The Stars Are Fading Away

Alone and far from home I'll find you

Mason's POV

I looked at the clock. It was almost 11:30 at night, and I was worried.

I’d been worried all day. Afraid for Amber. I checked the clock again. Did I really expect her to call me? Fletcher was probably around. She couldn’t call me when he was there. I wondered if I should risk calling her. I decided against it. I didn’t want him to hurt her.

But I still had a horrible feeling. Like something was very, very wrong. So I picked up my phone and called her.

No one answered. I tried to tell myself that she couldn’t answer, that nothing was wrong. I couldn’t shake the feeling. I called again.

And again.

I was frantic by the time I’d called her the twelfth time. It was midnight. The feeling had only grown stronger.

I was probably being paranoid, but I couldn’t take chances when it came to Amber. I couldn’t risk her.

Derrick was gone, out clubbing. Bryce was with Rebecca. Coby was probably at a bar, too.

Derrick’s plans could wait. He knew Fletcher better than me. I called his number, pacing the room.

“Yeah?”

“Derrick, I’m worried. I’ve been worried all day.”

“Yeah, I have, too. I don’t get why she doesn’t just let us…”

“No. She’s not picking up. It’s probably nothing, but I… I have this horrible feeling. Something’s wrong.”

There was silence, except for the loud sounds of music and talking.

“I…” I could hear him hesitating, wondering what to do. Trying to reason it out. He sighed. “I’ll be right there.” He hung up, and I rummaged through my closet looking for a jacket. I paced the room, waiting for Derrick.

I heard the door open, and I walked out to the front room. Derrick was standing by the door, his face uncertain and strained with worry, probably what mine looked like, too. I grabbed my keys from the counter and walked out the garage door. Derrick followed me, and got in the passenger seat. I backed out of the garage.

“Where do you think we should go first?” Derrick asked.

“I’ll check her dorm. Run in, see if she’s there, and go back out. Then Fletcher’s apartment.”

Derrick nodded.

“Then, if she’s not there… Got any recommendations?”

“I know couple bars he likes.”

“Good.”

I drove to her dorm as quickly as I could. I pulled up to the curb and got out, leaving Derrick in the car. I took the stairs two at a time and jogged up to her room. I tried the door. It was unlocked. I opened it, and found the room empty. I closed the door again and ran back down the stairs and to the car.

“She there?”

“Nope.”

We drove in silence again, a tense, worried silence. I drove over the speed limit, pushing 45 in 30mph zones. I barely knew where his apartment was, but I found it.

“I’ll go, I know what room it is.”

I opened my door, too. “We’ll both go. I want to be there if he’s there.”

Derrick nodded, and I followed him up the stairs. He walked halfway down the hall, stopping at a door and pounding on it. There was no response. The crack under the door was dark. Derrick banged his fist against the door again, and several more times.

“I don’t think anyone’s there.”

“Let’s go. We’ll check the bars.”

We hurried back down the stairs, the tension becoming tight and uncomfortable.

I drove even faster, praying that no one would pull me over. Derrick directed me to one bar, in the trashy part of downtown. The street was lit by neon light, the sidewalks were covered with litter and people openly smoked pot. The snowfall was plowed up onto the sidewalks, making a dirty, slushy mess. We pulled up in a place that looked to be nearly empty.

“He likes this place?” I questioned, as we got out of the car.

“What did you expect?” He was right. I didn’t expect anything more of Fletcher, I actually expected less.

We walked inside and did a quick once-over of the place. The place was filthy and it smelled like smoke. Second-hand smoke. I didn’t want to stay too long; I’d quit smoking, finally. I turned to Derrick to tell him that it was empty, that we should go, but he shook his head. He walked up to the bartender, and leaned against the bar, talking to him and asking him something. The bartender looked like the kind of guy who would throw you out because you looked like a fag, or if you glanced at him wrong. Derrick walked back over to me, gesturing towards the door.

“What did you ask him?” I asked as we got in the car.

“Asked him if any skinny ass kid went into a back room. I described him in more detail, he said no.”

It made sense. “Nice call.”

He nodded, and I heard him mutter, “Where the fuck could she be?” He pulled on his hair, looking at the ground, concentrating. We got in the car with him still thinking. His head snapped up, suddenly.

“One place. It would… Be a good place…”

My brow pulled together. “For what?”

He shook his head. “Take a right here.”

I turned, still confused. I drove for a little, Derrick directing me into an even shittier part of town. I passed a run-down neighborhood, which started to turn more into a business place. As I looked around, I found it was deserted. I realized what Derrick meant.

A good place to kill her.

My foot pressed down on the accelerator abruptly, sending the car shooting foreword. Our seat belts locked quickly.

“What the hell! Mason, slow down, the place is coming up!”

I gritted my teeth and started letting up on the clutch. Our speed slowed, though we were still moving at least 30 miles per hour over the speed limit. Derrick swallowed, then pointed at a place.

“Here.”

I pulled up to the curb, putting the car in park and locked it. This was a kind of place where you could walk away and come back five minutes later, your car gone.

