Too Close For Comfort

Chapter 6

***Lacey POV***

It was pitch black when I woke up the next morning. There wasn’t even any light peeking around the edges of the curtain. I lifted my head up and unwrapped my left arm from around Matt and felt around for a cell phone or anything that would give me a sense of the time. I feel around until I feel the hard piece of plastic that made up Matt’s sidekick. I grabbed it and pressed it until it lit up. 5:30 am. Seriously?

Just then, Matt sighed and I freaked out, thinking that I had woken him up. I held my breath for a second, until I realized that he just turned his head a bit. The light went off from Matt’s phone, and I quickly fumbled around to cut the light back on, and just looked at his face. I gazed over his face, smiling when I thought of the eyes that were behind his closed eyelids, holding back my urge to kiss his cute nose. And then there was his lips. I bit my own as I thought about his soft lips. Wait. How do I know they’re soft? Not just soft, but then there was a flavor, one that belonged just to him. I thought back to last night, trying to rack my brain for why I would know this stuff.

‘You kissed him last night.’ I what? I thought hard, until I suddenly remembered. I kissed Matthew Sanders. Fuck. Let’s think this out Lacey. Why would I kiss Matt?

‘Because you have a huge ass crush on him and want to screw him in every possible way?’ Not… ok, so maybe that was true, but still why would I have kissed him? He could have any girl he wanted, why would he kiss me, because if my memory served me right, he did kiss me back. Unless… It was a dream! It had to be! There was no way that Matt would have kissed me back, I must have just been so drunk that I must have started dreaming as soon as I hit the pillow. Yeah, that’s what this is. My drunk imagination must be super vivid or something. Honestly, it had to be, because this wasn’t the first time that I had dreams of me and Matt together.

Ever since my birthday, I had been having this really strange recurring dream about Matt. And it felt so real. I could feel him kissing me and touching me, and it felt way too real. And I had no clue what to do. I was going crazy.

I gently climbed over his body and made my way into the kitchen area of the bunk, stopping only to grab Matt’s computer from the empty bunk before cutting it on and making myself a cup of coffee. I searched the table for my iPod and phone while the computer loaded, seeing that I had a missed call from my parents and my iPod was dead. Great.

I had to put space between me and Matt, I had to back away and get over him. It was just so much easier when I had a crush on him the first time, because we weren’t friends and he had a super hot girlfriend. Now, he was my closest friend and he wasn’t attached. He didn’t pay attention to other females. He fell asleep next to me every night. All of these things were driving me insane. It wasn’t normal to be feeling this way, and he was unknowingly fueling the fire. Space had to be the answer.

*** 2 Days Later***

I climbed out of the bunk as soon as I heard someone yelling that it was time to get up. I quickly picked something out of my duffel bag and went into the back room to change, making sure to lock the door so that no one could walk in on me. I hurriedly brushed my hair and teeth, and was out of the bus within 20 minutes. I joined in on unloading the trucks so that I could start my job. By the time lunch rolled around, we were almost finished. Lunch was being provided for us today by the venue, since it had a restaurant attached, so when we had been cleared, everyone headed off to eat.

I felt super nervous when I walked into the restaurant, like it’s the first day of school in a new place. I looked around, weighing my options on where I could sit, taking note of empty seats. I could see the boys sitting at two different tables that had been pushed together, along with the Berry brothers. I wanted to head right over there, but I wasn’t sure about it.

I decided that I wasn’t really into being here right now, and turned to head back out the door, figuring I could just go outside and enjoy the sunshine.

“Yo Lacey, over here! We saved you a seat.” I froze as I turned back around, seeing Zacky wave at me enthusiastically. I quietly contemplated excuses that I could come up with, before seeing his eyes set on me. I internally groaned as I started walking toward the table, avoiding the hazel eyed glare focused on me. Yes, I said glare. I wasn’t so happy about it either.

As I finally sat down, I let out a sigh of relief, because Matt was sitting further down the table, situated so that he couldn’t see me without making it very obvious.

The past two days had been hell. As soon as we had gotten to the venue, I grabbed my stuff and jumped off the guy’s bus, and carried everything to the crew bus, and hid out there until I was needed. The boys walked in at about noon, and Matt walked straight up to me. I think he knew something was up when he tried to hug me and I shrugged him off pretending to do something that involved me ducking down.

