The Catch

Why?

I can't believe my best friend is dead...

They keep saying it was a suicide. Alex would never commit suicide. Alex may have had issues, but she wouldn't have done that on purpose. Issues with depression, sure. Issues with other stuff, sure. Issues with the same thing that caused my best friend's death, yeah. But not suicide. She promised she'd be here. I can't stop saying "Alex", I'm thinking that if I keep saying it, Alex might hear me from heaven, calling my friend back, Alex might return. But Alex isn't coming back. Alex left me all alone, and only just after the idiot had told me about the damn issues. It's really actually pretty tragic. Alex was only just starting to seek help... Her real name was Alexa, but she'd kill me if she heard me saying that name... Alex hated the name Alexa.

Alex only just told me about all that shit a week before she died. I should have gotten her help, but I thought I could help her through it. I guess not. But I swear to god, it wasn't suicide. Alex had always supported me through all my hard times, she'd always told me that wasn't the answer.

Now I'm at a loss again without her here to guide me. I can feel myself slipping again... but this time I won't have those thoughts. She would hate that. "I am not afraid to keep on living, I am not afraid to walk this world alone." No words could be less accurate describing my emotions. I'm terrified. But I will keep on living, for Alex.