I Finally Got Adopted..Dang

“Um,” he stuttered, rubbing his neck, “do you think we can talk?” I nodded, completely speechless. What had made him suddenly decided he wanted to talk to me? Derek had been avoiding me like the plague earlier; now he suddenly wanted to talk?

“So, um,” he stuttered some more. “Erm, how was your trip to New York?”

I semi-narrowed my eyes, “It was good. I realized some things.”

Derek nodded his head. “That’s good. I realized some things while you were gone too.” I didn’t say anything. I figured Derek start talking soon enough. “I want to get back together with you.” He finally blurted out.

I stared at Derek with a longing expression. His tall, lanky body looked amazing in his simple black jeans and black t-shirt. His blond hair hung shaggily over his eyes. He had huge bags around his midnight blue eyes like he hadn’t slept in days. I wanted to run up to Derek and kiss him with so much force that he would be completely surprised. I wanted everything to be back normal. Back to when we were good friends and dating, when we didn’t fight over the littlest things and were actually happy together. I wanted to go back to the times where we could just be sitting by each other and be content. Before all the fighting, the name calling, and before Eli kissed me.

Eli. His name brought my thoughts up short. I involuntarily grabbed the bracelet he got for me. It became a routine to put it on everyday that I didn’t even think about it. I always played with it when I was nervous, like I was now. I could see his face in my mind. His messy black hair, his celery colored eyes staring into mine, his cute little dimples. I could feel his soft lips on mine. When I thought of Eli, I felt those fireworks going off. I thought of all the times Eli sat there just listening to me rant on and on about how unhappy I was. Besides recently, he never once yelled at me while I was venting.

I began shaking my head. I made a promise to myself in New York to tell Eli my
feelings. “I’m sorry Derek.”

I saw Derek’s spirit being crushed. It was like a balloon being deflated. One second he was his normal, happy self. The next, his shoulders were slumped forward and his eyes showed how sad he was. “But why not?” he whispered.

“I…I just can’t do it anymore. When I was in New York, I realized a lot of things. I want to be with you Derek, I do. But I want to be treated wonderfully. I want us to go back to before all of our fighting started, when we were actually happy. As much as I want to be with you, I can’t. I’m sorry,” I told him sadly.

Derek deflated even more. “Please Marley! Give me another chance! I promise I can change. I know I’ve made this promise over and over, but I really mean it this time. While you were gone, I became depressed. Even though I was mad at you, I hated not seeing you everyday. I realized that if you aren’t in my life everyday, I’m not myself. Just seeing you makes me smile. Please give us another chance.”

I felt horrible for what I was doing. I wanted so badly to run up to Derek and tell him I wanted to be with him. We could make this relationship work, if we tried hard enough. “I’m sorry Derek, I just can’t do it. I would love nothing more than to be friends with you though.”

Derek bowed his head in defeat. We both stood there for a moment in sadness. “It’s Eli isn’t it?” he whispered, snapping his head up to look at me.

I bit my lip before answering. “Err; do you really want me to answer that?” Derek shook his head. “Yes, sort of,” I sighed. “We aren’t dating or anything.” I told him quickly.

“Well, I tried,” Derek muttered. “Just like I’m going to try and be friends with you Marley. As much as I want you, I do miss our friendship. So, friends?” Derek asked, sticking out his hand which I shook. I would have hugged him, but I didn’t want to push it too much.

“Friends,” I whispered, giving Derek a small smile.