I Need To Find My Way Back To The Start

“See you later, Cara!” Pat’s social butterfly of a mom chirped as Pat and I walked out his front door.

“Bye Mrs.— Err, Lisa! Nice meeting you both!” Pat escorted me to his car, his hand fitted around my waist. “I guess that didn’t go as bad as I certainly thought it would.”

“Nah! It was perfect,” calmly answered Pat, smiling more to himself it seemed.

We got in the car—the sound of the doors shutting breaking through the silence. The night was nice and cool. It wasn’t too humid or dry. Everything was perfect outside.

Inside the car, you could hear Pat starting the vehicle. When the engine revved awake again, you could hear the CD in the CD player start up. The first song switched on.

“I've been jumping from the tops of buildings
For the thrill of the fall ignoring sound advice
And any thought of consequence.”

I slowly smiled to myself when I realized the song. It was one of my favorite songs, to be honest. When I had first heard it, I was addicted. When I had first put it on my iPod, I would constantly play it. The number of plays that song has now is probably pretty unbelievably high. “I love this song,” I mentioned softly.

“My bones have shattered
My pride is shattered.”

“Mm,” grunted Pat, turning onto a street. “Yeah. I love this song, too. The whole band’s pretty good.”

“And in the midst of this self inflicted pain
I can see my beautiful rescue.”

During the drive, I played with Pat’s hand and fingers. We talked about the song playing, My Beautiful Rescue by This Providence, and we spoke about how well dinner went with Pat’s parents. Oh! You can’t forget his brother Tim, as well.

“I'm falling more in love with every single word I withhold
I'm falling more in love with every single word you say
I'm falling head over heals for you.”
“Cara?”

I whipped my head towards Pat’s voice. “Yeah?”

“We’re just about here,” he answered with a soft voice and smile.

I looked outside and noticed that we were parked somewhat in front of my house. “Oh.” It was more to the side, actually. At first glance, it might have looked like we were more there more for our neighbors instead of us. “Wait. Why’d you park all the way over here?”

Pat didn’t say anything for a second or two, but I could still see the blush creeping its way to his cheeks. “W-Well, I just thought… I-I don’t…” Pat now had his left hand stuck somewhere under his long brown locks, rubbing the back of his neck. He suddenly stopped, sighed, and looked over at me.

“Are yo-” I didn’t get to finish my sentence, because Pat decided that that specific moment would be a good chance to crash his lips down against mine in a rather zealous kiss. Of course, I didn’t— couldn’t—say no.

My hands found their way to Pat’s hair just as his fingers were brushing against my hipbones. And then at the same pace as our lips were moving, slow, I could faintly feel through my goosebumps his same fingertips sliding against my skin, down to my knees. Respectively, they didn’t stay there long. Pat wanted to pull me closer, so he snaked his arms around my lower back. As he traced the bottom outline of my lip, my spine felt like it was vibrating, or shaking, or tingling. If I didn’t already know what a spinal tap was, I would describe this moment’s kiss as a spinal tap.

Suddenly, my lungs screamed for attention, pounding and pounding from the lack of air. I couldn’t ignore it, in fear that I’d die from a lack of oxygen. But could you imagine? Dying from a kiss? I can see the headlines now: Death by Kiss. It’d be a little gothic, huh?

Pat’s not a gothic type of guy and I’m not a gothic sort of girl, so I responded to my lungs’ begs and cries for mercy and air. With a soft gasp, my mouth detached from Pat’s. I took in some air before, panting all the while gently, I mumbled, “So this is why you parked over here.”

Pat had calmed down, too. However, since his lung capacity was greater than mine, he planted little kisses on my neck and jaw line. “Yeah,” he replied, a sheepish chuckle in his voice.

We stayed like that for a while. Pat kept his face in my neck and shoulder region, and just breathed in and out. I stroked his hair with one hand as the other held onto him on his back. My thumb made little circles on his shirt.

Pat kiss my skin again and then explained, a little bashfully, “Sorry for sort of cutting you off there. But, you know, with everybody around all the time like it’s been since we’ve got back, it’s been kind of hard to have alone time with you.”

“I don’t mind,” I responded in a small voice.

Pat laughed once. “I’m glad.”

***

Pat and I kissed each other goodbye and then I was on my way to the front door. As he drove past, I waved and he beeped. When I saw that his car was a ways down the street, I pushed open the door.

“So how was it?”

“Huh?” I asked Ali, whom was sitting on the couch, the remote control in her hand. My brother was lounging beside her.

She sighed exasperatedly. “How did dinner go with Pat’s parents?”

“Oh!” I slipped off my shoes and sat on the end of ‘Garrett’s chair.’ Since it was able to rock back and forth, the front end tipped forward, thanks to me. “It was good. Not to mention Pat’s mom cooks like a pro.”

“That she does,” said Garrett, nodding his head a couple times.

“So, uh,” I started, getting ready to start my own interrogation for my brother and Ali. “What have you two been doing for past couple hours?”

The two exchanged quick side-glances before Ali responded, “Watched TV.”

“Oh. You guys ‘watched TV,’” I mocked with air quotes and a teasing smile.

“Yeah,” Garrett piped in. “We watched a movie.”

“Yeah? What one?”

“Forest Gump.”

“Sweeny Todd!”

Wow. And they answered at the same time, too! Hm. Should I call them out on that one? I mean, it might be a little obvious that they weren’t watching a movie, but… Should I embarrass them? Hm… “Okay! I’m going upstairs then.” I started making my way to the staircase, and just as my left foot landed on the bottom step, my leg itching to push the rest of my body up onto the step, I turned my head. Garrett and Ali’s eyes were still on me intently—Garrett’s a little wider, worried. “But if I come back down for something, don’t let me catch you two kissing each other. I’ll be deeply disturbed.” And then I bounced up the steps, one by one.

When I got upstairs, I tore out some simple pajamas from my dresser and threw them on. I put the clothes I wore to the Kirch’s in the hamper and then pulled my hair into a ponytail. As I made my way over to my bed, I noticed that my Sidekick was blinking, signaling that I had either a voicemail or text message.

I slid the front open, figuring that it was just Pat with another goodnight or telling me that I left something in his car. Then I wondered if it was going to be Camille, letting me know something completely ridiculous like that she just bought a pack of ‘really, really cute’ underwear at Walmart. But instead, when I resumed to my inbox, seeing a little (1) next to it, I didn’t recognize the number.

The message read, ‘Meet me at that little food place across from Walgreen’s tomorrow at noon.’

Hm… Wrong number? Hopefully it wasn’t some scary, creepy, man. Oh my God…

“No,” I whispered to myself as I hit the buttons to respond to the unknown message. “Don’t freak yourself out,” I softly instructed.

‘Who is this?’ Impatiently, I waited for the reply. Nearly thirty seconds later, the answer I got nearly shocked me.

‘John, of course.’

Of course…