It's Really Happening

“For the seventh time in the past ten minutes,” I said, incredibly patiently considering how irked I was, “You can sit on the couch. We did NOT have sex on it.”

“Implying they had sex elsewhere,” Rian said seriously, sitting safely away from the couch.

Abby, sitting in the papasan chair, jumped to her feet and shook herself all over. “Oh, come on!” I groaned, waving my hands. “You guys went to get food! And have you ever tried to have sex in a chair, much less that chair, Miss Dutton?”

“Not this particular chair,” she admitted, sitting on the couch, “But in a chair, yes.”

Zack raised a hand. “Can we not talk about either of your sex lives?” he requested. “Especially since one of them involves me?”

“Okay, totally not comfortable here!” Rian announced.

I grinned at him and shook my head. “I don’t know what you freakin’ rabbits do with your respective… what word am I looking for?” I asked, turning to Abby. “Lovers… partners…relationships…”

“Fuck buddies?”

“…Shut up. Anyway, my point is just because we’re alone for twenty minutes, does not mean we’re all over each other. All the time. ”

Zack cocked his head at me in disbelief. “Babe, you’re rambling." I stared at him blankly for a few moments before realizing that I was. Low blood sugar, probably. I hadn’t eaten since the Chinese food Abby and I got the night before and low blood sugar generally made me act like Barakat.

“Speaking of Bassam,” I said, wandering back in with a large glass of cranberry juice.

“We… weren’t talking about Jack,” Rian said, confused and eying me weirdly. Apparently he didn’t spend enough time with me to remember how spastic I could get.

“I know, but I was thinking about him because whenever I get jittery like this, I act like him.” I sat beside Zack calmly and settled into his shoulder. “But when are the closet lovers getting here again?”

“An hour or so,” Abby said looking at the clock on her cell phone. “Unless their flight is late. Or they get lost. Or distracted by something shiny.”

“Well, if they do,” Rian added, “We can shine a flashlight on your ring and direct them here.” I snickered into my glass while Abby leaned to pinch his side.

Zack was still eying me carefully, probably hoping I was done being a complete freak for a while. “In the meantime… what do we do?”

The four of us looked at each other and around the room, and then while I was playing with a piece of my hair, everyone else decided to look at me. After a moment, I got it and sighed. “I’ll get the cards.”

We started out with poker, because everyone who’s ever been on a tour or put on a show has learned to play poker, but none of us really had any money; playing with pennies got old pretty fast. Then we switched to Hearts, because I’ve loved it since my brother taught me when I was nine, but we stopped because apparently being good counted as cheating. So then it was Bullshit, which is always fun.

Bullshit, on the other hand, always turns into Fuck You I Have Those Cards. And as much as Abby and I adored each other, we were both… aggressive card players.

“You fucking liar!” I accused, laughing. “You put down four cards and just now you showed three!”

“I did not!” she contested, waving them in my face. “I put down three and picked up three! You’re just pissed off because you only had one card left!”

Rian and Zack, apparently, were smart enough to know it was better for them not to get involved. “Tish! Calumny! You’re cheating!”

“I never cheat!”

“BULLSHIT YOU DON’T!”

"I ONLY CHEATED THE ONE TIME BUT YOU WEREN'T EVEN PLAYING!"

"HA! SO YOU ADMIT YOU CHEAT!"

"ONLY THAT ONE TIME! NOT NOW!"

"LIAR!” I grabbed a pillow and chucked it at her. Flinching she yelped, and soon grabbed the same pillow and whacked me with it. “Gah!”

“Take that!” Abby cried, hitting me with the pillow. I grabbed one from the other end of the couch—Zack conveniently got up and moved—and defended myself. As we all know, of course, the best defense is a good offense. We kept thwacking each other with pillows, running around the table, and falling over furniture and each other.

All in good fun, naturally.

“Sweet! Cat fight!”

Sucks how fun gets ruined by other people though.

I blew my hair out of my face, pillow raised, and found that the males in my apartment had doubled. “Alexander,” I greeted, not bothering to acknowledge his comment. “Bassam.” Abby whacked the pillow into my face and scrambled away. “Hey! Cheap shot!”

I rushed after her and smirked when she hid behind Rian. “Come on, you really think I wouldn’t hit him with a pillow?”

She mulled this over and smiled. “Good point!” she said brightly, throwing her pillow at me. I deflected it with my own pillow, and when I straightened from picking it up, Abby was using Alex as a human shield.

“Whoa!” he protested, holding up his hands. “I don’t mind being between two girls, but under different circumstances.” He smiled toothily: that stupid smile that fangirls fawned all over him for. “Any chance of that?”

Raising an eyebrow skeptically, I looked at Abby, who was giving him the required ‘What the fuck?’ look. “Truce?” I offered, holding out a pillow.

She nodded and took it. “Truce.” We grinned at each other, while Alex and Jack raised protest, and immediately attacked the one standing between us.

“What the fuck!” he exclaimed, crouching with his arms over his head to deflect the blows.

“Yay, I’m not getting hit!” Jack said, doing a little dance.

Abby laughed and paused to give him a one-armed hug. “Told you I loved you more.”

“I don’t!” I sang, whacking him.

“Hey!”

Amidst all the shouting and laughing and hitting each other with pillows (Jack decided it was a good idea to grab a few more from the couch) Abby’s phone, which was left behind on the couch, went off and Rian went to answer it. I snorted when I heard him say, “Ummm… she’s kind of hitting Jack and Alex right now…” Then he laughed. “Okay. See you, man.”

