Broken Glass and Bleeding Hearts

“I wish I could drink. At least if I was drunk then I wouldn’t care about how shitty the day was.” I whispered to Matt the following night. He chuckled and nodded his head in agreement. School had been hell, I’d had to face Dalton asking if I was sick or something, and now I sat at a rehearsal dinner when I felt like being in bed asleep.

Angelica had turned on bitch-mode to high from the moment I saw her, trying to get back at me for breaking her nose. Somehow she’d even caught wind of news that my “father” was back in town which no doubt meant that she’d be plotting to tell Matt some bullshit story that I’d be exactly like him when I got older. She’d even managed to shake Zacky from staying on her case after she left the school today.

Feeling extremely uncomfortable in it I pulled the dress down again, knowing that it hadn’t even started riding up. I guess the plus side of the night was that I can’t ever remember seeing my aunt this happy and excited. It isn’t that I’m not happy for her, I’m thrilled for her, she’d never done so well being alone, but I’m not looking forward to the wedding. To be specific I am not looking forward to wearing that thing that is hanging in the closet at home.

A new problem had also arose today. After making sure that I wasn’t sick Dalton had informed me that they might be staying in Huntington for a while, at least a few months. The prospect of seeing the half-brother that I’d only gotten to see a handful of times was great, but knowing that the man who had walked out on my mom and I when I was two made it not worth it for me.

“Aunt Angie I’m going to bail on you, I’m sorry. I had a long day at school and I’m about to fall asleep.” I whispered, making her stand up and wrap me in a hug.

“Okay sweetie. I’ll see you tomorrow. I love you.”

“I love you too.” Matt drove me home and offered to wait until I could change and join him at the spot with the guys but I didn’t feel like it. I headed directly for my bedroom and changed into my pajamas, crawling under the covers as soon as I was finished. Even though I felt tired I knew that I wouldn’t be going to sleep anytime soon. My mind was too filled with things to allow sleep yet.

One memory seemed to be pushing so powerfully that it was hard to block it out. It was the same one that I’d spent the last two years blocking out. Tonight was different though, I was too emotionally drained to fight it. So instead I rested my head on the pillow and just let myself dive into it.

“What are you doing here?” I heard my mom’s angry voice as I walked down the stairs. It was a Friday night so it baffled me that anyone would be at the door this late. It wasn’t a friend of my mom’s or she wouldn’t have been angry, which also ruled out my friends.

“I’m here to see Ellie, to let him meet Ellie. He’s been asking about her and I can’t stop or make him shut up.” The male voice sounded cold, cruel and heartless even. Not wanting to enter the living room I stood in the stairs and listened for a hint as to who our visitor was.

“What if she doesn’t want to see you? Then what? Are you going to make her? Do you really expect to leave and then just come back 12 years later to have her willing to even look at your face?” Sucking in a deep breath I walked into the living room to face the man I couldn’t remember. There he stood in the door way with a boy who looked a few years younger than myself.

“Who are you?” My mom’s attention was now focused on me. He looked at me completely emotionlessly, and just stared. It was as if I was just some random teenager that was nothing to him, but that was actually what I was. He’d lost the right to call himself my dad the second he walk out that doorway. The boy at his side was a different story, he was looking at me like I was the person he’d been looking for.

“You know who I am. This is Dalton, your half-brother. He has been wanting to see you since he found out that you were alive.” His voice held no regret, not an ounce of remorse, but I didn’t expect it to.

“Hello Dalton, nice to meet you. If you want to see me sometime then come back without your father. How about you go wait in the car right now though. I need to take something up with him.” The boy nodded and ran back to the rental car that was parked on the side of the street.

“What do you want to talk about with me? I don’t have time for this.” I glared at him, not allowing any of my feelings to leak through and alert him.

“It won’t take long at all. You left 12 years ago because we didn’t mean anything to you, now you show up here out of the blue. I want one thing from you and one thing only, it should be easy for you to do too. You will leave this house right now and you will never come back, for any reason. If you do I will personally call the cops just so I have something to do other than kick your sorry ass. Leave, right now.”

I rolled over onto my right side with a sigh. That had been the easy part of the memory, the hardest was the next part. With a deep breath I braced myself for it and let it into my mind for the first time.

