I Never Said I Was Brave
I Never Said I Was Brave
We never met, you and I
We were always inside
We were somewhere inside one another
And I’ll live without you love but
What good is one glove without the other?
He found himself there again. The same place his weary feet always carried him when he needed to get away from everything, when he needed to remember, regardless of how much it hurt. It seemed the pivotal moments of their relationship had taken part here, a site of transit, of saying goodbye and being reunited with loved ones. He nearly smiled to himself at the irony, as he climbed the steps of the train station, the sound of his footsteps echoing against the cold brick walls. He passed by the ticket booth, the vendor eyeing him from within his glass box. He knew his face, he had seen him here many times before, always sitting on the last bench at the far end of the station, alone, never buying a ticket. He was probably wondering what was so interesting about this particular place, that particular bench. He was probably wondering why someone would come here as often as he did, and never catch a train.
It wasn’t something he cared to explain. The wounds were already there, but he feared that if he spoke, everything would become concrete and real, set in stone, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to handle it. He knew he was already broken beyond repair, but by keeping this to himself, by denying the gravity of what had happened, he could at least preserve some shards of his shattered heart. It was hers. All he had left of her, and he couldn’t let it go.
He sat down at the last bench, gazing off into the distance, lost in thought, as the sun slowly approached the horizon.
‘The last bench, wise choice. There’s never anyone in the end carriages.’
He glanced up as he realised she was talking to him. Those eyes. As soon as he saw them he knew he would never forget them. They were the most piercing blue he had ever seen, like they were staring into your soul, imploring you, delving into the deepest and darkest recesses of your mind. She smiled, and he couldn’t take his eyes off her. She was beyond description.
‘Uh…hello?’ She giggled.
‘Oh…uh…sorry,’ he blushed. He had been staring. ‘Yeah, uh, I’m not such a big fan of being squashed up next to total strangers,’ he managed to form a coherent sentence, nervous under her gaze.
‘Mmm, me neither,’ she sighed, as her eyes momentarily glazed over. She snapped out of it and introduced herself. Her name was just as heavenly as her.
‘Nice to meet you.’ He returned her angelic smile with a goofy grin. A few moments passed when he noticed she was giving him an expectant look.
‘Oh! Sorry!’ He mentally slapped himself for being so obvious, as he introduced himself as well.
They had spent their whole train ride that day, talking to each other, finding out they had loads in common. He smiled to himself as he recalled how easy it was to talk to her, how he felt he could trust her instantly. He’d never experienced that before, he was normally so guarded around people, but something about her made him want to tell her everything, leaving no part of himself hidden from the gaze of those deep blue eyes.
His thoughts were interrupted as a voice came over the intercom, announcing the arrival of a train in two minutes.
‘That’ll be my train’. She looked at him with a small smile, a hint of sadness flickering in her eyes. She was leaving for three months, staying on the other side of the country with her uncle while her parents jet-setted around the globe.
‘I’m going to miss you’. She approached him, taking his hands in hers. Her hands were so soft, her warmth invading him as he looked back at her, trying not to let her see the tears forming in his eyes. They had been best friends for over a year now. Best friends, nothing more. He glanced up at the clock over her shoulder, noticing there was only a minute left before her train arrived. She let go of his hands as she stepped back slightly, but he quickly caught them again, pulling her closer.
‘There’s something I have to tell you,’ she gazed up at him expectantly, a small smile playing across her lips.
‘Yes?’
‘I love you.’
‘I know, I love you too’
‘No…I love you’
Her eyes widened slightly as he bent his head down to kiss her cheek. He shut his eyes, too nervous to see her reaction as he drew closer. He felt the warm touch of her hand against his head, and before he knew it, their lips connected, erasing all his doubts, his heart soaring with joy.
She nearly missed the train that day. Only at the last minute had they realised the train was already there, the other passengers already on board. He smiled at the memory of her hurriedly grabbing her bags and rushing inside, never losing his gaze as the doors closed and the train sped off. He could see the tears streaming down her face through the tinted window. Those three months were hell without her.
A train rushed past, blowing his hair into his eyes.
She reached over and brushed his hair behind his ears.
‘It’s so windy and cold here, silly, can’t we go back to the car?’
He wrapped her arms around his body and zipped up his jacket around the two of them. They were standing on the platform where they first met, the sun just about to set on the horizon. The dying rays of the sun settled on the pair, casting a shadow of their entwined form far out behind them. He pulled her closer, their noses almost touching. The soft light from the setting sun reflected off the tiny facets in her eyes, setting alight, imprinting themselves in his memory. He could barely breathe. He never realised a moment could be so perfect, destined to forever haunt his mind.
‘This is where we met’
‘We never met, you and I. You were always a part of me. I just had to find you.’
She leaned in closer, their lips barely touching. In that moment, they breathed for one another, fitting together like two halves of a perfect whole.
‘Don’t ever leave me…don’t you ever…or I’ll…I…’
She shushed him, noticing the slight tone of fear in his eyes.
