.”

“You just want me drunk, don’t you?” Tiffany slurred, reaching for her beer. Alex and Jack both took shots too, which surprised nobody.

“Please, like you need the help,” Abby laughed as Rian gathered his girlfriend/ fuck puppet/ whatever Couch was into his lap. “You’re up, Merrick.”

Zack took a deep breath and let it out. “I have never scammed on my friend’s girl,” he declared.

I turned around, cocking an eyebrow at him. That was oddly emphatic. As was the expression on his face. I noticed that everyone else was giving him strange looks as well, but couldn’t help but laugh when Jack, Tiffany, and Alex drank.

“Jeez, you guys are such whores,” I joked. I turned to Abby for confirmation to find her cheeks turning crimson; I smiled at everyone else, hoping I was the only one to notice.

“Okay, I know you guys are whores…” Tiffany said, waving a hand at Jack and Alex, “But I didn’t think you were that bad…”

Rian said something about telling her some tour stories sometime, and Alex was quick to retort with something, but I was looking slowly back and forth between Jack and Abby, who were apparently having a “Who can have the most awkward expression?” competition.

After a few passes, a thought surfaced in a bubble out of my drunken haze and I carefully bit down on my lip to keep any words in. Instead, I grabbed the almost-empty bottle and poured a shot. “Alex!”

Everyone in the room stopped what they were doing. Maybe I shouldn’t have slapped my hand on the table. I held out the glass. “Drink this and stop staring at Tiffany’s rack.” After a second, he cracked up, soon followed by others, and took the shot.

I glanced over at Abby, who mouthed ‘thanks’. I nodded and got myself another drink.

The next morning, my head was an overripe watermelon about to be sledge-hammered by the first noise to come along, and I realised if I felt like that… the morning was not going to be pleasant. I winced as I raised my head off Zack’s chest. When had we passed out on the couch? What had we all been doing last night?

…Whose shirt was I wearing?

I wormed my way out of Zack’s grip—he was oddly possessive in his sleep—and tiptoed over Jack and around the room, looking for my shoes. Strangely I found them on top of the refrigerator, but decided to just leave them there. Instead I sat down at the kitchen table and covered my eyes. The night before got fuzzy after our game, with patches of random moments.

I remembered Jack betting me he could fit more gummy bears in his mouth than I could. I remembered that… Abby had made up a song about zebras. I laughed to myself. Alex had pulled a lounge lizard act on the pool table… and then fallen off.

Which explained why he was passed out underneath it.

Something clicked and I dropped my hands, only to throw them back up with a groan. “Sorry,” Rian said, turning the lights back off. I cautiously peered out from under my hands and watched him pull one of the white paper boxes out of the fridge. “Bad hangover?”

“Nah,” I half-croaked, “Just… trying to remember last night. The fuck did we do?”

“Got waaay too drunk.” He sat down across from me and began eating, while I just sat there, trying to piece together my memory. “You didn’t do anything stupid.” I opened one eye. “Mostly you just laughed at everyone else’s stupidity.”

I gave a lazy grin. “Oh good. Nothing unusual.” I straightened up and pulled at my collar. “By the way, whose is this?”

Rian blinked a few times as he chewed. “I have no idea,” he admitted. I sighed, and he laughed. “There are like three of those shirts floating around.”

“Fucking Glamour Kills,” I muttered amusedly. Rian continued eating, and I watched him for a few minutes before jerking to my feet. “I’m making you breakfast.” He frowned and pointed at the chow mein with his fork, and I snatched it away, returning it to the fridge. “Honey, that is not breakfast.”

As I suspected, I had to rummage around the kitchen to find decent materials and ingredients, but they did have a few eggs and some bacon; I also found a pan in a cabinet, along with a spatula.

“You’re gonna be one of those moms who feeds everyone all the time, aren’t you?” Rian joked.

I glanced over my shoulder and shook my head. That would require being a mom, I observed in my head. “So this thing with you and Tiffany. How’s that going?” Rian didn’t say anything, and I didn’t turn away from the stove, but after I set the bacon on the sizzling pan, I turned my eyes up. “I’m sorry. That’s a very invasive question.”

“No, no, it’s fine,” he said distractedly. “It’s just…” Rian sighed, and I caught the look of sadness on his face. “I don’t know what we are. We jumped into this really intense thing, and I don’t know if I want to get involved with a girl again, and you know Tiffany, she’s a free spirit and I think to her it’s just a fling.” I set the plate of food down in front of him and he ran a hand over his head. “Sorry. I’m whining.”