I didn’t know who would answer the door but I really didn’t care. The tears were still leaking from my eyes and no matter what I did I couldn’t stop them. I heard someone unlock the door before it opened it, revealing Matt’s dad. “Sweetheart what is wrong?” He asked, worry heavy in his tone.

“He showed up! 12 years later he comes back and he doesn’t even regret leaving! It was like I was just another person or something, he didn’t even look at me with any emotion what so ever.” Recognition flooded Mr. Sanders’ face as he understood what I meant.

“He isn’t a parent Ellie, that is why. He doesn’t care about anyone besides himself. I promise you one thing though, he had absolutely no right to show up and put you through anything like that. It was just to upset you.”

“I have a half-brother apparently. Why did he stick around for him but not for mom and I? Why wasn’t I good enough to be loved?

I stared at the ceiling of my bedroom with the lights off. A year ago and I wouldn’t have been able to see anything in here with the lights off, now it was like there was a nightlight illuminating the room for me. I’d always expected to cry when I finally dove back into that night but I didn’t even feel like it. All I felt was a numbness, which was an odd relief for me.

Spending months at a time blocking out thoughts of what if and the fact that I had a half-brother could be exhausting. I take that back it usually was exhausting, but it was worth it in the end. Life was easier if I tried not to think about it. In the beginning I’d tried my best to apply that theory to the Angelica situation but it just didn’t work there.

It was impossible to go a day without thinking about the fact that she was up to something evil. But then again I couldn’t and didn’t expect much. After all I did have nightmares about her virtually every night.

A large part of me really wished that I could turn time back at least a year. Just to go back to the point in life before it was complicated. Back to a time when the word seemed normal again. Everything had been so much easier and much more simple before the whole vampire issue came into play.

***

“You have to hold still.” My mom repeated for the tenth time to my aunt. The hair stylist was having problems trying to finish her hair because she was moving around too much. I giggled and returned my attention to Interview With A Vampire, flipping the page again.

The plus side of this part of the day was no one other than the rest of the wedding party had saw me in the dress. The down side being I am already in the damn thing. I kept getting weird looks from everyone since I was reading a vampire book but I was far beyond caring.

“I’m too excited to hold still though!” Everyone except for my mom and I laughed at this, finding it extremely funny. My mom sighed and ran a hand down her face. I shook my head and tried to block out the rest of the sound.

“I swear to God you are more energetic than Ellie was on her first day of school.” My mom took a seat and adjusted the shoes again. I smirked to myself thinking about how I’d gotten out of the annoying pink shoes. Thank God my aunt ordered them a size too small; I preferred the black boots I got to wear so much more.

“Is that really a fair comparison?”

“I think it is the perfect comparison Aunt Angie. I was actually excited that day, something I’m sure mom has grown to miss. Ah the days when it didn’t take an hour to wake me up that morning.”

“You two don’t even try and gang up on me today.” I rolled my eyes and let my eyes wander back to the page. I wanted to get this over with and it was taking what felt like forever. Unfortunately I was very low on patience today. “Oh my God there is only ten minutes left.”

“That long? Really? I thought it would’ve been sooner.” As usual my aunt mistook my sarcasm as agreement, and nodded her head as she paced back and forth.

“Just think Ellie, you’ll be next in the family line for this.” It never ended did it?

“Oh no I won’t be.” I closed my book and slipped it into my mom’s purse. My aunt was still pacing as she thought of what to say next.

“Lets say the day comes for you and we’ll go with Matt. You will say no?”

“Even hypothetically that wouldn’t happen until at least my thirties. Continuing with this hypothetical situation it would be at the court house. End of story.”

“You’ll change your tune one of these days, you mark my words.”

“Fine then. 75 bucks says I don’t.”

“Gambling is illegal, especially for you.” I rolled my eyes and followed my mom out of the room.

***

“Just say it.” I whispered as Matt met me in the parking lot of the hotel. He was looking at the dress then my face, holding in either a scream or laughter.

“I never thought I’d live to see the day.” I glared at him as he pretended to act innocent.

“Try and take pictures and you won’t live through the day. How about that one?” He grabbed my hand as we walked towards the door, trying to suck-up no doubt.

