Harbour Lights

It’s the song that he wrote about her – that’s what got them famous, that’s what tore them apart.

Marilyn Day was a wreck. Clothes were strewn across the bedspread and the floor, coating the room like snow on Christmas. Marilyn knew she had to pack; the only problem was, she found that she just couldn't.

Oh, how many times had she gone through this again and again? There were at least three instances throughout the summer where she wanted to go home, two of which she had gone as far as to pack up her stuff. It had seemed to easy then, to just get up and leave. Back then, she had been escaping. She had been trying to run away from her past and forget all the pain in her life. But now the past had caught up and that pain was now consuming her. There was no escape, not anymore.

Leaving was not the key to freedom anymore; it was not the way to be happy. Leaving would tear her in two. Her body may have been going back to London, but her heart would always remain here, in Ogunquit. With the lighthouse. With Will.

She slumped over on the bed and threw herself back on the pillow. How could this be happening to her? Why did the time for her to leave finally come when she wanted it the least? Tears found their way to her crystalline blue eyes, but she forced them back as soon as they had come. She wouldn't let herself cry, not now. She couldn't be weak. This was the one time that she had to go through with this; turning back would only make it more difficult, because no matter what she had to go back to London. Sooner or later, she would be on that plane. Never was just not an option.

And hadn't Will and her agreed to do this? They both knew that leaving each other was the best option – it was the only option, actually. If he was going to be strong, then she would be, too. She should just be happy that she had been able to spend those four blissful weeks with him. The beginning of summer had been rough, to put it lightly, but that last month…that last month was more than she could have ever dreamed of. It was probably more than she deserved. Some people spend their lives never seeing the person they love ever again; at least Marilyn had gotten back together with Will. At least she had been able to kiss him, hold him, make love to him once more. It was all she could ask for. Being happy for a short time is better than never feeling that way at all. The pain she was enduring now was all worth it.

And so, with a newfound strength, she pried herself away from the bed and began picking up her scattered clothes. For Will, she told herself. I have to do it for Will. Because, in all honesty, she would do anything for him. Even if it meant breaking both of their hearts.

Trembling hands placed clothes in the worn-down suitcase, finally clamping down the lid and sealing it shut. She looked out the window, past the townhouses and the trees and the people, and stared at the lighthouse in the distance. She bid it a silent goodbye and then turned her back to the window and the rest of Ogunquit.

◊ ◊ ◊

William Banfield was a wreck.

For the first time he was sure he was feeling the same way as Marilyn; they weren't opposites anymore. He should have been glad to finally get out of this town. He had lived here since birth, he had grown up here, he had never lived anywhere else – and during that entire time he had always wished to get out. This place was full of memories and first-times: his first step as a baby, his first strum on a guitar, his first kiss…but to him, this place was empty. It was a ghost town. He didn't love it, and he certainly didn’t want to spend the rest of his life here, like his parents had, and his parents' parents had.
He had always wanted a new life, full of new sights and new people and new adventures. But he would always want the same old girl.

Apparently, though, he wasn't allowed to have both. It was one or the other: see the world or stay with Marilyn. As much as he wanted the latter, she wouldn't allow it. And it wouldn't have worked, anyway.

Las Vegas. New York City. Los Angeles. He would probably get to see all of these cities, but he would definitely be seeing them alone. Sure, he'd have his band and his closest friend Adam there by his side, but it still wouldn't be the same without her. Speaking of Adam…he wondered how his friend was coping. He was dating Chante, after all, who would also be going back to Europe. Will began to ponder how their farewell had gone over – and then he suddenly understood the reason why Adam was mysteriously missing all of yesterday. Chances are he was spending the entire time hooking up with Chante. How typical of him.

But he knew Adam wasn't one for long distance relationships. And, although he barely knew the French girl, he could tell that she was a bit too wild to remain on a relationship-leash, especially if that leash was 3360 miles long. They would break up, for sure, if they hadn’t done so already. It would be easier for them, though. The couple hadn’t been together for that long, nor had they been very serious.

