The Bird and the Worm

When we got to the bus, everybody pretty much returned to their normal places- Jimmy situated himself in front of the TV, and Johnny sat beside him, and then a battle on their Guitar Hero (World Tour for the PS2) quickly ensued. The other two guys stayed behind to watch it. Brian and I, however, meandered to his bunk, where we simply relaxed together.
As his arms wrapped loosely around me, I let mine slide around him halfway, and I forced my gaze to meet his. “Hey Brian?”

“Hmm?”

“I’ve been thinking, you know, about this whole ‘these three days are yours’ thing. I mean, it feels a little awkward, like, I’ve only been here with you less than a day and you’re letting me kiss you and stuff. It’s just…I dunno. It seems like it’s way too fast and much too easy.”

“Mmm.” He sighed, letting his hand slide down my back, touching his lips to my forehead. “You don’t like it?” he questioned.

“That’s the problem,” I sighed. “I like it a lot- more than I should.”

“Is it because I’m Synyster Gates, or is it because I’m me?”

I looked up at him, and his eyes were shining, though it didn’t look the same as it had last night. He bit his lip, his eyebrow furrowed slightly in thought... I sighed. It seemed like I’d hurt him or something. “It’s partly because you’re Synyster Gates- it’s intimidating when I’m thinking about how good it feels to be this close to you- but it’s also because you’re so open with me.”

“I see.” There was nothing superfluous about his tone…and he was being sort of vague. It gave me no clues as to what he was feeling. “Can I tell you something?”

“Sure.”

One of his hands moved to my face. “Four months ago, Michelle left me behind for some random guy she’d met at a bar. We were supposed to be married in another month, so you can imagine that I didn’t take it too well. So we postponed the tour until I was normal enough to go onstage and play guitar for fans like you. For fans that would lay down everything in order to make their favorite rock band happy for a single night. For fans that I would cheerfully die for in a heartbeat.” He sighed, pausing to study my eyes for a moment. “But I still felt kind of empty, so I talked with the guys for a while. They helped me come up with this contest, though I never really figured out their true motives. I saw numerous guys and girls pour their hearts out to me in videos that were as long as twenty minutes, telling me those three days with me was something they would gladly die for.”
I bit my lip. I hadn’t really stressed that in my video.

“And in the midst of all that, your ten minute film really hit me where it mattered. The way you spoke so nonchalantly to your video camera about the things you would love to do if you won time with me, giving a tour of your death bat-clad bedroom, introducing your friends, and all that, well, I was impressed. I felt like you wanted to be good friends with me more than you wanted to have sex with me, and the guys reached the same decision.”

“Brian, I-“

“And so when I kissed you last night, when you said it wouldn’t kill you, like it didn’t matter if you were kissed or not, it all became reality. The way you were so hesitant to take advantage of my offer amazed me, and the way you blushed afterward had me enthused.” I offered a smile, and he returned it. “I’m not exactly in love with you or anything, but…”

“Three days isn’t going to be enough, is it?”

“Over these last two weeks, all I’ve been able to think about is the three days you have with me, and because of the way your video impacted me, well, I only want to give you anything you want from me.” He touched my chin, keeping a fast hold on my gaze, and my stomach twisted, my heart forgetting how to work right- in turn making me forget how to breathe right. “Tell me what you want from me,” he breathed.

At the moment, I didn’t really have anything. So I settled for pulling myself up to his eye level, keeping a lock on his gaze, and then pressing my lips to his, cradling his face in my hands. As he kissed me back, I could only think about how ridiculous this was- I’d known him for about ten hours, and he was letting me kiss him, and he was telling me how he felt, and he was asking me for some sort of help. I wasn’t a psychologist. I was only a sociologist in training. So I had to settle for what I was good at- kissing it better.

His hands drifted to my sides as I shifted so that I was almost lying on top of him, which was a feat, considering the spatial restraints of his bunk. He easily welcomed this new position, and he didn’t murmur a single word of complaint- somehow, I was sure that this was what he wanted. Maybe a way to release all of his romantic tension would be the best cure, and if I was going to be the one he was going to let loose upon, I was glad to help, because I was one of the fans that would happily lay down everything I had to make the musician that had calmed my nerves and depression nearly every night for five years feel better for what little time I had with him.

He shifted beneath me for comfort, and his hands drifted beneath the material of the borrowed shirt I was wearing, rough fingertips brushing along the skin of my back. I shivered against him, and he broke the kiss to stare up into my eyes. I bit my lip, and his hands slowed to a standstill at the small of my back on their way down.

“Sorry,” he murmured.

“Maybe we shouldn’t…not with the guys so close.”

“They can’t hear us,” he said.

“I know, but…”

“Okay,” he said. “If you don’t want to go any farther, I’m okay with that.” I respect you more than that. I smiled down at him, and he winked, letting his lips spread into a brilliant smile.
“I’m not opposed to the idea,” I countered, “I just don’t want to know what the guys would think of me if they accidentally came across a very awkward situation.” He nodded. He understood. I kissed him again in thanks, and he smiled when I broke it.

“That had to be difficult,” he said with a small chuckle as I relaxed against him.

“My willpower allows me to do amazing things.” I grinned up at him, and he pulled me closer. His lips rested on the top of my head, and I sidled closer to him, enjoying the touch of his kiss. “Is it wrong that I’ve only been around you for ten hours and I’m already feeling like this?”

He scoffed. “If it’s wrong for you, then I should be in prison.”

“Huh?”

“I already told you how I felt,” he reminded me gently. His lips touched my hair again, and he drew in a long breath as he pulled me closer. “So if we’re not going to have sex or anything,” wink wink, “what do you propose we do?”

I rested my chin on his chest, looking up at him. “I dunno. What would you do if you were in a cozy bunk with a fan wrapped quite cozily in your arms and you weren’t going to take horrible advantage of her excitement about being so close to you?”

He pretended to be lost in deep thought for a few moments, and then he said, “I would kick her pretty butt at Guitar Hero on the guitar and the drums.”

I raised an eyebrow at him. “Drums?”

“Yes, drums.”

“I was section leader in my high school marching band’s percussion section.”

“I love a challenge.”

I slid up to plant a short kiss on his smooth lips. “Then I challenge you to a Guitar Hero battle,” I said with a smirk, slipping out of his arms and his bunk. Intrigued, he followed, and I took his hand, teasing, “Come on. I want to show Jimmy what playing the drums really looks like.”

“Uh-huh, okay,” he said, but he followed me, nonetheless.