Suicide Watch

I stood on the roof of the TV room. I looked down. I didn’t think this would kill me, but it would give warning. I looked over at my neighbor’s window. His light was on, curtains closed. I stared at his window for a while, and then the lights went out.

What time is it? I looked back, into my room, and I glanced at my bedside table where the digital clock was. It read 2:16 AM.

Should I do it? Or should I just find a gun and shoot my self? Do I wanna see how they would react? I took another step toward the edge. I stared down, and I saw twigs, sticks, branches and a tree. That would hurt. Could I hurt myself to death with those? Or just regular injury? Should I find out now?

I take another step closer. I’m almost at the very end of the roof. I look at my bare feet. They are freezing like crazy. MY toes are red and they look like fire. The bottoms of my pajama pants are dragging and filthy. They were white and now they seem…gray? Smoky black? I don’t know. Somewhere between that. My arms are numb, since I’m wearing a short sleeve shirt. The wind whips my hair around my face, as if I were standing on a beach, and not considering jumping off the top of my roof.

Another step. What have I to lose?

Another step. One more, and I fall. I don’t even look at the ground. I stare at his window. And I start taking another step.