A Royal Pain In The Ass...And I Have To Marry Him?

“So did you ask my mom about the doctor thing?” Nate asked as we walked down the street. He thought it would be a good idea to just get out of the house and get some fresh air for a while.
I always loved taking walks at night, but was too scared to by myself. Scoffing, I wrapped my arms around myself. “Yea, my ass.”
Just thinking about that lady got me into a sour mood. Why are old ladies such idiots? I better not become like that when I get older.
“Well then. I guess I’ll be doing the asking.” He wrapped his arm around my shoulders, bringing me closer to him so that we bumped while we walked. Me walking very unsteadily; I just wanted to crawl in my bed and sleep.
“Good.” I mumbled.
Nate rolled his eyes. “You are going to have to get over what she said some time Sage.”
I laughed; no humor at all. “Oh Nathanial, my idiotic husband. Was your brain even there when she said she wants us to have kids? Like honestly. Do I look like I could have a kid? Pft, not even in another life time.” Shaking my head I moved ahead of Nate, picking up my pace.
Was it not enough that I agreed to marrying and moving to another fucking country of which I have never heard of? Like COME ON people. Now was a good time to get some root beer, chips and chocolate dip.
Catching up to me, Nate took a hold of my hand. “Listen Sage, what she said wasn’t even that bad. I mean…it’s not like she said to kill your mom or something. Don’t worry, just chill.”
My mouth fell open. “What do you mean chill? What do you mean it’s not that bad?” We had stopped at the corner of a street. A couple walked by hand in hand, giving us odd looks. I couldn’t care less at the moment though. “Are you telling me its okay if I have a baby at age sixteen?”My voice was starting to get high.
He sighed, exasperated and shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “I’m not saying I want kids now. And it wouldn’t be only you having a kid Sage, I’m right here.”
“Whose vagina is it coming out of?” I retorted back bluntly.
“Okay well that’s not what I meant smartass, but anyways one day kids are going to be nice. Don’t you think?” He smiled, moving closer to me.
I tried to smile back – I really did. Instead a frown appeared in its place. The thought of labor popped into my head. “But the pushing and the crying and the diapers and the not being able to sleep on your stomach when you’re pregnant. Oh Nate the list goes on and on.”
Laughing, he wrapped his arms around me and kiss me on my forehead. “What you say hot stuff.”
It better be whatever I say or else I’m going to be a very unhappy queen.

---

“Goodbye my almost lover, goodbye my hopeless dream.”
Nate groaned. “Sage, shut the fuck up.”
Whistling now, I continued to ignore him.
“That’s it. I’m going to have to shut you up. It’s three in the morning; I want to sleep once tonight.”
I rolled my eyes and jumped out of our bed. “Well la-di-da. I’m sorry that I’m nervous to be leaving this country to go to someplace I didn’t even know was on the map. So once again, I’m sorry.” I apologized sarcastically to Nate while I grabbed a hair tie and threw my hail into a ponytail.
“You are forgiven now go to sleep.” He didn’t even lift his head and for a second I kind of felt sorry that I kept him up so late. I crawled back into bed beside him quietly, giving up.
Now what to do? Just stare up at the ceiling and admire the fancy chandelier? Now that is what you call fun; totally.
Turning over to Nate’s still body I watched him. His muscles moved ever so suddenly with his breathing. And like a crazy person, I felt this weird urge to reach out and hug him. Give him this huge hug and hold him tight. Easy Sage, don’t go all romance novel on yourself now.
Well, regardless that’s what I did. I buried my head in his back, thanking God that he smelled good like, all that time. How amazing he isn’t one of those guys that don’t care how they smell? I swear if he was, we would have a problem.
It took Nate only like, 20 seconds to realize I was hugging him. I felt his body move under my arms and him turn around. I was quickly the one in his arms. Huh, that’s alright with him…you know, I’m totally cool with being the one that is in the arms of the spouse, it’s -
“Goodnight Sage, I love you. And don’t worry sweetie, everything is going to be okay.”
I lay there, my eyes closed, trying to figure out how to respond. I can’t all like, oh yes Nate I believe you and I trust you. Cause I don’t. Nothing is ever okay poop. “I love you too, night.” I settled on that and exhaled. Tomorrow is going to be one hell of a day.
---

“Five more minutes.” I begged, not letting Hannah go.
Heaving a sigh, Nate crossed his arms. “You’ve already had twenty extra minutes. The pilot isn’t going to wait forever let’s go. Hannah can come and visit whenever she wants but right now we have to go.”
I frowned. “You suck.”
“No you suck”
I gasped. “No I don’t.”
He smirked. “Yes you do, and I mean literally.”
It was Hannah’s turn to gasp. “You do what? And you didn’t tell me?”
I glared at Nate. “We’ll talk about this later – both of you. I guess I have to go, Nate’s a jackass.”
“I’m right here you know.”
“Oh I know.” Idiot. I hugged Hannah tightly. “Later gator.”
“In a while crocodile. Go be a rocking queen.” She laughed.
“Oh I will.” I smiled, not finding the energy to laugh back with her. “Bye, I’ll miss you.”
“I’ll miss you too.”
And with that, I grabbed Nate’s hand and dragged him into the awaiting limo. Here I come, Dondiro. I swear…the name of this country could not be anymore stupider. It reminds me of…Doritos. Ha.
---

“Want to hear a funny saying?” I asked Nate as I flipped through Seventeen magazine. We still had a couple of more hours until the plane landed. And I was too…I don’t even know the word. But let’s just say I couldn’t sleep away the time.
“Sure, why not.” He responded as if he were bored. Well obviously he would be bored. There’s nothing to do.
“Okay so, I was reading a story-“
“I’m not letting you go on Quizilla anymore. Remember when you thought I was a vampire.” He narrowed his eyes at me.
“Oh shut up, I was just…paranoid. This is actually funny. So the guy was like, this sucks more than prostitutes.” I smiled, showing my teeth. “Do you get it?” I couldn’t help but let out a little giggle.
He smiled back, leaned in and gave me a soft kiss. “You’re cute.”
I bit my lip. “Thanks…but you didn’t answer my question.”
“Yea I get it. But it should be, this sucks more than Sage.” He couldn’t control his laughter.
I threw the magazine at him and crossed my arms. “No more oral pleasure for you mister ‘go around telling everyone everything’. I hate you.”
“Awe, I was kidding Sage. And Besides, who cares about what Hannah knows. She’s your best friend. I thought you chicks tell each other everything.” He shrugged, indicating that he didn’t give a shit.
I flipped him off, not saying anything.
“I still love you.”
Sighs. “I love you too, but not right now.” I would NOT give him the satisfaction.
“Good enough for me.”
I think I just gave him the satisfaction. Eff the world.
“By the way Sage, you’re good at it, so you shouldn’t be ashamed.” He started kissing my neck, and I automatically pushed him away.
“Oh don’t you try to make me un-mad. That’s not going to work.” I got up and sat across from him.
He gave me the most innocent looking face. “I wasn’t trying to do that. I was trying to get you to work your magic with that mouth of yours again.”
My mouth fell open. “You filthy little…”
He raised his eyebrows. “Yes…filthy little what…”
“You know what…you’re sleeping alone tonight.”
He eyed me. “No, I’m not.”
“Yes you are. I’m not sleeping with you.”
“I’ll find someone else to sleep with then.” He tried to act hurt.
“Who, your mom?” I smirked.
“Now that was uncalled for.” He pouted.
And Sage has won yet again.