Feathers On My Breath

The days and nights that followed Athena’s party, I immersed myself in work, almost to the point that I was being threatened with the prospect of nothing to do. I stood above the scrying bowl, watching the lives of sinful people when the doorbell rang.

“Hol?”

“Bart?” I sassed back.

“Cupid is coming for a visit”

“When? I’m kinda busy”

“You can take a break you know. You’ve got all of eternity to get back at people”

I rolled my eyes.

“Fine. But when is he coming?”

The doorbell rang again.

“Like, now”

“Can you get that please? So I can at least finish up?”

True to my word, I finished up my case and turned down the soft music to a relaxing volume which wouldn’t be intrusive.I sat down on the chic couch that I had many of my lectures when I was still in training and leaned back, crossing my legs and closing my eyes.

“Hi, Celeste”

“Cupid. What brings you to my humble castle?”

“Well I thought we should probably have a chat”

“I’d like that, as gods or as humans?”

“I think a nice human chat has been long in store, formalities aside”

“Well Jonas. What more is there to talk about?”

“I don’t think I’m doing this for you”

“I didn’t figure. I don’t blame you for hating me”

“Holly, I could never hate you. You know, I found you a few years ago when I was shooting somebody”

“Was it my horrible ex-husband falling in love with another woman?”

He looked at his hands solemnly and again, I felt bad for being so harsh.

“I’m sorry Jonas, I’m just really-“

“It’s fine really. I guess I deserve that”

“You really don’t. Please continue, I promise I won’t interrupt you”

Jonas sighed and scratched his forehead, a nervous habit he seemed to never be able to shake off.

“I wanted to tell you how I felt,” he said as I nodded.

“That night, on your birthday, when you broke up with me, I didn’t know what to do. I was just so in love with you and I never knew where it was coming from. I thought we were happy and that you loved me as much as I loved you,

“As I crawled down that trellis, I just didn’t know what to do with myself. I just didn’t know how to react but to leave. You really hurt me Holly and I just didn’t want to deal with you or anything, so I overworked myself. My life just spiraled out of control; I was terribly lonely, absolutely miserable all because of love. I really hated everything about it; I just didn’t think it existed. Then I met Cupid and I can’t say I was too happy about that. I always thought he was mocking me, by giving me my world and just letting her rip it away from me. I was so mad at you for so long, so long”

I stared at the ground, letting his side of the story sink in. I looked up at his face and he seemed to be battling with himself. I slid my hand into his and squeezed lightly, he didn’t look back at me, but he squeezed back.

“I didn’t mean to. I really didn’t”

“I know now. I know what happened. It was the only way I could possibly forgive you”
“I don’t know if I want to be forgiven Jonas”

“Getting over you was the first step for me to get along with my life, or my afterlife. And now talking to you is helping me to just get on with my emotions. It was important for me to do this so I could move along and ask Aphrodite to be my mate”

“Excuse me? Aphrodite? Really? You two are dating?” I asked, trying not to sound crushed.

Even after everything, I knew deep down I still loved him. I could feel the walls breaking down and I liked it. Not being able to love was already bad, but to love and never achieve was perhaps the worst feeling in the world.

“Yeah, she was there when I needed her and she’ll always be there. It seems as logical as anything and I really do love her. It’s hard to feel love when you’re the one who creates it. But she makes me feel like I used to feel with you. I’m glad we could have chatted about this and I’m glad I was able to close this chapter in my life and finally start a new one”

I nodded and smiled weakly.

“I’m glad I could help. I really hate to do this, but I have a lot of work to get done”

“Oh absolutely, I understand. I’m in a great mood, so I’ll just show myself out. Thanks a lot Holly,” Jonas said, pressing his cheek against mine.

The door shut softly behind him as I bit my lip, trying to hold back the flood of emotions that wanted to spill over my eyes. The feelings were so overwhelming that my body started to tingle, not knowing how to react in a situation like this.

“Barto?” I asked quietly as I lay on the couch.

“Holly? Are you okay?” Barto cried, running to my side.

“What does it mean when you ask somebody to be their mate?”

“It’s equivalent to a human marriage proposal”

“So then to be somebody’s mate is like being married to them, but forever?”

“Exactly, a stronger level of eternal love is a major factor, since there is no divorce up here,” Barto explained.

“How’s the rate of completion on my own revenge?”

“It was set in motion, but the torment doesn’t stop. Did Cupid…?”

I shook my head.

“No, I just, I thought I’d give it a whirl”

“But Quixa said,” Barto started, but he closed his mouth.

“If you’re talking about what she said to me, I know. But I guess whoever I thought that was wasn’t him”

It felt a lot like my heart was dying, just shriveling and unable to feel anything but numb.

“Do you need me to work overdrive while you take a rest?”

“If that wouldn’t be too much trouble, I think I’d like that”

I crawled up the stairs and buried myself into the bed. On a normal circumstance, it was the most comfortable bed in the universe, but to me if felt lumpy and hard and I couldn’t find a comfortable position no matter how much I rolled around.