Derrick walked up to the small building, out of character from the tall buildings surrounding it. He swung open the door and a cloud of smoke came out. I cringed.

Derrick looked back at me. “Believe me, it’s not tobacco.”

I walked in after Derrick. The place was more crowded, but less loud than the other places we’d checked. A bunch of big, old men, tattooed and unshaven, drinking away their troubles. I quick glance told me Fletcher wasn’t here. I looked at Derrick, and he nodded. We walked out.

Derrick leaned against the building. He put his head in his hands, thinking for a moment. His hands then clenched his hair.

“I don’t know. I don’t know where–” his face contorted, helplessness and worry overriding everything else.

“Maybe we should check the alleys?” He got what I was implying, but neither of us wanted to voice it.

Derrick nodded, agreeing out of worry and out of nothing else to do. If she wasn’t here, I didn’t know where she was. I was scared as hell, but I kept a hard face. I couldn’t panic. Staying calm would help us find her.

“Split up?” Derrick called.

“Sure, yeah.” I shook my head as if that would clear it. I told Derrick he could take this side, I’d take the other. I crossed the street carefully. There were almost no streetlights, and people tended to speed when they had no respect for the law.

I walked the block, peering down alleys, walking down them if it was dark. I found nothing. Nothing. Not any trace, not anything. I suppressed my growing panic, hoping and praying to God we would find her. We had to. I told it to myself over and over. We would find her. She would be alright.

“MASON!” My head snapped up. “MASON, I FOUND HER!”

I broke into a sprint, running towards Derrick’s voice. He was standing in the entrance to one of the many alleys, staring blankly at something. I jogged up to him, looking where he was looking.

It was her. It was Amber.

She was unconscious.

I ran to her, dropping down to my knees at her side.

“Call 911,” I breathed, and Derrick immediately pulled out his phone.

I felt so helpless. I was afraid to touch her.

What if she was dead? No. She couldn’t be.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and picked her up. I carried her to the street, and I could finally see her form in the better light.

Her chest was rising lightly. I knew how to take a pulse, but I fumbled. My hand was shaking. I pressed two of my fingers under her jaw and it was there, strong and steady.

I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. I could suddenly hear, and see other things besides her. Relief washed through me.

“No signal,” Derrick said, flipping his phone shut. “She’s okay? She has to be okay.”

“She’s alive,” I managed to say.

I could tell Derrick desperately wanted to see if she was okay for his himself, but he took my word.

“I’m gonna go get a phone,” he said, breaking out in a jog. He ran towards the bar; it looked like the only business that was open.

I flipped open my phone, checking the time. Almost two in the morning. I wondered how long she had been here for. I realized she must be cold, no matter how long she’d been laying there. I walked toward my car and opened the back door, laying her on the seat. I draped my jacket over her and put the keys in the ignition, turning the heat up.

I looked at her face. Her lips were almost blue.

I killed me to see her like this. I reached out my hand and brushed my fingers against her face. She didn’t stir.

I felt a tear slid down my cheek and it dropped onto her shirt. I felt more tears coming, but I wiped them away.

Derrick wasn’t back yet, but since he was probably using a landline I didn’t expect him. I hoped the ambulance would come soon.

I’d never felt jaded in my life, ever. Never felt numb. But now, everything was overwhelming me. When it came to Amber, all my emotions were out on a plate in front of me. It was distracting. I’d gotten used to hiding my feelings long ago, and the habit was suddenly changing, and changing drastically. I felt another tear fall, and I didn’t make a move to wipe my face. More came, and soon I was full-out crying.

I placed my hands on top of the car and leaned my forehead against the doorframe.

I had to believe she would be okay. It was the only was I would get through this. I closed my eyes.

I don’t know how long I stood there. The only thing I reacted to was the sounds of sirens. I heard them when they were still at a distance and my head instantly turned to them. Getting closer, and fast.

Derrick suddenly appeared beside me.

“They’re coming.” He placed a hand on my back and squeezed my shoulder. “You okay?”

“No.” I looked towards the place where I knew the ambulance would emerge. Derrick nodded.

“Me too.” He removed his hand from my shoulder just as the ambulance rounded the bend. I looked up the rest of the way, trying to stay alert. I was drained. I had survived on the adrenaline for this long, and now I was completely exhausted.

The vehicle screeched to a stop in front of us, paramedics poured out.

Derrick lifted Amber out of the car and I saw them run to get a stretcher. One stopped to look at me.

“Do you feel okay? You look pale.” I shook my head. “Your girlfriend?” he asked, being sympathetic. I smiled masochistically.

“Something like that,” I whispered even though it was a lie. It wasn’t anything like that.

He smiled again, still sympathetic. I hated sympathy. “You want to ride with us?”

I nodded. Even though I hated it, I could milk it. I climbed in the back where they had loaded Amber and the stretcher after speaking with Derrick, telling him to drive home or to the hospital, whichever. I didn’t care. He said that if I didn’t mind, he’d go home. I told him to go ahead.

They closed the door after me. The sirens started again, and we screamed off towards the hospital.

It was still like a dream, a horrible nightmare to me.