‘I…’
‘I won’t. I couldn’t. I promise’ she barely whispered, silencing him as their lips melted together.
He had given her everything, exposed every part of himself that he hid away from the rest of the world, suppressing his fear that she would see some flaw and reject him. Had he known the same wasn’t true for her, that there was a part of her that she kept deep inside, that not even those deep blue eyes revealed, it might never have happened. Why didn’t she just trust me? A hot tear ran down his check, but he brushed it away angrily. He suddenly became aware of a presence near him, his eyes snapping open.
She was in front of him again, sitting on the bench, one hand resting gently on his knee.
‘I…you…?’
She pressed a finger tip to his lips, silencing him. He shivered at her touch. Her skin was cold, too cold. Her cheeks, once lightly tanned and rosy were now sickly pale, sunken into her features. Her hair no longer danced in the breeze, instead lay limp and dirty around her face. Her eyes no longer possessed the fire and light they once shone with, instead retreating to a dull grey. Her hands shook as she brushed the hair out of his face once again. Her eyes delved into his, imploring him, begging forgiveness.
He couldn’t believe it. She was here, right here, in front of him, but…
It was then that he noticed the blood. It matted her hair and dripped slowly down the curves of her face, trailing down her neck and outlining the shape of her collarbone. His gaze fell downwards, and he noticed the gleaming metal of the gun from underneath her hand, poised carefully in her lap. Oh God. Her eyes pleaded with his, as angry tears overflowed, streaming down his face.
‘How c…could…YOU PROMISED!’
He tried to breathe, as pure anger and panic overwhelmed him, but his throat choked up, leaving him gasping for air. His body convulsed with angry sobs, as his clutched at his hair, rocking back and forth. How could she? We were meant to grow old together…She promised!
‘I…I never said I was brave,’ she whispered, her voice cracking. A solitary tear ran down her cheek as she looked upon the wretched form of her lover.
‘I’m sorry…I…I love you.’
But it was too late. She had taken his heart and turned it to glass, but it was now shattered into infinite pieces, each sharp splinter tearing up his insides, killing him slowly. He couldn’t bear to look at her. Not after what she did, not after what he had become because of her.
‘No you don’t,’ he barely whispered, his voice calmer now. He knew he loved her once, but he just couldn’t feel it anymore. He had poured his emotion into her, and now there was nothing left to give, just a shell of his former self. Her eyes widened in shock as he stood up, poisoning her with a look of total indifference. He could never forgive her.
‘But…’
‘Goodbye’
He turned on his heel, leaving her alone on the bench, disappearing into the shadows as the sun finally set.
We never met, you and I
We were always inside
We were somewhere inside one another
And I’ll live without you love but
What good is one glove without the other?
He found himself there again. The same place his weary feet always carried him when he needed to get away from everything, when he needed to remember, regardless of how much it hurt. It seemed the pivotal moments of their relationship had taken part here, a site of transit, of saying goodbye and being reunited with loved ones. He nearly smiled to himself at the irony, as he climbed the steps of the train station, the sound of his footsteps echoing against the cold brick walls. He passed by the ticket booth, the vendor eyeing him from within his glass box. He knew his face, he had seen him here many times before, always sitting on the last bench at the far end of the station, alone, never buying a ticket. He was probably wondering what was so interesting about this particular place, that particular bench. He was probably wondering why someone would come here as often as he did, and never catch a train.
It wasn’t something he cared to explain. The wounds were already there, but he feared that if he spoke, everything would become concrete and real, set in stone, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to handle it. He knew he was already broken beyond repair, but by keeping this to himself, by denying the gravity of what had happened, he could at least preserve some shards of his shattered heart. It was hers. All he had left of her, and he couldn’t let it go.
He sat down at the last bench, gazing off into the distance, lost in thought, as the sun slowly approached the horizon.
‘The last bench, wise choice. There’s never anyone in the end carriages.’
He glanced up as he realised she was talking to him. Those eyes. As soon as he saw them he knew he would never forget them. They were the most piercing blue he had ever seen, like they were staring into your soul, imploring you, delving into the deepest and darkest recesses of your mind. She smiled, and he couldn’t take his eyes off her. She was beyond description.
‘Uh…hello?’ She giggled.
‘Oh…uh…sorry,’ he blushed. He had been staring. ‘Yeah, uh, I’m not such a big fan of being squashed up next to total strangers,’ he managed to form a coherent sentence, nervous under her gaze.
‘Mmm, me neither,’ she sighed, as her eyes momentarily glazed over. She snapped out of it and introduced herself. Her name was just as heavenly as her.
‘Nice to meet you.’ He returned her angelic smile with a goofy grin. A few moments passed when he noticed she was giving him an expectant look.
‘Oh! Sorry!’ He mentally slapped himself for being so obvious, as he introduced himself as well.
They had spent their whole train ride that day, talking to each other, finding out they had loads in common. He smiled to himself as he recalled how easy it was to talk to her, how he felt he could trust her instantly. He’d never experienced that before, he was normally so guarded around people, but something about her made him want to tell her everything, leaving no part of himself hidden from the gaze of those deep blue eyes.