“I didn’t feel you get up this morning.” I looked up at him as I double-checked everything running into the sound board.

“Ugh, yeah, I woke up at like 6 and couldn’t go back to sleep.” I kept my answers short and tried to focus on what I was doing, even though I knew I could probably do this stuff blindfolded. After a few minutes of silence, he mumbles something and walks off. Awkward turtle.

Since then, Matt had become very moody. Very moody. Everyone had been asking me what his deal was, and I honestly didn’t know what to say. “Oh yeah, well, I’m not sure, but I think it has something to do with me avoiding him because I can’t do anything but think about how bad I want him.” Uh no, I don’t think so.

“Matt? Hello?” I looked up to see the waitress staring at Matt, along with everyone else. “Dude, it’s your turn to order.” I listened to him stutter out an order, before leaning onto Zacky’s shoulder and looking at the menu. I patiently waited my turn, and before I could open my mouth, I was hearing my order being told.

“Chicken tenders, fries, honey mustard and barbeque sauce.” I laughed as the waitress looked around the table. It seemed that everyone knew exactly what I wanted.

“Seriously?”

“Well, you’re kinda predictable.” I pushed Jimmy’s shoulder, and tried to pay attention to the conversation, but I was failing miserably. Whenever Brian leaned back in his seat, I would get to see Matt. It was just a glance here and there, but I could see how unhappy he was. My friendship meant that much to him? Wow.

***A few days later***

“Lacey, what the fuck is going on?” I looked up from my book. I had been dreading this, and I knew it would happen any day now.

“What are you talking about Matty?” Play it cool, and play innocent.

“You know what I’m talking about. You’re ignoring me, and I want to know why. Did I do something?” I’ve never heard so much anger coming from him, aimed at me before.

“Matt, I really have no clue what you’re talking about. I’m not ignoring you.” I put on my best poker face and took a deep breath. I watched as Matt clinched his jaw and I squirmed in my seat. And I was—wait; I was turned on by it? Wow.

“Well then why are you sleeping in your bunk? And not hanging out with me? And you barely speak to me?” He began to pace the floor in front of my table, and I tried to figure out a way to speak to him.

“Don’t you think you’re overreacting just a bit? I treat you the same as I treat everyone else.”

“That’s the problem Lace! You don’t treat me like everyone else! Do you not fucking remember that? We’ve been connected at the hip for months!” I went to open my mouth, but he quickly interrupted me. “Fuck. You want us to be like everyone else? Then you got it.” Before I knew what was happening, Matt was storming off. I quickly shot up to follow him. I did a great job there, didn’t I?

“Matt, stop, I didn’t mean it like that.” I cried out as I grabbed his arm, forcing him to stop. He didn’t turn towards me. And I could feel how tense he was. “Matt, I just thought that you were so close with me because of going through everything with Val, and, well, it just seems like you’re over her. I figured that you didn’t need me anymore; that I would just keep you from—I don’t know; moving on?” I held back my tears as I stared at him, waiting for some kind of reaction. He looked over at me, and I could tell his eyes were misty. Maybe he wasn’t over Val? We just stared at each other for a moment or two, and he just turned and walked away. I felt the tears build up and flow onto my cheeks.

***Matt POV***

“What the fuck is wrong with this damn computer?” I slammed my hand onto the table. I had been completely frustrated since talking to Lacey a few hours ago, and I didn’t know what the fuck to do. I don’t know how to tell her that I still want her around, that I’m not just leaning on her to get over Val, tell her that I’m over her.

“Damn M, you have to give it some time, it’s gotta load.” Zacky snickered from across the table. I raised my head to tell him to fuck off, but he was staring at me, waiting to snap on him.

I watched as Brian walked by, and stopped once he saw me glaring at Zacky. Zacky stood up, and grabbed a beer out of the fridge.

“What’s up with you two?” Brian asked. I mumbled as I finally got the computer to work. I logged into one of the messenger programs on the computer, looking up Lacey’s profile. It irritated me to hell and back when I saw that her profile picture was of her and Zacky.

