The Stars Are Fading Away

No one looks innocent

Mason's POV

I looked at Amber, curled up against Derrick's side. She was crying, but trying to be quiet. Derrick looked completely lost. I knew she hadn't told him what was going on.

"I don't think she wants to see you…" he said uncertainly.

I had done this to her, and it killed me.

I closed the door, and saw her relax. She thought I had left. I crossed the room and put my hand on her back, and her muscles tightened again.

I sighed and closed my eyes.

"Please just listen to me, Amber."

Derrick looked at me with questioning eyes. "Should I go?"

"No, you shouldn't," Amber growled stubbornly.

Derrick met my eyes and I nodded at him. He pried Amber's arms off him and got up to go to the door. He closed it behind him.

Amber curled herself into a ball, hugging her knees. I sighed and tried to get her to look at me, but she wouldn't. I stopped trying and kneeled down by her head. I pulled on her shoulder, trying to get her to face me.

She whirled around, and her face was a mess.

"Stop, Mason." Her voice was cold and sharp. I grabbed her hand before she could pull it away.

"Please just listen to me."

She glared at me. "I did listen to you."

"Look at it from my point of view, Amber. I knew you were a mess after finding out what he did. You didn't do anything for six days. You just sat there and thought. I was so worried about you. I thought you were…" I cut myself off before I could say suicidal. I closed my eyes and gathered my thoughts again. "I knew you were vulnerable. I knew you wanted to cheat on him, too."

"How?"

"What?"

"How did you know that?"

"I could just… tell. I don't know. You just sat there, and you looked angry sometimes. He had done the same thing he beats you for supposedly doing. Even if it's just an excuse, I'd want revenge."

She didn't say anything. I knew I was right.

"I like you way too much, Amber. I have for too long. I saw what you wanted, and I immediately took advantage of it for my own wants."

"I wanted it, too."

"Not as long as me."

Her eyes flashed with anger and she sat straight up.

"Why the fuck does time matter? Why can't you just forget about it like you want to? Stop trying to apologize. You didn't take advantage of me. Stop trying to convince me you did. I know how I feel about it, and it didn't feel like that. I know you would never do that to me. You didn't force me. I could have stopped it, but I didn't. Stop trying to take the blame. You're making it such a big deal. Just forget about it. I already have."

Her words stung. 'Just forget about it. I already have.'

"Do you really want me to that? Just forget? Pretend like it never happened?"

Her face's anger surface slipped for a second, before she picked it back up. "Yes." Her voice was hard, but I heard pain underneath the facade.

I wanted so badly to hug and comfort her, but I knew she didn't want my comfort.

"You don't really want that."

"Yes, I do! Don't tell me what I want!"

"I can tell, Amber. Even if you wanted me to, I never could. I can't get it out of my mind. It was the best night of my life."

Her face softened and she leaned down so she was closer to me.

"Would it be wrong if I said it was the best night of mine, too?"