The Stars Are Fading Away

I want to do more than just hold you

More tears poured down my cheeks. He still didn't understand.

"Mason, I can't. I've told you."

"You can't still love him. Not after this."

"I do, Mason."

"How?"

"I don't know. I don't know." I pulled myself away from him. I felt miserable.

"Amber, please. It would be so much better for you. It kills me to see you like this."

"How would it be better for me? I can't break up with him! I love him!"

"Amber, sometimes you have to give up something you want to for something you need. You can't keep living like this."

"You're right! Maybe I should just commit suicide!" I couldn't believe those words had left my mouth. I instantly regretted it.

"What?" Mason's voice was flat and hard.

"No, I didn't mean that, I–"

"Yes you did mean it! He's getting you to commit suicide! Amber–"

"No! I'm not suicidal, Mason! I said it because I say stupid things when I'm angry. That's all."

"I don't believe you. Amber, please–"

"No. I think you should leave."

"What?"

"I. Think. You. Should. Leave." I glared at him.

"Amber, why–"

"BECAUSE YOU DON'T GET IT! LEAVE! NOW!" I screamed at him.

He flinched and opened the door.

"I'll call you."

He closed the door gently and I threw myself onto the bed. I rolled over and buried my face in the pillow.

Mason was so nice. He cared about me. Why was I pushing him away, again?

I was so stupid. I was lucky Mason was putting up with me. If he left… I don't know how I would get through this. I probably would commit suicide.

Suicide. I had never thought about suicide before. I loved life. But now I had backed myself into a corner. Wren abused me. And Mason was right, I couldn't keep living like this. I couldn't keep running to Mason every time Wren did something else. I would snap after a while. It was no way to live. Mason wanted me to leave Wren, but I couldn't.

Why I couldn't would never cease to confuse me. Maybe I should start taking psychology.

I sighed. I wished I had never met Wren.

Mason's POV

Amber was pushing me away, again. Why did she keep doing this?

I walked down the stairs from her dorm room. There was a blonde girl with short hair at the bottom of the stairs. It seemed like she was waiting for someone.

"Is Amber okay? She hasn't been talking to me very much. You guys were screaming." Her head cocked to the side. "Are you Wren?"

"No." I ran a hand through my hair. I didn't want to talk to anyone right now.

"Care to tell me your real name?" She smiled.

"Mason."

"I'm Grace." She truck out a hand, and I reluctantly shook it. "I'm Amber's friend, she hasn't been herself lately. I hardly see her."

"Yeah, I know. Uh, listen, I have to get somewhere…"

"Oh, yeah that's fine, I was waiting for my date anyways. Bye!"

"Bye." I walked out to my car.

As soon as I started my car, I wondered if Amber had been serious about suicide. She had said it just slipped out because she was angry.

I really hoped she wasn't lying.

I hated to think Wren would make her do that. Hated wasn't a strong enough word. It made red flash over my vision, my jaw and fists clench. I wanted to hurt him.

But Amber wouldn't let me. I hated Wren for making her fall in love with him. For playing his sick game with her. I didn't hate her for loving him.

I could never hate Amber.