I Find Myself in You

I didn't really know where I was driving to. I just knew I was seeing places I hadn't seen in years, and memories were flooding back to me. The park, the school, the dance studio, the theater, the places of my childhood. I laughed. I was only 17. Wasn't I kind of still a child in a way? I saw a Rita's Water Ice. I gasped, remembering the many hot nights of the summer my friends and me had spent there. It had always been my favorite part of the summer. And the first day of spring had become a religious holiday waiting for Rita's to give out free water ice. There had been no Rita's in California. This was part of my old life, part of the old me. I hadn't been to one in so long. I couldn't help but pull into the parking lot. If I wanted to find myself, I might as well start at the beginning.

I got behind the big line. I watched behind my sunglasses as the heads of almost everyone turned to look at me. I could see them whispering and pointing. I sighed, not so glad to see it was as packed as it always was. Unfortunately, that hadn't changed.

"What are they all looking at," a curly haired kid in front of me whispered to the boy next to him. He looked really familiar. Come to think of it, all three of the boys in front of me did. But where had I seen them? I smiled. Duh, Lainey. You went to school here for how many years? Of course you're going to see people you saw everyday in that stupid school.

"Me," the straight haired boy said loudly enough for everyone to hear, smirking. I noticed that all three of them were wearing hats and sunglasses that hid a lot of their face. "Didn't you know Nicky? I'm famous."

"For what," another curly haired kid smirked. "Were you on America's Most Wanted again?"

The kid smirked. "Why yes Kevo. They had me for being just too sexy for my own good." All three boys started laughing.

It wasn't until they all looked at me that I realized that I laughed out loud. I felt my cheeks turn red as they looked at me.

"Hi," the curly haired kid that had been called 'Nicky' said. "I'm Nick. You're—"

"Lainey Peters," the other kid shouted. "Oh man! I love you! I mean—" he cleared his throat. "You're okay."

"Smooth Joe," Nick said before turning back to me. "This psycho is my brother Joe. And that's Kevin. We all so love you."

I laughed. "Thanks."

"So Lane, can I call you Lane," Joe was talking quickly. I saw everyone in line turn their head slightly toward us. "What are you doing here? Are you moving back here? Do you think you could introduce me to some celebrities? Are what they saying about you true? Did you really throw a blow dryer at your manager? Did you—"

Nick stepped in front of him quickly. "Sorry about that," he smiled sheepishly. "Joe is very – enthusiastic."

I laughed. "No problem. They're kind of reasonable questions."

"Wait, so you did throw a hair dryer at your manager," Kevin asked me, grinning.

I blushed. "It wasn't a big hair dryer. And technically, I didn't throw it at him. He kind of just – got in the way."

They started laughing. By now, the line was moving along. We were getting close to the window. I was looking at them. All three of them looked so familiar. But where had I seen them? Could I really remember them from school? I hadn't talked to them, that much was sure. They were all really good looking. I would have remembered them if I had. And yet, I knew I had seen them somewhere. But where had it been?

"So are you here alone," Nick asked conversationally after we had all gotten our water ices. Mint chocolate chip. Now this was the good stuff.

"My sister Flannery is here too," I said. "But she's at home."

"Do you want to sit with us," Kevin asked.

"Sure," I smiled kindly. Truth was that I wanted to get on my way. But there was something about the boys that kept me from leaving. It was more than just them though. It was how I felt right now. It felt weird. It felt different. It felt kind of nice.

We walked over to one of the benches, and sat down, talking conversationally about music. Wow, they had really good taste. "Lainey," someone shouted.

I looked around, seeing two guys. One had a camera. I saw other people, similar to the two running behind them. "Oh crap," I mumbled. They had found me.

"Come on," Joe said, grabbing my hand and jumping off the bench. Nick and Kevin followed suit.

"What," I asked, wondering if I'd rather stay here and be swarmed than go anywhere with these guys.

"We'll get you out of here," he said, smirking slightly. "Or did you want to be swarmed by the paparazzi?"

"No, I—" I sighed. "Let's go."

We started running to my car. "Joe drive," Kevin said as we all piled in.

"Um, excuse me," I protested, thinking this had been a bad idea. Were they trying to hijack my car while I was in it or something? Suddenly, being swarmed by the paparazzi didn't seem like such a bad idea. It had to be safer than this. At least there would be witnesses if they killed me. "It's my car."

"Joe's the best driver for these kinds of situations," Nick explained, obviously noting my discomfort.

"Oh really," I said skeptically. "And does Joe get into these kinds of situations often?"

All three boys laughed. "You don't know who we are, do you," Kevin asked.

"Weirdos," I mumbled.

"Oh so close," Joe smirked, rolling his eyes. They took off their sunglasses and hats.

I gasped. "Wow."