Our Lady of sorrows

I went out for a smoke after school got out and decided to get my nerve together. I was really sick of being a nobody and today it really seemed to get on my nerves. My hands were shaky as hell and my posture sucked but what did I care I wasn't the center of attention anyways.

Smoke rose from my cigarette like a twirling indian dancer, or at least i thought they were Indianan. Any ways the smoke was rising and the temperature was dropping. In fact it was dropping faster then i thought possible. even after inhaling my fag there was smokey frost that came out my mouth.

Burning my tongue I let the frost settle back into the gray sky and and took another drag. Today I really felt like being alone. No one could really make me feel better at the moment not even Frankie and his dick head jokes.

I decided the rest of the day was so goddamn worthless I would skip it anyways so i did I was bored as hell at school and there wasn't anything drastic that had to be done so, why be back? I trudged off in my overly large feather down jacket and went off to the guitar store me and Mikey had gone only a couple days before.

I stepped in with that irritating bell over my head almost gave me a fucking heart a attack.

"Welcome to guitar world." a girl at the counter said in a very monotone voice. her long black hair covering half her face. She chewed some bubble gum and blew enormass bubbles that would brobably stop your speach for about a minuet. Thats what always bothered me about girls chewing bubble gum they made it like a talent. I swear if I could blow one that big I would be a hero umung the guys at school.

I walked in the store, it smelt terrible. I have no idea what it smelt like but it wasnt dasies. probably some discusting type of bubble gum that girl was chewing. God she made me sick. I trevered the isles and came across the microphone section again. I couldn't help but look at the really big black and white one. The cored from the back wrapped around the long pole that was skrewed to the table of display.

"Its some mike huh?" The girl yelled from her bubble gum chewing.

"uh...Ya sure is...." I glanced at it again and looked for a price tag.

She yelled again. "You got a band?"

"...No...not yet." I said the not yet part really softly to myself. That band thing was really tickling my fancy at the moment. I had an image in my mind of me and some random other guys in a backround. With some people singing along to unknown lyrics..."Hello Angel, tell me where are you, Tell me where we go from here" I really couldnt have been more random. But somhow I needed to write this down I reapeted to myself ..."Hello Angel, tell me where are you, Tell me where we go from here" I really had no idea what it ment but i really needed some paper before I forgot it.

"Uh Mame?" I yelled waving my finger in the air like a fucking person at a resturant in need of a waiter.

"Uggg! Name is Z!"

"Ummm Z? Can I have a Pen. " I ran up to the counter and looked around for one.

"Eh'? What do you need a goddamn pen for eh'?"

she just stood there with her arms crossed over her obnoxiousley skinny waist.

"Listen bitch! I got lyrics in my head and I need a Goddamn pen got it?"

Z looked like i bite her in the neck her mouth was in the biggest fucking 'O' I ever saw.

"Oh well join the club there hasn't been a coustomer for weeks and now you wanna buy a pen from a guitar store eh' what do you think I am eh' a Drug dealer?"

"Listen Ho, I need that fucking pen right this fucking second!" I raised a fist like I was actually gonna rip the shit out of her but she just chewed her gum and waved her head back and forth. she threw that pen like a harpoon and it almost killed me swear to god. it hit me right past the heart. I was ready to perform the sinking ship death, but seeing as I was still kickin,....

I grabbed the pen off the floor and looked back at Z. "I need a peice of paper!"

"You didn't ask for paper!"

"Well Im askin' now! I should have you fired for talking to a coustomer that way!"

"Im the owner of this goddamn place no one can fire me!"

"Hello Angel, tell me where are you, Tell me where we go from here!" The lyrics escaped my mouth I covered it quickly unawear of what kind of coment Z was gonna give out.
But she was silent. She stared at me as if I commeted murder right in front of her.

"What did you say." She said it so quitley. That i thought i only dreamed it. It was not in the voice she used, it was sweeter.

"...Just the lyrics i was gonna put down it was-"

"Say them agian."

"And I- wait what!" I was looking at her brown eyes now they were piercing. but in an expression i dont think anyone could interpret. "Hey no! NO! Get me a piece of paper!"

Z stared at me for a little while longer and then just picked up a piece of paper and handed it to me.

I walked out of that store that day knowing two things.

number one I found my future in a lifless guitar store. And I would never see Z again. I never knew what touched her that day when i found the lyrics in my head. I saw her in the obitchuary a month later:

kathy larson 'Z' died on a sunday, she will be forever remebered as a wonderful daughter and friend. 18 years of age and much potential that never was abel to escape.

later from a friend I heard about her suicide, But siomthing I did that day, changed her life somthing I said saved her soul. I could feel it. I could feel it.