The Life of a Teenage Girl

I keep my scars from prying eyes
Incapable of ever knowing why
Somebody breathe, I've got to have an answer

Why am I so fascinated by
bigger pictures, better things
But I don't care what you think
You'll never understand me

First Paragraph:
Hm.
I have scars that are visible.
I try not to gain or even better: attract people's attention to them.
I do keep them from prying eyes and I try not to let too many people in on what they are caused by.
You're probably asking Why do you have them? What caused you to make them?
Well I'll tell you.
In Seventh grade, I had a friend that didn't have the best home life and so she attempted suicide.
She didn't die but there was a group of at least 10 girls and we couldn't find her.
We were all crying and we all ended up in the office that way and this was at lunch and of course I was crying for pretty much the rest of the day and to tell you the truth that was the last time I showed weakness like that in front of a large group of people.
So I felt that I didn't mean much because she wanted to leave and didn't think of how her friends would react.
Another reason is I was going out with this guy that I've known since last year and he's really nice and laid back.
Longest relationship I've ever had, 6 months, couldn't see each other cause of rents.
Before he had broken up with me I had cut but not deep enough to bleed all that bad.
Anyway I wanted an answer as to why she wanted to leave her friends with the grief of losing a friend and I also wanted an answer to why I couldn't see Tony as much as I wanted to.
But I guess I'll never get an answer to either of those things.

Second Paragraph:
I can get easily fascinated by bigger pictures of things.
Like yeah you can get a CD and have all the songs from it.
I look at the bigger picture and see what else you can get with it.
Like with Slipknot.
They have put out Slipknot and All Hope Is Gone in a regular version and a Special Edition version.
I obviously want the bigger picture and wanted the Special Editions.
But I want to know why I'm so fascinated by the bigger picture and not totally satisfied with the regular or smaller picture.
I'm also fascinated by the better things.
Like I have a regular iPod mini.
I also have an iPod Nano Video.
Why do I have to be so fascinated by the better things when I don't even use the special things that come with the newer iPods?
I don't see the point in it but then again I like the smallness and durability of them.
But then again I could really care less about if you think bad about that part of me.
And maybe you never will understand me completely.
It's not my fault.