“I promise that I won’t take any pictures, or even tell the guys about this in detail. I cross my heart even.” I nodding in approval at this, knowing that meant it. It had been days since I’d accessed a certain part of his mind but we still hadn’t even talked about it.

The day after Dalton had showed up I did have to explain a few things to both him and Jimmy. The first had been exactly why I had allowed myself to become so weak without saying anything to either of them. The second had been what had happened in my latest nightmare. The final thing had been if I had any idea what it could have meant.

It seemed the my secret keeping was rapidly expanding. My mom only knew the lighter part of the story, I didn’t want her worried after all. Star was blissfully clueless about all of it. Now it had even expanded to Matt, who knew nothing about how much the only memory of my so-called father was getting to me. The truth was it was starting to wear on me and they were all seeing that there was something that they didn’t know.

What could possibly be the worst news so far I’d only learned yesterday. Angelica had somehow figured out about Zacky and she was now finding ways to avoid him. If she found a way to get around him completely then I would be left completely in the dark when it came to knowing what to expect.

There was also something new I had to worry about, something that was terrifying to think about. We had no idea who it was but Angelica had a partner. Someone who was most likely gathering information and doing her dirty work when she couldn’t risk being caught. Zacky had even managed to sort back through every memory he had of New Years Eve and when he came back blank of any memory of seeing her he’d concluded something, her partner had drugged my drink.

When he first told me on Wednesday I didn’t want to believe it. It was on yesterday when he presented the proof that she had a partner and that she knew he was following her. There had been a note stuffed in his locker that read “I’m not working alone but you’ll never figure out who is working with me. Try not to waste all your time on this. There is no need for you to be brought into this as it is.”

I had made Zacky promise me that Matt would be left out of this for the time being. There wasn’t any sense in making Matt worry about it any more than he already was. It had been a huge relief when Zacky had agreed with me and promised to keep it a secret until it was necessary to tell anyone else.

During the reception it was too easy for my mind to wander. It was nice that it didn’t wander back to the same thing it had been for days. But because it was my mind it did go back to another night I didn’t care to remember.

The feeling of eyes on me as I slept was what woke me up. It wasn’t exactly unusual that I was woken up by either my mom, Matt, or Star staring at me, but this wasn’t the usual scenario. “Well finally, I thought you’d never wake up. Did you have fun with Matt tonight?” Her voice sounded extremely polite tonight, nice in a way that was sinister.

“What the hell are you doing here Angelica? Better yet how in the hell did you get in my bedroom?” I asked as she stood up from her spot on the foot of my bed. I sat up and watched her feeling so calm that it frightened me. If anything I should be panicking right now but I wasn’t.

“I came to talk to you. Thought the window. You really should lock it. Now are you going to tell me how your evening with Matt was before I explode out of curiosity? Although you might enjoy that just a little bit. It’s a shame really, if life was different we could have been great friends. Funny how these things work out isn’t it?”

“Why would you want to talk to me? I usually do I just forgot to do it tonight. It was great, not that its any of your business. Well I’m not going to lie, I probably would enjoy it just a little bit. I guess your right on that one. But it isn’t possible since you are determined to break Matt and I up, even down to our friendship.”

“Try not to take that too personally Ellie. In due time all will be explained. Trust me though, if the roles were reversed and it was your friend Star in your place I’d be doing the same thing. I’m a bitch and I openly admit that, I might even be a little proud of it. I must say though you are quite the impressive girl yourself. To an extent I admire your strength and willingness to fight for the people who are important to you.”

“Save it Angelica. You know that you aren’t going to win this. Maybe you should just give up now,” She interrupted me with a laugh before I could continue. “What is so funny now? I find nothing funny about this at all.”

“Its funny because I will win honey. I haven’t even gotten started with you two yet. You see I am rather sadistic. I enjoy bringing pain, fear, and worry to others. All of which I am sure you are experiencing already which makes this all the more fun. There is only one way you’ll win and that would be to kill me.”

“How do you figure that?”

“Because, if you don’t kill me you will lose. I want him and I will do anything to get him. I’m going to kill you if I have to, and if Matt refuses me then I’ll kill him too.”