“No, you’re not,” I said simply, leaning onto the table. “You’re… unsure. Not knowing is okay.”

Rian looked slightly confused, and I smiled. “What did you say to Josh that pissed him off so much?” he asked, not acknowledging the food.

“I told him to be a man.” He whistled and began eating. I chuckled. “I have no idea why I did that.”

“Because he needed to hear it.” I looked at him, surprised. Rian was always the nice one! Cruel to be kind, I suppose.

“Who needed to hear what?” We both turned to see Abby, hair all askew and eyes half-lidded, in the doorway. I helped her sit down at the table and asked if she wanted some food. “Yes, please.” She hiccupped and rested her head on her arms. “Eris, why are you wearing Alex’s shirt?”

I rolled my eyes in exasperation of myself. “You’ll have to ask him when he climbs out from under the pool table.”

When I set down the glass of water, two aspirin, and trash bin near her, Abby lifted her head, frowning. “…Since when is there a pool table?”

Jack stumbled in when I’d finished making Abby breakfast and wanted some too, but Abby told him they didn’t have any more. “Make some!” he whined. I raised an eyebrow at him and crossed my arms. “Please?”

“Oh my god, Jack, shut up,” Alex moaned, shlepping in and falling into a chair.

“But Eris made Rian and Abby breakfast!”

Alex pouted. “And none for us?”

“You snooze, you lose, kiddo,” I said, shrugging. “Besides, it was a miracle I found those eggs in the first place. You’ve got less food than I do.”

“So go get some more,” Jack said.

“It’s your fucking house, you get some!”

“But I’m hung over!”

“We’re your guests,” Abby pointed out. “Besides, it’s not her fault you passed out.”

I rolled my eyes. “Know what?” I said. “Fuck it. I’ll go to the goddamn store and make your goddamn breakfast.”

Alex gave me his most charming of grins. “I loooooooove you!” he cooed.

“Oh, go fellate a smurf. And get my shoes off the refrigerator.” I walked back into the living room, where Zack was still asleep on the sofa. For a moment I considered letting him sleep, but I thought it’d be worse to not let him know I was leaving.

He groaned in protest without opening his eyes when I climbed back on top of him. “The Blunder Twins are forcing me to make them breakfast, so I have to go to the store,” I whispered in his ear.

“Tell ‘em to make their own fucking breakfast,” Zack muttered, wrapping his arms around me.

I laughed softly. “I did, but I’m going to be nice and do it anyway.” He turned his head and blearily looked at me. “Stay and sleep.” Zack shook his head and allowed me to get up, soon following suit and stretching. Then he rubbed his head and yawned. “Aspirin’s in the kitchen.”

He kissed my cheek. “I love you.” I shook my head, chuckling, as he shuffled out.

Couch was slumped over the table when I re-entered, and Rian was playing with her hair. “Good morning, Princess Hangover,” I greeted.

“Ohmygodfuckyou.”

“So, children, what am I buying?”

Twenty minutes later, Zack and I were pulling a shopping cart out of the long row in front of the supermarket. “I can’t believe you didn’t let me drive,” Zack said, rubbing an eye behind his glasses.

“You know I hate that gigantic monster of a tank you call a car,” I replied mildly, shivering at the super-high air conditioning.

He laughed. “Is that why you threatened to take the keys, steal my floormats, and superglue a hula dancer to the dashboard?” He grabbed a protein shake and tossed it into the cart. “I’m shocked your car even made it down here.”

“Don’t mock the explodey-mobile!”

It was kind of strange, Zack and I grocery shopping together. It was like we were a normal couple who saw each other whenever they wanted. Just on a normal shopping trip, having fun while buying things to cook breakfast together.

Of course, this didn’t occur to me until we got up to the register. The cashier smiled at us—that knowing, approving smile older people always gave young couples—when Zack hugged me from behind, resting his chin on my shoulder. I knew it was supposed to be a good feeling, but it almost made me burst into tears on the spot.

I had the sense of mind to smile and be polite until we packed up the groceries into my trunk. Then I turned around and hugged Zack as tightly as I could.

He stroked my cheek. “What’s up?”

I looked him in the eye, opened my mouth… and suddenly everything sounded so stupid, even in my own head. I laughed, shaking my head slightly. “Nothing.” Zack looked sceptical. I leaned my forehead against his. “I just love you.”

He smiled and planted a light kiss on my lips. “Come on. Let’s get back before Jack and Couch resort to cannibalism.”