Kenzie Is Ballin'

My music so loud
I'm swangin'
They hopin' that they gon' catch me ridin' dirty
Tryin to catch me ridin' dirty

"Where are you taking me, fiend?" Pete spat at her, his body wrapped up in coils of rope. It would have been extremely easy to get out, but Pete is dumb as a rock, so eh. Sucks for him.

"I'm taking you to...MY EVIL LAIR!!" Kenzie let out a evil laugh.

"But why?" Pete cried emo tears. "And turn off that damn rap music. I don't like Chamillionaire."

Kenzie stopped the car in front of a dingy motel room.

"NO! PLEASE DON'T RAPE ME!!" Pete cried and flopped around in the backseat.

Kenzie whipped around. Pete stared at her. "Why would I want to do that?? It's like doing it with a mirror." She scoffed.

"What do you mean...?" Obviously Ashlee was not giving Pete any lovin'.

"I look like you, douchebag!" She rolled her eyes at his stupidity.

"Look, I'll give you money, riches, sex, anything!" Pete cried more emo tears.

"You just told me not to rape you, retard."

"Oh yea... JUST NOT THE SEX THEN." It was quite obvious now that Ashlee was holdin' out.

"Um...awkward squierral time..." Kenzie muttered and coughed.

"So..." Pete mumbled.

"Your plane ticket now."

"What??"

"I need a trip back to California duh!"

~

We won't even know what happened to Pedo Pete, but Kenzie was on her way to Los Angeles.

~

"Mr. Wentz." The chaffer opened the door to the limo for Kenzie.

"Thanks man!" Kenzie slapped his ass. Oh well. It was obvious that Pete was gay.

Riding up to Pete's house, it was amazing.

Ashlee (eye roll) came out with her giant boobs because of the baby and all.

"PETE! YOU'RE HOME!! YAY!" She gave Kenzie an awkward hug.

How pathetic. His own wife couldn't even tell that it was him.

"We're over." Kenzie grumbled.

"Wha-wha-what?" Ashlee was on the verge of tears. "What about the baby??"

"Eh, have Jessica take him. We all know she ain't getting any. Plus you named him Bronx Mowgli. Who the fuck does that??" Kenzie scoffed.

Kenzie scrolled through Pete's phone. (Oh yeah, she took it while she was raping him.)

"But Peteeeee." Ashlee cried.

"I HAVE A VAGINA. I DON'T WANT YOURS UP ON IT." Kenzie cried, and got back into the car.

~

"Pete, when I heard that Ashlee broke up with you, I didn't believe it!" Patrick opened the door to his small apartment and let in Kenzie.

So close to acheiving the plan.

Kenzie pinned Patrick agianst a wall.

"Oh." Patrick moaned out.

After an hour of hardcore sex, Patrick and Kenzie, I don't know...did stuff I guess...

o.o

Anyways...

"Patrick, you know I'm not Pete right?"

"Oh, I mean you did have a vagina...So I kinda figured..."

Kenzie laughed. "Oh yeah..."

"So what did you do to Pete?" Patrick questioned.

~

"HELP! HELP! HELP!!"

Pete Wentz was tied in a bathroom in Burger King.

~

Oh and Gabe and William and Brendon and Ryan had a huge orgy. HOW'S THAT FOR SEXUAL??