All of this made it seem even more unfair. His relationship was too strong and too special to be broken. He just wished Marilyn could go on tour with them or something…but she had to go back to school. Or maybe they could have a tour in Europe – no, they weren't that famous yet.

There was no way out. It was hopeless.

In times of crisis, there was only one place Will ever turned to: the desk down in his basement. Without really thinking about it, he had travelled down the stairs and before he knew it he was pulling open all of the drawers and shuffling through their contents.

He wasn't looking for any drugs; he was done with that. A few weeks ago that might have been his exact method of coping, but he knew now that no matter how high he was he wouldn't be able to bury his pain.

This desk didn't just hide illegal substances, though – it held all of his secrets. He found what he was looking for in the third drawer on the right. It was under a pile of report cards that he had kept hidden from his parents since freshman year.

He held it up and admired it in the artificial glow produced by the single light bulb flickering over his head. The diamond twinkled brightly despite the dim lighting, defying its two-year-old age and the thin layer of dust coating it. It smiled at him, reminding him of tender memories, and glittered in a way that made it seem as though it was begging to be put to good use again. It wanted to go on the hand it belonged to.

Pocketing the ring, Will stood up, slamming the drawer shut resolutely. He knew exactly where he was going to go next; he knew that's where she would be.

◊ ◊ ◊

Marilyn Day was surprised when Will walked up behind her and encircled his arms about her waist. Without either of them saying a word, he rested his chin on her shoulder and the two of them stared out to the ocean. They were currently standing on the balcony of lighthouse; Marilyn must have broken in and climbed the stairs to get to the top. Will had merely followed her.

"You're just going to make it harder for us to say goodbye," Marilyn said softly.

He just sighed into her neck. "I don't want to say goodbye," he mumbled.

"We went over this. We have to."

"But I don't want – "

"Neither do I," she sighed. "But we just don't have a choice."

He fell into silence. "Goodbye doesn't have to mean forever, you know."

She scoffed. "We're not going to see each other for…for who knows how long. Who's to say you won't meet some girl while you're on tour? And who's to say that Iwon't meet anyone? We're subject to so much change. We have no idea what's going to happen."

"Why are you being so pessimistic?"

"I just don't want to get my hopes up anymore, okay?" she said and pulled away from him. "I'm just – I'm done with being hurt all the time! I can't handle it anymore. Besides," she went on bitterly, "I'm sure there are going to be a million girls screaming your name and wanting to hook up with you all the time. That's what fame is all about, isn't it?"

"Well, I'm sure I won't be hooking up with all of those chicks, because that would sort of suck," Will replied, making a face. "It would totally mess things up when we get married and everything."

She stared at him. "What are you talking about?"

"Listen, I know this really didn't go so well the first time," he said before she could make any objections, "so just hear me out. I know we need to go our separate ways. I know that we're not going to see each other for a long time. But eventually…eventually I will find a way to be with you again. I'll move to England or France or fucking Mars, wherever you happen to be."

"Will, I – "

"But I don't want to make any promises without…without something to sort of represent it. I want to make it official. I want everyone to know about it."

"Are you saying…oh my god," she whispered.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out something shiny. A ring. The same ring that he had presented to her two years ago.

"Oh my god," she said again.

He fell to one knee.

"Oh. My. God."

"Marilyn Day," he couldn't help the smile creep onto his lips as he said her name, "Will you marry me?"

She couldn't speak. She couldn't even breathe. A streamline of a thousand thoughts raced through her head, and with every ounce of willpower she had, she tried to think everything through:

Will and Marilyn both knew that they would not have worked out – not now, at least. But…in only two years Marilyn would be out of school, and then an entire ocean of possibilities opened up. They could…they would find each other again. The day would come when they would finally be happy. It would not happen now, and it would not happen soon. But it would happen.