Soon after that our epic battle ended, mostly because we were too tired and out of breath from laughing. So we all piled on the couch (and on each other) to chill out.

“Who was that?” Abby asked, remembering that her phone has rung.

Rian, somewhere under her and Jack, chuckled. “Your fiancé.”

“Oh, okay.”

Pause.

Wait for it…

“Wait, WHAT?”

Alex scrambled up, knocking himself, Jack, and Rian onto floor, and grabbed her hand. “What the fuck is this?” he demanded incredulously.

“A hand, dipshit,” I replied, grinning. “You’ve got two of them yourself.”

He rolled his eyes at me and shook Abby’s hand in her face. She swatted him away and grinned. “Right. I’m getting married!”

…You know, if I didn’t know better, I would say she enjoyed the both of us getting crushed. Or she just liked getting tackled by pretty boys. Of course, I couldn’t blame her or disagree there.

I showed—well, more pointed— the guys around the apartment, and Jack seemed very interested in looking through all of the movies commenting on each one. For the most part, the rest of us ignored him until he gasped dramatically and pounced into my lap, watching a box in my face.

“Holy shit, you have Pulp Fiction!” he said, bouncing. “Can we watch it? We have to watch it! Your TV is way too huge for us not to watch it!”

Zack scoffed. “Jack, get off my girlfriend,” he ordered.

Abby laughed. “How many times do you think that’s been said?” she posed to me.

“Too many,” I replied, rolling my eyes. “Okay. Put it on, Bassam.”

“Sick!” He hopped up and made it halfway across the room before turning back. “Stop calling me thaaaaaaaaat!” he whined, making the rest of us laugh.

“But I’ve always called you Bassam,” I said sweetly. “Because your first name isn’t interesting enough. So you’re Bassam, he’s Robert,” I jabbed a thumb at Rian, “And he’s Alexander,” I finished nodding at Alex.

“What about him?” Alex put in, pointing at Zack. “How come you don’t call him Zachary?”

I smiled for a few moments, winking at Abby. “Do you really want to know what I call him?” I asked.

The boys looked at each other, looked at Zack, who judging by the amount he was blushing was thinking of some answers, and turned back to me. “No.”

“I thought not. Bassam, the movie!”

Jack pouted, but stuck the disc in the DVD player and flopped back on the couch. “How would you like it if I called you by your middle name?” he challenged.

“Do you even know my middle name?”

He opened his mouth and closed it, frowning. He tugged on Abby’s sleeve. “Abbyyyyyy! You love me, right?”

“Not that much,” she laughed, pressing play on the menu. Jack pouted and spun around to Zack.

“Merrick! What’s your girlfriend’s middle name?”

“Hell if I know,” Zack admitted, shrugging.

Alex’s head rolled back as he laughed and I beamed. “You’re the worst boyfriend ever, dude.”

My smile dropped and I looked at him seriously. “Don’t make me get my thwacking pillow, Alexander.”

Our attentions turned to the movie, and that entertained us for a good while. I wish I could say that I wasn’t just as delighted by the “questionable content” as the guys were, but why lie?

Eventually, about halfway through the movie, Abby remembered that Josh had called and headed out of the apartment to call him back. “You’re leaving me with these four?” I protested.

She grinned, rolling her eyes. "For the time being, yes.” Abby put on her Mother Face and adopted a maternal tone. “Boys, play nice."

"How nice?" Alex asked with a grin.

I rolled my eyes. "Everyone stays in their clothes," Abby reprimanded.

"AWWW!" Alex and Jack whined. Zack hummed two notes after the door shut behind her, and I glanced over; he jerked his head, and I uncurled myself from the couch and sat across his lap, legs crossed over the arm.

Rian studied us a moment before shaking his head and returning to the movie. I arched an eyebrow at him comically, and when he looked away from the screen, he cracked up. “Didn’t your parents ever tell you your face would stick that way if you made faces?”

“My parents told me a lot of things,” I said, chuckling. “Still do. Doesn’t mean I listen though.”

We continued watching the movie, and around the fourth time I told Jack to stop fucking yelling, my roommate was studying, the front door opened. “Pulp Fiction?” a voice way to masculine to be Abby’s asked. “Nice.”

I turned and peered over the back of the armchair. “Dave!” the guys chorused.

Dave waved and he and Abby sat on the couch. “I found this outside and thought we could use one,” she joked. "That is, unless Eris' Hostel For The Musically Inclined and Somewhat Mentally Challenged is all full..."

“There’s always a vacancy,” Alex laughed.

“Like she doesn’t adore us.”

“Some more than others, cough Zack cough.”

“Shut up, Jack.”

“Hold up!” I exclaimed, sitting up and going all ghetto with my gesticulating. Which is something that should never happen. But at least it got their attention. I pointed at the newcomer. “If I may pose a query, David.” Dave nodded. “…How the fuck do you know where I live?”

He laughed and pointed over Abby and Rian at Jack. I blinked a few times at the accused, who didn’t notice that he was the new subject. Soon I got sick of waiting for him to notice, so rolling my eyes I snatched up the remote and paused the movie.

“Hey!” Jack protested as I got up, heading to my bedroom.

“Where are you going?” Zack asked.

I stopped, turned, and smiled. “To get a pillow!” I chirped.

“Why?” Dave asked, confused.

“To beat Jack to death with!”