Oh So Genuine

~Dougie's POV~

I am such an idiot! Why didn't I just kiss her? I couldn't believe I was so close to kissing her and I chickened out because I thought about Chris would do if he found out. He scared the hell out of me when it came to him protecting her.

Although it wouldn't be half as bad as what he would do to Harry if he found out about them having sex. I still couldn't believe that they had. I mean I knew Spencer wasn't a virgin anymore, I don't know how I guess I could just tell, but the fact that Harry was her first was just shocking.

I will admit it, I was very jealous when they told me. It all finally made sense now. They had always been close but there was something about their relationship that made it so deferent than hers with the rest of us. And I now knew what it was.

These things raced around my head as I lay in bed at 2:56 in morning. The red numbers were glaring at me as I lay there wide awake. Adin and Spencer were in the bed next to mine and were, as far as I could tell, both sleeping.

About 20 minutes later there was some rustling coming from the next bed. The rustling was fallowed by a loud thump and some groaning. I sat up slightly and peered over the edge of the bed. There laying sprawled out oh her back was Spencer. I stifled a laugh, she glared at me and sat up slowly.

"Are you ok?" I asked.

"Just peachy. There is nothing like getting kicked in the gut and then pushed onto the floor at 3 in the morning." She said her voice dripping with sarcasm. We both looked over at her bedmate who was now sprawled out taking up all but a small portion of the bed.

"Is there room for me in there with you?" She asked. I could see the blush that was lightly spreading across her cheeks.

I smiled at her and nodded my head. I scooted over so she could lay down. I suddenly was aware of every move my body made. The mattress sank down the slightest bit with the weight of her body. I could smell her. Her sent was heavenly. It smell like her perfume which had a flowery air to it.

"Why are you still up ?" She asked me. I was broke out of my thoughts and I looked at her face that way laying on the pillow next to mine.

"I have a lot running through my head. I just couldn't sleep." I answered. I was keeping the small fact that it was her that was really keeping my up.

" Care to share?" She was looking at me with a curious expression. "I'm awake now the least I could do is keep you company. Maybe help you with some of the things that are keeping you up."

"Most of it is just worries about tour. If it will good, will the fans like new stuff, that type of thing." I half-lied. I mean I was worried about that stuff but the main reason I was up was because of her. She didn't think of any of us like that, let alone me.

"Well to tell you the truth I wasn't really sleeping either." She confessed. I looked at her with a questioning glance. "I'm nervous also."

"What do you have to be nervous about?" I asked her.

"If I am going to screw this merch thing up, if your fans are going to like me." She smiled sheepishly.

"Well you won't screw it up and it doesn't matter if they don't like you because we like you and that is all that matters." I said matter-of-factly. She gave me a half-hearted smile. "Are you sure that is all that is bugging you?"

"Well there is one other thing that's been bugging me all night." She said sitting up. She was hiding her face from me.

I sat up and looked at her. I placed my pointer and middle finger under her chin and lifted her face up. She looked at me then diverted her eyes quickly.

"What is it?' I asked. Hoping she would tell me.

"It's not really important." She said trying to change the subject.

"Spencer just tell me I'm not going to judge you, if that is what you are worried about." I told her honestly.

"I know you wouldn't. you really want to know?" She asked.

I gave her a look that said ‘just tell me'.

"Well it's not really something I can tell you. I kind of have to show you." She said. She had a nervous look on her face. I was confused now.

She lightly pressed her lips to mine in a soft kiss. My lips tingled like electric shocks were going through them. I cupped her cheeks in my hands. I pressed my lips harder onto her, intensifying the kiss.

This is what I had wanted for the past few months. But as great as it felt there was something that felt so wrong. And as much as I was enjoying it I pulled away. When I opened my eyes I was met with her confused brown ones.

"What's wrong?" She asked thinking she had done something wrong.

"Spencer I can't do this. You are a great girl and I like you but it feels wrong going behind your brothers back. I'm sorry." I told her being completely honest.

"It's ok." I could tell my actions and words had hurt her. She laid down and turned her back to me.

O knew I had hurt her and I honestly hadn't meant to. I felt guilty about it immediately. I hated that things had to be so complicated because I was so afraid of what her brother would do if he found out." I really am sorry." I whispered to her. I laid down and tried to fall asleep.

I don't know how long I laid there but I finally fell into a restless sleep.

~Next morning~

I woke up around 10 and noticed that Spencer was no longer laying next to me. I plopped back down and rubbed my hands over my face. I was seriously the most idiotic person in the world. I had the chance to kiss her last night and I chickened out. And then she kisses me and I couldn't do it. Was there something wrong with me?

There was a knock on the door. I jumped out of bed and walked to the door. I was glad for the distraction no matter how small it may be. My thoughts were driving my insane. I opened the door and saw Tom standing there. Good, what I needed was some good advice.

"Hey we are getting ready to head to the bus so I was sent to come get you up." He said. I grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him into the room. I pushed him onto the bed. "Dougie you know I'm not like that."

"Tom shut up. I am going crazy I need to talk to you." I said not in the mood to be joking around.

"You ok man?" He asked suddenly serious.

"Ok I am going to tell you something and you can't repeat it. Okay?" I questioned.

"My lips are sealed." He said, motioning like he was locking his lips.

"Spencer and I kissed." I said flat-out.

"When?" he asked. His jaw was hanging slightly open.

"Last night, well really early this morning." I told him. "What am I going to do? I really like her but I am so afraid of what Chris will do if he finds out. And I think she thinks I don't like her."

"Why would she think that? I mean you kissed her back right?" He was clearly confused.

"Yeah I did, but then I told her I couldn't do it cause it felt wrong going behind her brother's back." I ran my hands through my already messy hair.

"Hmm that is a though one." He said. "I honestly don't blame you though. I don't know how Harry had not gone crazy with worry about Chris finding out."

"Yeah. I am going crazy and I only kissed her." I said being dead serious. Although this was rare with me, the guys knew to take whatever I said to heart if I was like this and said something.

"well I may be able to help you." He said with a mischievous look on his face.

"You have a plan?" I asked. I was needing a plan and anything was sounding good right about now.

"I think so and this may not work but it is worth a shot." He explained the plan to me and it loved it. "But we can do that I think you need to tell Chris. It's better to be upfront about it instead of him finding out some other way."

"Yeah I guess you are right." I said grabbing my cell. I quickly texted a 'I need to talk to you' to Chris and sat down. I was hoping this would end good, but I had a feeling that it wasn't going to be pretty.