Everything is Not What it Seems

Katelyn’s P.O.V
So we’re in Cleveland…and the girls are doing their girls in thingy. I sighed, feeling this weight on my chest…yeah I miss Nikki so much it hurts. She’s been busy so we haven’t talked in awhile. I’m jealous…she’s got Val…and if she wants to call up Leana and Dawn she could. It pisses me off that I can’t just randomly call Nikki up since she’s helping with My Chemical Romance. I pulled my knees to my chest and cursed my weakness. Yeah, I wanted to go add more scars to my arms. I opted to put my iPod in on shuffle and then go take a shower while they giggled girlishly and talked about Zacky and Ashley’s mind blowing sex experience. I seriously thought I might hurl.

So wanting to block it all up, I hooked my iPod into my iHome and walked into the bathroom with it and hit play as I stepped into the shower and stripped down. I smiled with a bitter laugh as ‘The Call’ by the Backstreet Boys came on. I sang along softly as I washed my hair and body. “Let me tell you the story about the call that changed my destiny. Me and my boys went out just to end up in misery. Was about to go home when she was standing there in front of me. I said hi, I got a little place nearby, wanna go. I should have said no, someone’s waiting for me. But I called my girl up and said, listen baby, I’m sorry. Just wanna tell you don’t worry. I will be late, don’t stay up and wait for me. I say again, you’re dropping out my battery is low. So you know we’re going to a place nearby, gotta go,” I smiled to myself as I stepped out of the shower and started drying off. There was a knock on the door, so I wrapped the towel around my body before answering the door.

I noted Brian staring back at me and I think had it not been so humid in here…he may have seen the blush on my cheeks at the fact that he was looking me up and down. “Need something?” I asked as he nodded before explaining that the guys were in the other bathroom and he really needed to go. I shrugged and stepped out and stood leaning against the wall waiting for him to finish up so I can finish dressing and all of that.

He stepped out after washing his hands and thanked me as I walked back in. I closed the door and left the towel where it was and began to brush out my brown hair. I stared into the mirror and let my green eyes wonder. I looked to the scars on my wrists and arms before looking at the reflection of the music notes on my clavicle. One of the places Brian’s eyes had stopped when roaming my body with his eyes. I felt a blush come to my cheeks before I splashed my face with cold water. I sighed before texting Adam asking him if he wanted to come over and watch a movie with me and felt my eyes tear up when he said he couldn’t and that I’d be fine. I sighed deeply before getting dressed in lounge pants and my tank top for bed. I pinned my hair up out of my face and pulled on my glasses before grabbing my iPod and headphones. “Well I guess you get to be my best friend tonight,” I stated softly to the small device before grabbing my dirty clothes and iHome and walking out of the bathroom.

I decided I wanted Chinese food so I pulled on a hoodie and grabbed my keys and wallet. “Um anyone want anything while I’m out?” I asked the shocked room. Did I mention Matt and Zacky along with Brian had joined their little ‘girl’s night.’ I shrugged before slipping on my Nikes and tucking my iPod into my hoodie pocket. I grabbed my board and headed out the door. Within about half an hour, I was back with my orange chicken and was eating it on the floor as they all stared in amazement.

“Stop staring at me eat. It’s creepy! And this is the first time I actually feel good while eating. So leave me alone,” I stated with a pout before putting my headphones in. I finished up my food and threw the container away before pulling out my phone to call Nikki. When I got to the voicemail I left her a message. “Ney Nikki…I really miss you so give me a call babe. Love you. Bye,” I stated before hanging up and sighing. I yawned tiredly and went and laid on the bed with my eyes closed…but I refused to sleep. I knew for a fact I would wake up screaming otherwise. I felt tears start falling as my mind went to Mark and Steven and their vows to be back.

I felt myself shake before pulling my knees to my chest. “She’s shaking. You think she’s cold?” Zacky asked back to Ashley and them. I rolled my eyes before texting Adam and curling up tighter. Within a few minutes of the text Adam was pushing past them and laying with me. My head was resting on his chest and he was rubbing my back lightly. I closed my eyes as a few more silent tears fell down my cheeks. Last thing I heard was Matt say something about me ruining their evening yet again.

When I woke up…Adam was gone, and there was a note on the bedside table. I read it over to realize everyone had gone to breakfast and hadn’t wanted to wake me. I rolled my eyes, in other words there was a small discussion about how I ruined their night and they deserve peace and quiet for awhile. I just rolled my eyes and turned on music again. I sighed as ‘Born to Make You Happy’ by Britney Spears came on. I sang along softly and hadn’t noticed they had started to walk back in. “I don’t know how to live without your love. I was born to make you happy. Cause you’re the only one within my heart. I was born to make you happy. Always and forever you and me, that’s the way our lives should be. I don’t know how to live without your love. I was born to make you happy,” I sang softly. I looked up to see them all staring at me and felt all self conscious and hugged myself shyly.

Adam laughed before pulling me to him and asking if I could help him fix up the guitar part he had written out for a new song…Running Away, I think he said it was called. I smiled and agreed before he handed me the lyrics as he played and I sang along softly. “I’m thinking to myself, that I’ve done something wrong. That I have crossed a line. Have you found out this time? I led ya to believe, it’s only you and me. Do you see it in my eyes? Have you found out this time? You see right through me, cause you’re running away. You keep turning your back on me. I tried so hard, but you’re running away. Please don’t turn your back on me. I’m drinking by myself, I know I’m going down. Will you pick me up? Will you leave me on the ground? I led ya to believe, it’s only you and me. I can see it in your eyes. That you’ve found out this time. You see right through me, cause you’re running away. You keep turning your back on me. I tried so hard, but you’re running away. Please don’t turn your back on me. Don’t just turn and walk away. I can learn from my mistakes. Don’t throw everything away. You see right through me, cause you’re running away. You keep turning your back on me. I tried so hard. But you’re running away, but you’re running away. You see right through me cause your running away. You keep turning your back on me. I tried so hard. But your running away. Please don’t turn your back on me.”

I smiled liking it as he grinned as well. We also looked up to see them staring again. I swear they just like to do that to freak everyone out.

Oh well like I said...I'm moving past it...if they're gonna be bitches over the past, that's their own issue. Not mine.