His thoughts were interrupted as a voice came over the intercom, announcing the arrival of a train in two minutes.
‘That’ll be my train’. She looked at him with a small smile, a hint of sadness flickering in her eyes. She was leaving for three months, staying on the other side of the country with her uncle while her parents jet-setted around the globe.
‘I’m going to miss you’. She approached him, taking his hands in hers. Her hands were so soft, her warmth invading him as he looked back at her, trying not to let her see the tears forming in his eyes. They had been best friends for over a year now. Best friends, nothing more. He glanced up at the clock over her shoulder, noticing there was only a minute left before her train arrived. She let go of his hands as she stepped back slightly, but he quickly caught them again, pulling her closer.
‘There’s something I have to tell you,’ she gazed up at him expectantly, a small smile playing across her lips.
‘Yes?’
‘I love you.’
‘I know, I love you too’
‘No…I love you’
Her eyes widened slightly as he bent his head down to kiss her cheek. He shut his eyes, too nervous to see her reaction as he drew closer. He felt the warm touch of her hand against his head, and before he knew it, their lips connected, erasing all his doubts, his heart soaring with joy.
She nearly missed the train that day. Only at the last minute had they realised the train was already there, the other passengers already on board. He smiled at the memory of her hurriedly grabbing her bags and rushing inside, never losing his gaze as the doors closed and the train sped off. He could see the tears streaming down her face through the tinted window. Those three months were hell without her.
A train rushed past, blowing his hair into his eyes.
She reached over and brushed his hair behind his ears.
‘It’s so windy and cold here, silly, can’t we go back to the car?’
He wrapped her arms around his body and zipped up his jacket around the two of them. They were standing on the platform where they first met, the sun just about to set on the horizon. The dying rays of the sun settled on the pair, casting a shadow of their entwined form far out behind them. He pulled her closer, their noses almost touching. The soft light from the setting sun reflected off the tiny facets in her eyes, setting alight, imprinting themselves in his memory. He could barely breathe. He never realised a moment could be so perfect, destined to forever haunt his mind.
‘This is where we met’
‘We never met, you and I. You were always a part of me. I just had to find you.’
She leaned in closer, their lips barely touching. In that moment, they breathed for one another, fitting together like two halves of a perfect whole.
‘Don’t ever leave me…don’t you ever…or I’ll…I…’
She shushed him, noticing the slight tone of fear in his eyes.
‘I…’
‘I won’t. I couldn’t. I promise’ she barely whispered, silencing him as their lips melted together.
He had given her everything, exposed every part of himself that he hid away from the rest of the world, suppressing his fear that she would see some flaw and reject him. Had he known the same wasn’t true for her, that there was a part of her that she kept deep inside, that not even those deep blue eyes revealed, it might never have happened. Why didn’t she just trust me? A hot tear ran down his check, but he brushed it away angrily. He suddenly became aware of a presence near him, his eyes snapping open.
She was in front of him again, sitting on the bench, one hand resting gently on his knee.
‘I…you…?’
She pressed a finger tip to his lips, silencing him. He shivered at her touch. Her skin was cold, too cold. Her cheeks, once lightly tanned and rosy were now sickly pale, sunken into her features. Her hair no longer danced in the breeze, instead lay limp and dirty around her face. Her eyes no longer possessed the fire and light they once shone with, instead retreating to a dull grey. Her hands shook as she brushed the hair out of his face once again. Her eyes delved into his, imploring him, begging forgiveness.
He couldn’t believe it. She was here, right here, in front of him, but…
It was then that he noticed the blood. It matted her hair and dripped slowly down the curves of her face, trailing down her neck and outlining the shape of her collarbone. His gaze fell downwards, and he noticed the gleaming metal of the gun from underneath her hand, poised carefully in her lap. Oh God. Her eyes pleaded with his, as angry tears overflowed, streaming down his face.
‘How c…could…YOU PROMISED!’
He tried to breathe, as pure anger and panic overwhelmed him, but his throat choked up, leaving him gasping for air. His body convulsed with angry sobs, as his clutched at his hair, rocking back and forth. How could she? We were meant to grow old together…She promised!
‘I…I never said I was brave,’ she whispered, her voice cracking. A solitary tear ran down her cheek as she looked upon the wretched form of her lover.
‘I’m sorry…I…I love you.’
But it was too late. She had taken his heart and turned it to glass, but it was now shattered into infinite pieces, each sharp splinter tearing up his insides, killing him slowly. He couldn’t bear to look at her. Not after what she did, not after what he had become because of her.
‘No you don’t,’ he barely whispered, his voice calmer now. He knew he loved her once, but he just couldn’t feel it anymore. He had poured his emotion into her, and now there was nothing left to give, just a shell of his former self. Her eyes widened in shock as he stood up, poisoning her with a look of total indifference. He could never forgive her.
‘But…’
‘Goodbye’
He turned on his heel, leaving her alone on the bench, disappearing into the shadows as the sun finally set.
We never met, you and I