The Bird and the Worm

“So do you swear upon your life that you have no idea where we are right now?” he asked me, probably staring over at me. “Because it’s only a surprise if you don’t know where we are.” I could hear the smile in his smooth voice.

“My internal GPS system fails me. I swear to you that I have no idea where we are.” He laughed at me, and I sighed, curling my fingers into my palm when he let go of my hand. His rough fingertips were at the back of my head a few moments later, barely brushing at strands of my hair as he untied his makeshift blindfold, and as it slid from in front of my eyes, he tossed it to the back seat and watched my reaction to the scene. The sun floated carelessly above an endless horizon of shining blue, and the faint crash of waves could be heard past our breathing. “The beach,” I said quietly, smiling to myself a little.

“Not just any beach,” he countered playfully. “This is the beach me and the guys came to when we decided you were the winner.” He couldn’t help but smile. “I thought that maybe you would appreciate the view at less of a distance.” He opened his door. “I’ve gotta grab a few things, though, so if you want to go pick a spot, I’ll be over in a few.”

“Okay,” I agreed, pulling him into a short kiss. “I’ll find a spot, and then I’ll wait for you to sweep me away with endless romanticism.” He raised an eyebrow. “We are on the down-low here, you know.” He shook his head, chuckling softly, and we both got out of the car. He moved to the rear doors, and I stepped forward a few feet, searching for the perfect spot.

The spot I found wasn’t directly in the sun, but because the beach didn’t have many people on it to begin with, it didn’t matter. I walked over to it, and I stood with my hands folded behind my back, toying with the ring that had just been bought for me.

Minutes later, something was set on the sand as softly as possible, and then warm arms slid around my waist. I grinned, leaning against his inviting chest, tilting my head back and continuing to grin up at him. “Do you approve of the spot?” I questioned, and he nodded, ducking his head down to gently touch his lips to mine, only for a few seconds.

“It suits me,” he finally murmured, and I kissed his neck, considering that was the only thing I could reach easily. “Shall we relax?” I nodded, and he settled onto a blanket that had ‘magically’ appeared on the sand, pulling me down with him. After a few moments of that, we settled into more comfortable positions next to each other. Brian was propped up on one elbow, lying on his side, and I was the same, facing him, watching his eyes. “You like this, right?” I nodded for the zillionth time of the night. “Good. Because it’s about to get cheesier.”

He turned onto his back for a moment, reaching into the basket he’d brought with him, and pulled out a small boom box, setting it on the sand, switching it on, and pressing ‘play’. His fingers found mine before the first song started, and I had to say that I was impressed when I heard the beginning of ‘Unchained Melody’ wafting softly from the speakers. “How did you think of all this?”

He laughed shortly. “I spent five months alone on a tour bus with four guys who would like nothing better than to see you put a ring on my finger. Their ideas kind of rubbed off on me.” He cracked an impish smile. “Do you think it’s dumb? Because if you do, we can do without the music.”

I shook my head. “No. I don’t think it’s dumb. I like it.” He looked at me with obvious disbelief. “I love that you’re so different than the man you are on stage. He’s powerful, always in dominance, never vulnerable, but you. You’re gentle, open, and…well, I’m not sure I should use the word ‘passionate’, but it’s the best I’ve got.” He seemed to ask me if those were redeeming qualities when his eyebrow was raised a little more, and I sighed, shifting so that I was closer to him. If I could have said that I was glad I was in love with Brian Haner instead of Synyster Gates and had it make sense, I would have, but a simple, “I love you,” passed my lips before they were suddenly occupied with his.

His rough hand found the side of my face, and he let his lips part, coaxing mine to do the same. I let my hand rest on his neck, my fingers curling against his skin, and his lips pushed against mine for mere moments while the perfect romantic moment wafted through. “So are you impressed yet?”

“I’m trying to figure out why I never guessed that you were a Righteous Brothers fan.” He laughed, stroking my face. “I mean, I didn’t know you were into the music of the 1950s.” He sighed, but he knew I was only giving him a hard time. “And yes. I’m impressed.” He grinned, and I let him claim a short kiss, and closed my eyes as his lips moved to my forehead.

“So how do you want to kill time before the sunset?”

“It really doesn’t matter to me, as long as I spend the time with you.” We had to look interesting- two people lying so close together on a blanket on a public beach, stroking each other’s skin, clad in clothes that most people wear for a day out on the town, listening to a mix that he’d made. “I can’t believe you did all this. I mean, you bought me a ring, you brought me flowers, you set up an amazing date, and this mix…” I ran my hand along the side of his neck, and I stared into his eyes for a few minutes as we listened to the song together. “I’m still trying to figure out why.”

