Lockdown

Sebastian stepped carefully over to the weeping girl of his dreams. He knew that he had caused this by overreacting but he had no idea what to do to fix it. “I’m sorry,” was all he said for a minute.

Crusade finally looked up to him with cloudy eyes, “Sorry for being an ass? Or for wasting all that time on me? Because I know I’m sorry for the second.” She paused catching her breath for another round, “When you said all those things to me, I had no idea what to say. Just as you don’t know now. I was in complete and utter shock. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything but I want to thank you for finally helping me to get over you. I’ve been pining for you for so long and I needed a push to get past that fairy tale. So, I’m not mad at you, Sebastian. But would you do me a small favor?”

Sebastian just nodded, still letting her calm words sink in. “Could you get my notebook and pencil for me?”

His head hung after that as he stood to retrieve her things for her. She didn’t look up as he handed them to her so he just sat them next to her and walked back to the windows and sat. He didn’t talk, didn’t cry, just sat.

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Sebastian had no idea how long he sat there or how long Crusade sat alone. He knew it must have been a long time because it was getting darker outside. He understood now that the aching in his stomach was not just where the remnants of his broken heart fell but hunger.

The others were getting hunger also. Sebastian assumed there must be some kind of mini-fridge in the room somewhere. The students divided and searched for food.

Corey found it hilarious. It reminded her of something one would see on Animal Planet. Animals scavenging fervently for nourishment. She was more than ecstatic because she was with Kale. She’d have feelings for him for a while. Knowing Kale had the same feelings for her just made her heart explode. The past couple hours had gone by quickly, filled with heated conversation and feverish--well, other things.

She knew she needed to talk to Crusade but gave her some space. Once everyone stopped searching for food she would speak to her friend.

Eventually, it was Malcolm who found the small mini-fridge in a large filing cabinet. He also discovered almost a dozen cans of Campbell’s chicken noodle soup.

“Someone’s got a compulsive disorder.” Kale said at the sight. No one really cared though, as long as they had food for the night.

Crusade still sat on the floor when someone approached her. She looked up to find, not Corey, but Sebastian holding two bowls of soup just taken from the microwave. Her offered one to her and she took it, her head to the floor. Crusade expected him to leave with that, but instead he chose to sit next to her. She just looked at him. “I didn’t want to eat alone,” was all he said.

They ate in silence, stealing glances at each other occasionally. When they were finished they just sat their bowls on the counter in front of them.

Sebastian finally spoke, he stared right into her eyes, “Earlier, when we were sitting together I was so nervous. It took a lot for me to finally tell you how I felt about you. I kept telling myself how impossible it would be for you to return those feelings. When you didn’t say anything I honestly wanted to cry. I thought I had just embarrassed myself to a painful degree and she was trying not to laugh. But I couldn’t cry in front of you, that would just make things worse. So I got angry, I don’t even know where that all came from. I didn’t mean any of what I said to Kale about you, I was crushed. I completely understand if you never want to speak to me again, what I said was horrible. But, I only promise to leave you alone if you can look me straight in the face and tell me that you do not care for me at all.”

Crusade didn’t know what to say but she didn’t want to make him wait again. “I do!” she blurted out quickly, “Of course I still have feelings for you, very strong feelings, but I just don’t quite understand how to act around you. You’re so collected and I’m, well, not. I don’t know what to do right now because what you said before just reminds me of how much this could hurt. When I write I can think as long as I want about what I want to say, then if I don’t like it I can erase it and write it again. I can’t take back words that I’ve said or redo a whole scene. You can’t take back the pain you cause.”

“I can’t guarantee that you won’t get hurt. But I can promise that you will always wonder how this story would have ended if you cut me out now.”

Crusade knew what to do this time. Without a word she turned her shoulders to face him. She slowly took one last breath before leaning in to touch her lips to his.

Fireworks didn’t go off, just an enticingly delightful warmth spreading over them. The kiss was soft and sweet. Crusade pulled back to look at Sebastian who was just then opening his eyes. He looked into her eyes with love then pulled her into his arms gently and held her as if she would surely break. He kissed her head as she said three of the most beautiful words ever uttered, “I love you.” Sebastian replied, “I love you, too," into her hair. They both meant the world behind those three words.