The Stars Are Fading Away

Just sit back
And tell me I'm a
Liar for this

I skipped down the stairs from my class. My sophomore year of college had just started a week ago, and Wren was taking me back to my dorm.

"Someone's in a good mood, I guess."

I turned around and saw a guy from my class, Daniel.

I smiled. "Yeah, I am. No reason."

"On the first week of school? Are you crazy?"

"Some might say." I laughed, and pushed open the door. "See you tomorrow!"

"Bright and early." He rolled his eyes.

I laughed and spotted Wren's car. I jogged up to it and dropped my bag in before sitting down in the passenger seat.

"Hey."

"Hi, Wren!" I smiled and leaned over to kiss him on the cheek. I waved to Daniel as we pulled away from the curb.

The car was silent until we got about a block away from my dorm. Wren broke the silence.

"So, who was he?"

"A guy from my class. His name is Daniel, he seems nice," I answered. It seemed like Wren was holding something back.

"Hmm."

We pulled into the parking lot. Wren leaned back in his seat.

"Are you sure you're not sleeping with him behind my back?" His eyes didn't look at me, they stayed staring straight out the windshield.

"What?" I was shocked. He had never been like this before. He had been jealous, but only with good reason.

"Wren… I would never do that. I couldn't. I love you," I said quietly.

"Don't lie to me, Amber," he said, still staring at the brick wall of the building.

"Wren. I'm not lying. I would never, never do that to you." My eyes started watering and I wiped the tears away before they could fall.

He finally turned his head to face me. "I'm not an idiot. I can see what's going on."

"Wren!" Tears were streaming out of my eyes. I made no effort to wipe them away. "Wren I–"

"NO! SHUT UP!" I heard his shout and his fist flew out from nowhere. It made contact with my jaw. The momentum caused my head to crash into the side window.

I couldn't think. All I felt was the pain swirling in my head. I knew in reality the punch would not have hurt that much. But this was not reality. Wren wouldn't do this to me. Not my Wren…

When I lifted my head, Wren was still staring straight out of the window, smoking a cigarette. He didn't acknowledge me as I picked up my bag and opened the door, trying to hold back sobs. Just as I was about to shut it, he spoke up.

"I love you."

His eyes bored into mine. More tears fell as I murmured "I love you too." I turned and hurried into the building. Grace turned to greet me, and her cheerful face fell.

"Oh my god! Amber, what the hell happened to you?" she questioned with a concerned face.

"I…" the real answer was on the tip of my tongue. But I couldn't tell her. "I tripped on the stairs and hit my face on the handrail."

She accepted the lie with a sympathetic smile. I was surprised with myself. I had lied very convincingly.

"Wow, some fall."

"Yeah," I muttered as I hurried up the stairs to my room. I dropped my bag just inside the door and turned down the hall towards the bathroom. I stared at my face in the mirror. There was a lump on the side of my head where it hit the window. It wasn't noticable. It would go away over the night. The other side of my face, along my jaw was a bright red. A bruise was starting to form and it was already swollen. It hurt to move my mouth. I could almost see an imprint of his knuckles if I looked hard enough.

This would be impossible to cover up. It was too big, the bruise would be to dark. I didn't even own any foundation or cover up. in the first place.

I stared sadly at my face. My eyes were slightly puffy from crying, and the bruise was just getting darker and darker.

All of this was because of him.

I thought about how it was because of him. I thought how I should leave him. How I should call the police. How I should hate him for the rest of my life.

But that wasn't how I reacted. I loved him. And what he did to me didn't change that.

I started to feel unsteady on my feet. I leaned against the sink and pressed my forehead to the cool mirror.

What if he did it again? What if he did something worse?

I hated myself, for the only answer I could come up with to these questions.I didn't care what he did to me. I loved him.

I hated myself for loving him.