Two years was a long time though, and a lot could change in that time span. But that's what the ring was for; it was a promise. It was a promise that Will and Marilyn could make to each other – no matter what happened, no matter how much they changed, they would still find a way to be together. She stared at the engagement ring with wide eyes. It will work, the diamond whispered in its sparkling language. There were several clichés about diamonds, but there was one of them that was particularly true: "diamonds last forever." This ring, this promise, would remain unchanged despite the constantly altering world that surrounded Will and Marilyn. This ring would last, and therefore so would they.

It provided hope. And with the entire world seemingly working against them, this hope was everything that Marilyn and Will needed. It was their one single light in their clouded future; it was their lighthouse beam, their harbour light, that would eventually guide them to each other.

There was absolutely no doubt in Marilyn's mind that Will was the one. Four years of being in love with him taught her this, and the events of this summer only confirmed it. When she was eighteen, she wasn't sure if she was ready to be married. She wasn't ready to settle down with one person for the rest of her life, especially if there was so much of the world that she still wanted to see. But after spending so much time away from Will, she knew that she couldn't live her life without him, whether she was in London or Paris or even Ogunquit. Wherever she was, he had to be there, too. Otherwise she could never say that she was really living her life.

But now that she was twenty…she still wasn’t ready to wed. But she was ready to be engaged. She was ready to promise herself to him, she was ready to wait for when the time was finally right. Because by the time this waiting was over, she knew that she would finally be prepared to be married, to be a wife. To be his wife. Then she would finally, truly be grown up.

Marilyn gazed down at Will, who was still down on one knee. The look on his face could only be described as hurt and disappointment; he mistook her lengthy silence as a sign that she was going to say no. Smiling, Marilyn knelt down on her knees as well, bringing herself down to look him in the eyes. And then Marilyn finally gave him the answer that she had regretfully failed to give him two years ago, the answer that he had been waiting so long to hear:

"Yes."

The hurt expression on his face was wiped away and replaced with confusion. "What?" he asked, completely dumbfounded. He stood up and she followed suit. "You mean…you mean you're actually agreeing to this?"

She laughed, "Yes, Will, yes. Don't you see? I love you."

And then his lips were upon hers in a lip-smashing, heart-wrenching kiss that Marilyn never wanted to end. She threw her arms around his neck and pressed herself as close to him as possible. His hands found their way from the back of her head to her waist and crushed her even closer.

It was so happy and so sad at the same time. This engagement was also a goodbye. Not forever, but for a while.

"I'm going to call you every day," Will said into her lips, "and I'll force the band to have a European tour so I can see you. And I'll be sure to get rich and famous as soon as possible so I can buy a million plane tickets to London so then after the tour I can see you whenever I want. No – no, I'm going to buy my own plane instead. And – "

"I'll call you everyday too," Marilyn laughed, interrupting his rant. Being away from him was going to be difficult, but she would manage. She knew that he would be hers again, one day.

He smiled and pressed his forehead against hers. "I love you, Mare."

"I love you, too."

In the beginning of the summer, if someone told Marilyn that she had to leave again, she would have laughed and said, "Good." And if they told her that she actually wouldn't want to go back to Europe, she would have scoffed and called them a liar. If they told her that she was going to marry William Banfield one day, she would never have spoken to them again.

In the beginning of the summer, if someone told Will that, for the first time, he would have actually been willing to stay in Ogunquit, he would have called them a dumbass. If they told him that he was going to propose to Marilyn Day – and that she was going to say yes – he probably would have punched them in the face.

But somehow all of these things happened. And after all of the events of this one particular summer, after all of the misery and all of the shared laughs and all of the missed memories, here they stood, together. Here stood the high school sweethearts, the sworn enemies, the lovers; laughing, kissing, making promises. It's almost funny how, against all odds, it all worked out.

And it's almost funny how they were still so madly in love with each other.