“Matt’s still pissed off at the world.”

“Oh, Lacey’s still ignoring you?” I huffed as a response. Zacky looked over my shoulder.

“Oh wait, weren’t you in that picture too?” I wish I had hair to pull out right now. I know he’s one of my best friends, but damn I just want to punch him in the face right now. Thank you for bringing up that not only did she change the picture from me and her to her and Zacky, but she had cropped me out of the picture.

Johnny walked through the bus, heading out, and got as far as the steps before he was stopped. “Where are you off to?”

“Well, I hear Lacey’s got free time now, so I’m gonna go see if she wants to hang out before the concert.” I couldn’t help the growl that came from me. “Dude, sorry. It was supposed to be a joke. I guess it wasn’t that funny?”

“It would have been if someone wasn’t all emo over there.” Zacky plopped down on the couch beside Brian. Jimmy chose that moment to walk into the bus. I sat there, seething, listening to them all make jokes.

“Just shut the hell up okay?”

“Shit man, what’s wrong?” Jimmy slid in across from me. I pushed my computer out of the way and stared back at the guys, all waiting for me to answer.

“I dunno. All of a sudden Lacey starts acting all weird, and then I talked to her about it today.”

“And?”

“She said that she thought we were close because she was helping me get over Val.”

“Wait, isn’t that what happened?”

“Well, I guess, but even before that, we were good friends, we’re all good friends with her; but after everything she’s honestly my best friend.” I kept it at that, no need to mention what else I was worried about.

“And now you’re pissed ‘cause she backed off?”

“No, well, yeah, but more with the fact that she thinks that I don’t need her anymore; like she’s just someone I’m using and then throwing away.”

“Well did you tell her that, or did you just get mad and storm off?” Johnny smirked. I responded by flipping him off. “So you stormed off.”

“Well how about you tell her that she’s your best friend and you still need her?” Jimmy looked at me like I should know that already.

“Oh, and tell her you miss her. Chicks love that shit!” Brian added.

***Lacey POV***

The rest of the night was pretty depressing for me. For some reason, we were really busy the whole night, and I wanted to talk to Matt, but I never got the chance. I would catch him staring at me, and turn away as soon as I caught him, but there wasn’t enough time. I didn’t even have enough time to take him tea after the show; I had to get someone else to get it for him, after having to explain everything twice.

After finally loading up, I climbed straight into my bed and cuddled right up, phone in hand, debating on calling or texting Matt. I had no clue what to do. I sat up for a long time, I would pick up my phone every few minutes, knowing that I should text Matt or call him, but then I would spend twice that talking myself out of it, because I was doing what was best for the both of us. Right? Well, maybe if I just text him to say sorry. . . no, I just need to let him be. I’m saving us both a bunch of trouble in the long run. He’s not gonna be interested in someone like me, and all I’m doing is getting myself way too attached.

I was jolted awake by my neck vibrating. I looked at my phone that clearly said 4 am. I must have dozed off. Sitting up, I rubbed my eyes, and opened my phone. I had a new message.

I miss you. And I still need you. You’re my best friend.

I chewed on my lower lip as I reread the message numerous times. Could I really keep this up? I could either suck it up and make Matt happy, or I could continue to act like a little bitch and make both of our lives miserable. And I cared too much about Matt to do that to him. Damn.

I sat up and grabbed my bag and began to stuff my things in it, realizing that the bus was still, meaning that we were stopped, and knowing that I had to hurry up. I slid on my flip flops and grabbed my duffel bag, messenger bag, and pillow and walked through the bus to the door. As I walked out, I noticed that we were at a rest stop off of the interstate. I stopped briefly to talk to the bus drivers, letting them know that I was switching buses again, which earned smirks from them and climbed on the guys’ bus. Being as quiet as possible, I sat my stuff on the couch and tossed off my shoes, and stumbled in the dim light to Matt’s bunk.

As I opened the curtain, he turned toward me, and I silently climbed into the bunk and over him. He pulled back the covers and I climbed under them, and cuddled into him. neither of us said a word, as we wrapped ourselves around the other. Matt kissed the top of my head and pulled me as close as possible, and within minutes, his breath evened out.