Our Lady of sorrows

Mikey

I sat at mom's table while she cooked some really tasty pasta like we always had during special occasions. My hands were shaking like crazy as the cold wind from our unheated house burned my skin.

"Where is your brother! Is he staying with his his father or did he come to stay with me?"

"He's here." I said quietly. The truth was, I saw him go out for a walk this morning and hadn't seen him since. I supposed he went for a drink down town or a walk to the drug store. But when you thought about it it really wasn't in walking distance anyway.

"Well he better get here soon Or you'll have to eat all this spaghetti." She smiled warmly. "And i know you, Micheal James, you would have all this and more." rolling the spoon over the sauce. made my mouth water. My stomach really hoped Gerard wouldn't come home.

"Mikey Hun. This won't be ready for a couple of hour you know. I would rather you not torch er yourself with with the smell of this pasta you wanted for so long."

"Fine if you want me out you could just say so." I said sarcasticly. I got up and started to move twords the door.

"come back here! Do you think cuz you old enough to be in a rock band you can't kiss your own mother."

I quickly came over and gave my mommy a kiss on the cheek.

"Yeah, remember who makes you pasta." My mom smiled and looked at her pasta again. "Well get out! I told you not to torch er yourself!" She whisked me away with some flailing fingers.

I was in my room the third door to the left up the stairs. God i missed it so much. How many memories I missed. I looked over all the things I had left behind to pursue a wonderful dream. I ran my fingers over my old posters of anthrax and old pictures of high school.

I had to laugh at this picture of Frankie with his cheeks puffed out. I picked it up and brushed the dust of it. Has it really been that long since I've been home? I couldn't say it was more then a year but still...

It was so small everything about it was small. my bed had to be maybe a twin size, I can barely remember my feet peeking out the ends of the sheets. My little gold fish bowl with out a gold fish, a hamster cadge that was occupied by a dead hamster that was never pulled out of the cage.

suddenly my phone rang. My old mickey mouse phone. yeah i actually had one of those.

"Hello?"

"Hey MIKEY!!!!! Wadda ya doin' werrres ma?'

"who is this?" I looked out side my window just to make sure no one was stalking me.

"Me?....Im yor brother Gerrrarrd...yup thass me. Lisssin Mikey, I think I'm lost cant fid my way back homey."

"Where are you? Gee are you drunk?"

"Drunk?....me?....lissin here Mikey I'm reali lost.

Yup Gerard's drunk. just what i need. Older brother pick up duty."Gerard where are you its like 7:00 its not even dark yet!"

"Lissin, lissin Mikey I ain't drunk k? Im losst c I'm losst. AN Im a thirsty k, SO when ya come in get me a beer k? cuz lissin Mikey Im lost as hell."

I rolled my eyes this was worse then i thought poor Gee was stoned. Im surprised he didn't collapse right there.

"Gerard! where are you!" I put my hand over my eyes ready for another 'I'm lost Mikey.'

'Im at AAA pub It think HEY WHICHHHHHH PUBS DIS?He yelled into the phone. Dumb ass doesn't even know how to yell while covering the phone.

"Gerard please i can come pick you up I just need to know the street OK?"

Some silence... then: "Im at a Cherry streeeeeeet k? hey were are ya, u pickin' me up?"

i hung up. Cherry street. I looked at my clock I would be back in time for pasta.

I was driving furiously fast the Toyota was way over speed limit and the under a street light I saw him swaying back and forth slightly with a smug look on his face.

"Get in!" I was mad at him. Really really mad.

Gee opened the passenger door and almost fell over. He sloped inside and almost knocked his greasy hair into my nicely cleaned glasses. trying to sit up his eyes were rimmed and glazed over like he was dead. god forbid i bring home dead Gerard.

"you see dose gurrls Mikes, They was preeety as hell ya, K u can hav da one wit da scare on er face ya, i get the other one. k?"

"Shut up!" I yelled. Gerard's smile fadeded. and his eyes locked on mine for a brief second.

"was wit you taday i jus ast u if you thought they was preeety god don you everrrr wanna fuckk?"

"I SAID SHUT UP You stupid BASTARD!" my cheeks were flaming and inside all my rage came out and spilled on Gerard like toxic waste. "DON"T YOU SEE I HATE YOU!!! I HATE YOU! YOU RUIN EVERY THING!!! EVERY DAY ON THE TOUR I HAD TO PICK YOU UP SOMEWHERE OR DROPE YOU OFF SO YOU CAN COME BACK LIKE THIS!!!!"

Gerard was silence still in shock i could have said that. I looked at the cars speed 106 i better slow down but if i moved my foot from the petal i was afraid I would never get home.

"ya hate me huh? ya really hate me....I gonna walk home now." He opened the door.

"NO!" I yelled! He fell out of the car. I was at full speed and he walked out. I thought of what just happened and i looked back Mabye he lived. OH GOD PLEASE let him live I didn't mean those things i said honest i didn't. but i kept looking back and not seeing him I yanked the steering wheel to the side and crushing my Toyota to cub stop that killed my new bumper but it didn't matter. All that mattered was that my brother was alive. Please let him live. Or I will never be home.