“Why what?”

“Why you went to all of this trouble for me.”

He half-laughed. “Because. I love you.” Another smile. “And you deserve it.”

My heart thumped once in my chest. “For a moment, I was sure you were going to say ‘Well haven’t you figured it out yet?’, at which point I would remain silent, and then you would be all ‘Marry me’.” My cheeks flushed at the thought of actually being engaged to him, and then turned a deeper shade of red as the idea of marriage floated into my head. I wasn’t sure that it mixed well with Brian and I, merely because I’d never thought of it before.

“You look like the idea worries you.” I shook my head. “Then what is it?” I bit my lip, and he watched me supportively, waiting for my answer. I couldn’t really think of a way to voice my thoughts, so I remained quiet. He waited for a few moments, his thumb brushing along my cheek, wiping my blush away. After those few moments, he seemed to understand. “Oh,” he breathed.

I offered a half-smile, and his touch on my face made the smile more genuine. “I feel really dumb,” I said softly, and his eyes flashed with concern, his hand drifting to my chin, his fingertips curled on my jaw.

“Don’t.” The song shifted, and I heard a very familiar acoustic line before Brent Smith’s voice accompanied it. “Don’t feel dumb. The idea of…”

“Being engaged?”

He nodded. “…still confuses me.” In other words, I guessed that he was trying to tell me that he wasn’t ready for that kind of pressure either, and for some strange reason, that actually came as a relief to me. His mouth met mine, and he shifted to that he was on his back. My hands were on either side of his neck, and he parted his lips again, this time letting me flick my tongue out onto his lip before sliding it slowly into his mouth.

He was hesitant for a moment, surprised by my initiative, but slowly let his tongue meet mine, his fingers drifting to my hair. My heart was pounding by now, and I was sure he could feel it. There was no way that it wasn’t obvious. Even with his mouth attached to mine, I was blushing, and my breaths came in short gusts as my mind and body processed this new interaction between Brian and I. You’re still in public, I reminded myself, but the warning didn’t seem to do any good. It didn’t matter much to me, and Brian was perfectly content like this.

Of course he was.

No matter how sweet and understanding, underneath it all, he was still a man, which made it difficult for him to resist situations like this.

Luckily for me, he knew when it was too far.

It was pretty much towards the middle of ‘Second Chance’ when his lips separated from mine, and he stared up at me with his chocolate eyes, hinting at the mild amount of confusion he probably felt.

I released a short huff, releasing his neck and letting him turn back onto his side.

“Where did that come from?” he breathed, his chest rising and falling much more smoothly than mine. “I never thought you…”

I touched his lips. “Being alone with you makes me feel more confident.” He nodded, accepting this answer, and folded his hand around mine, moving my hand to his waist and then curving his around the side of my neck. I shivered beneath his touch, blushing a little, trying not to think about everything this man had given me, and how little I’d given him in return. “I’m still trying to understand why you do so much for me when I’ve done so little for you.”

He furrowed his brow for a moment, watching me, concentrating on an answer.

The beginning of ‘Demolition Lovers’ passed before he’d said a word. When he did speak, his voice was gentle. “I’m still trying to figure it out, too. I mean, back on the bus, I wanted the most effective means possible to get your mother off your case, and that involved pretending to be your fiancé. I wanted to make sure you enjoyed your three days, but during that time, I fell in love with you.” He bit his lip. “I shouldn’t have, but I did.” He sighed, averting his gaze. “And for five months, I only wanted to give you everything, but I couldn’t because half the time, I was on another continent. So when I came home, it was like I’d known you forever because of that damn gleam in your eyes…”

I was silent, and his gaze flickered to mine for a moment, his voice nearly a whisper now. “And every time I look at your left hand, I feel like shit because I haven’t proposed, and I feel like I should.” I quirked an eyebrow. “Last night, when we uh, broke in the bed, I could only keep thinking that I was thrilled you weren’t pressuring me into being your husband. But being with you now…”

“Brian, you don’t have to-”

“Being with you now, it feels right.”

My breath caught, and I sat up, his hand sliding from my neck, and he sat up too.

“I probably shouldn’t avoid it any longer.” He took my hand in both of his, his warm palms encasing my left hand, and I could only rest my eyes on his knuckles- they were rugged, but they were perfect in their own right. My heartbeat sped up, and it took everything I had to look back into his eyes.

I love you, Brian.