I Need To Find My Way Back To The Start

“Oh, hey, kiddo! How is you? Oh, wait! Here’s your dad!”

“Uh, thanks, Uncle Charlie.”

“No problem,” my uncle said in his average, deep, hardy voice. I heard him pass over the telephone and mumble to my father that it was I on the other line.

“Cara?”

“Um, hi, Dad. Mom said you called,” I explained sheepishly.

“Oh. Right,” he said in a gruff voice at the mention of my mom. I supposed that he wasn’t the only one that was a little bitter about the divorce. “Yeah. I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday.”

“Oh.” I slowly sat down on the arm of the recliner.

“I know it’s a day late and all, but it’s not everyday that your daughter turns 18 and goes from being a little girl to a young lady,” Dad explained in a low, serious tone.

I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. “Uh… Wow, Dad. That was a little… too much. I just turned 18, not 25.”

“Hey, it’s not that far off,” he stated in a mumble.

I could have combusted right then and there. However, I decided to pretend that I didn’t hear it. “So you’ve been staying at Uncle Charlie’s?”

“Yep.”

“Oh… Gotcha.”

“Mhm. Well… I’ll let you go. Make sure you tell Garrett I love him and watch your mother, too.”

“Uh, yeah. I will.” I ran my hand through my hair and sighed softly.

“Okay. Love you, Cara.”

“Same here. Bye, Dad.” My father muttered goodbye before hanging up.

“Sounds like it was rather awkward. You okay?”

I shook my head. “Yeah and I’m fine, Mom.”

***

“Hello?”

“Um, Garrett, Dad called while you and I were at the neighbors’. I had to call him back when you left.”

My brother was silent for a moment, taking this new information in. I could only hear the other boys talking and setting things up and tuning guitars. Then Garrett spoke lowly, “And what did he want?”

I swallowed before answering, “Well, he wanted to wish me a happy birthday.”

He snorted. “Wow. What a great dad. His only daughter’s birthday was yesterday.”

“I know, I know. But I guess it’s the thought that counts. But I just wanted to call and let you know that he’s living at Uncle Charlie’s.”

“That’s not a surprise. Ever since Charlie’s ex-wife left him, it’s only been him and that dog. Now him and his brother are divorced men. Funny.”

I sighed. “Now don’t be mean, Garrett. He also told me that he wanted me to tell you that he loves you.” I scratched my chin.

“…Okay then. Sounds like it was an awkward an uncomfortable conversation.”

“It definitely was,” I confirmed. “Thankfully, it didn’t last that long though. However, he did sort of start to let some of the ‘my daughter’s growing up into a woman’ stuff sink through. Ugh. That part… It was horrible…” I sighed.

“Ew,” he muttered.

“Yeah, I kn-” I was cut short as I suddenly heard laughter. No, more like giggling. I know those boys don’t giggle, especially that giggle. I knew that giggle… “Garrett! Is Camille there, for God’s sake?” I simultaneously realized that I suddenly had my hand on my hip.

“Oh,” he replied. “Yeah. Apparently Kennedy and her were supposed to go out and then he realized that we had practice. Oh, and apparently Camille wants to see us play.” Garrett snorted once. “Yeah, right. She came to watch Kennedy wiggle around with his little Fisher Price guitar in his tight little skinny jeans.”

A burst of laughter escaped through my lips. “Oh, man. That’s funny. Hey. I’m coming, too.”

“Ugh! Not you, too! Too many females! No!”

“See you in a bit, bro!” I exclaimed energetically before hanging up with a somewhat sly smile.

***

“You count ‘em one, two, three
You look so cute when you get that mad
You drain the life from me and it feels oh so good”

“They’re so good,” Camille slowly said in my ear so I could hear her over the music. The mixture in her voice was coated with awe and had mostly genuine feelings in there. But of course, there were those few unavoidable flecks of exaggerating waves spilling around within it.

I giggled and nodded, leaning towards her ear so she could hear me. “I know, Camille. I spent a summer with them remember? I could practically sing these songs myself if I wanted to.” I flashed a smile towards her.

“Ugh.” She started to have that sort of fangirl look on her face. No, wait. Not fangirl… Boy crazy. That’s what look it was. “And you’re so lucky you got to do that,” she added.

I rolled my eyes at her playfully. “Stop it, Camille. Quick looking at Kennedy like that. You’re going to make him think that you want him for dinner. And not as a date. I’m talking about the main entrée here.”

Camille finally looked at my face for the first time since I arrived. “Honey, I’d have that boy as the appetizer, entrée, and dessert. Mhm.”

I groaned as I tilted my head the other way, letting it hit the back of the crappy couch. “Icky, Camille.” She mouthed a sorry before going back to her staring, drooling, gaping, and etc.

“She's gotta be something new to me
Fresh face, someone new to please
So come on, come on girl, just you and me
Oh come on girl, just you and me”

I looked up at the marvelous band playing in front of me in this cluttered garage. I watched them, my foot slightly bouncing in the air rhythmically, for a few moments. A verse passed, another verse went, and another, and of course, another came and went through my ears. I hadn’t noticed what I was looking at until I realized that my eyes weren’t taking in any new images any longer. My brain had happened to snap back into life once again, as well.

Ugh. Such a good-looking boy… So talented… Smart… But he intimidates me.

‘I don’t really know,’ I answered quietly. ‘I-I… I think you sort of intimidate me sometimes.’

John let out a laugh. ‘Really?’

I wasn’t lying when I told him that in the kitchen. Not at all. That boy makes a dangerous chill run up and down my body frantically by just a second of eye contact with his lovely hazel eyes. It really was ridiculous.

“And how am I supposed to think
With her hands all over me
Telling me the right things
Ever so distracting”

His eyes focused back on mine for a split second before our expressions went blank, as well as our minds. With our lips fused together, we heard nothing.

“She's gotta be something new to me
New signs but no sight of strings”

With John’s lips caressing my own in a passionate kiss, I could not see anything.

“So come on, come on, girl just you and me
Oh come on girl, just you and me”

I only felt his hands on my lower waist, my lower back slightly bending back against the counter, and John’s tongue meeting my own.

“Ah! Oh my gosh, Cara!”

I felt myself jolt a little and now my eyes were suddenly on Camille’s face. “What?” It barely came out. She probably just answered me from the look on my face.

“Did you see that? Kennedy smiled at me. It was a pretty cute smile, too.” Her own grin was large with a dreamy essence. Her exotic eyes matched as well.

“Oh. Right,” I answered. I looked up to them again, seeing if Kennedy really was making faces at Camille like she claimed. My eyes kept moving…

‘John…’ I swallowed and looked back up at him. ‘I don’t want it to be difficult between you and I. I don’t want anything to be difficult anymore,’ I admitted quietly.

John let out a silent, breathless laugh. ‘Well sorry to bring this down on you, sweetie, but the difficultly is always going to be there and frankly, it’s just started.’

I could only hope that John O’Callaghan wasn’t right.

But… As much as I wanted to hope that he was just bluffing… A bigger part of my mind and I believed his words from that night were true.