Come in, It's Freezing

The rain was pounding on my window, another Monday wasted in crying. My journal was at my feet, and the sound of another page being torn flooded my ears, I was sick and tired of having to remember the events that had happened last month.

"Bella, baby. I’m sorry we have to end it this way," his voice told me.
"No, you have to end it. Do you think I care if you have to go and tour? I wouldn’t cheat on you for God sakes!" I yelled at him, tears in my eyes.

Frank Iero was perfection, everybody knew it. His hazel eyes were entrancing, I could stare at him forever and not get tired. But the thing that drew me to him was a simple word: music. When he picked up his guitars and started to play, you knew that Frank was meant to make music.

It was no shock when Frank and me started to date, he was the angel of music and I was a devote follower (if you could say it that way). I worked in the poet’s department, words seemed to spill from my hand every time I touched a pencil or a pen.

We met at a local cafe, he was there with his friends and I was sipping at my coffee and working on my next poem: “A dream”, I went to pay for another coffee and when I returned there was a note in my notebook: Hi, I have seen you around, I think you’re cute. xo, Frank.

And so the courtship began, it started with little notes left in each other’s tables, it slowly progressed to “coffee dates” and on May the summer romance began.

But it was over and I had to let it go. I had spent a year with him, a year I wouldn’t have back, a year I wouldn’t change for the world.

"Lena, are you okay?" A voice woke my from my daze.

My eyes focused on the door that was opening and showed the figure of my little sister, Anna. She looked at the disaster that Frank had made by walking out of my life, I didn’t talk, I didn’t move, I only spent my time tearing things that remembered my life with my angel.

"Sis, you know it’s not healthy to dwell on the past, he wanted you to move on, remember?" Anna said, sitting at my side and draping an arm around my shoulders.
"How can you move on when someone is the love of your life?" I said to her, trying to calm down.
"You have to do it, for the baby..." she said, looking at my stomach.

Yes, there was a baby in my life. It was mine and Frank’s, I knew I was pregnant the day after Frank left, the morning sickness told me so, and so did the two test I took.

"I’m going," I said standing up and heading to the dresser.
"Lena, it’s raining, you are going to get sick!" Anna said, grabbing my arms.
"Does it look like I care? I need to tell him about his daughter or son..." I said, changing my clothes as quickly as I could.

There was defeat in her eyes, she knew that when I wanted something I would end up with it. I was stubborn and that’s what she admired in me, she looked at me again and went to her room.

I walked to the door and stepped outside of my room for the first time in a month. I ran to the front door and went outside, I didn’t want to run to Frank’s house so I walked mumbling to myself the speech that I had to tell him.

I arrived at his house and knocked at his door, waiting for a girl to answer me, waiting for anything to happen that would ruin my plan. Instead, he opened the door, and I looked at the mess that had took over Frank’s life.

He had bags under his eyes, he hadn’t been shaving, he smelled like cigarettes and soda, he was in pajamas, but he looked as handsome as always. The light in his eyes had escaped, the glow in his skin faded, but he looked angelical like he always did.

"Bella, what are you doing here?" he asked.
"We have to talk" I said with fright in my voice.
"You’re soaking wet, get in," he realized and let me pass.

He disappeared, when he came back he had dry clothes on his hands, I grabbed them and went to change, mumbling to myself the speech once and again, hoping I wouldn’t mess up this.

"Bella, why are you here?" he asked, using the nickname he had given me.
"Frank, I’m pregnant. And I’m keeping the baby, like it or not," I said.

His eyes went from my eyes to my stomach, his lips curved to a smile and that’s when I noticed the glow in his skin had returned. He looked at me again and went to his knees, I went to him and he hugged my stomach.

"Frankie, you’re going to be a dad!" I said stroking his hair.
"Bella, I don’t know why I let you go..." he said getting up and kissing me.
"Frank, promise me you will never leave me," I said, hugging him.
"Never," he said.

And the dream began again.